Wake me up

What has become of the image of life in my mind,

when I was empty there was so much to learn.

Hollow heart revealing a touch so cold inside,

breaking the essence of what was never meant to be.

I see the light in the eyes of despair bleeding dry,

painted words of thoughts never able to feel.

Seeking out the meaning of hope with what I find,

to hold me down in these waters of passion and fire.

Raining upon me the words felt only in my kiss,

reaching out for memories that have never tasted her lips.

Undercover love breathing vows of endless times,

embraced by the moon as light becomes the way.

I sit here in her presence waiting for life to see my heart,

wondering who I am going to be when I wake from this dream.

A dream of love in what I now see as perfection in her arms.







Johnny Newell

Seduced by pain

I have fallen from your sight,

killing my heart in your hands.

I have tasted death and survived,

only to be mocked by love.

There was a time when I could feel,

now the pain doesn’t even hurt me.

It was a deal that I made to hold you,

one I would do all over again.

You are the only vision in my eyes,

tested by pain by the seduction within.

Your kiss was my poison left on my lust,

twisted with life and death inside.

I still feel your touch on my skin,

you always took my breath away.

There was only love in your heart for me,

no matter how dark I made myself to be.

I took the deal because I loved you that much,

I burn in heaven now just so you can live.









Johnny Newell

Waking up to love

Looking at you is like sitting in a field of flowers,

so colorful is the light I see in your eyes.

There is nothing that compares to you,

soft skin, radiant smile, gorgeous body.

Each time I wake up next to you I cry inside,

you are like waking up to a dream.

Your little feet touching my legs,

or how you hold my hand close to your heart.

You silhouette my body as you lay there,

mixed together we become one being.

I adore the way you are grouchy when you wake,

knowing that my love can calm your soul.

I love making coffee for you twice as strong,

just the way I like it, so bold and divine.

You make me your snooze button,

to remind you that we get to love again today.

The scent on your body from the night before,

bringing me to the same place we just explored.

You are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen,

there is only perfection in your life.

I love how your hair is attracted to my face,

causing me to itch through the night.

How your breathing makes a song only I can hear,

and the way you turn around just to make sure I am there.

I love how you don’t want to get out of bed,

telling me to close my eyes for just five more minutes.

Hiding your face still makes me smile inside,

because you want to look perfect for me.

The way your breath smells of passion,

allowing me to kiss you again and again.

I love how even in the darkest days you shine,

for your beauty is none like I have ever known.

You grunt when I try to get out of bed,

because you need me to hold on a little while longer.

Most of all what I love about waking up next to you,

I love knowing that I will get to be by your side tonight.

You are the image of beauty, I love you so much.











Johnny Newell

pieces of you

So many pieces to your love,

placing together my imperfection.

You are the puzzle I created.

with each moment we share.

There is none like your beauty,

mixed into my heart.

You complete my everything,

all is finished by your touch.

I see you refracting in my eyes,

making these pieces whole.

You walked into my world,

saved me from whom I am.

I see clearly now you light,

twisted and so beautiful.

A puzzle to teach me,

a love to understand.

I have no doubt in my heart,

for with you I am free.

When I see you puzzled,

you are so perfect to me.

As we come together,

your picture is quite clear.







Johnny Newell

For her love I live

Who was I to say anything to her?

She was so beautiful,

so enticing,

so radiant,

she was perfect.

Why did she have to kiss me that way?

Her subtle lips,

intoxicating smile,

gorgeous body,

like an angel.

Where could such a beauty come from?

Heart like a lion,

touch of a god,

eyes of running water,

my fantasy in front of me.

How could she see me the way she did?

Ghostly image of life,

love like a mother can,

words without words,

a fallen angel.

Does she see the man that I am?

Afraid of life,

scared to death,

alone in a crowd,

but she sees me.

What can I do now that she is gone?

Aimlessly wandering,

seeking what can’t be found,

reaching for the stars,

empty handed again.

Is there a reason she chose me to hold her?

Such a dream in her eyes,

what a kiss from her heart,

taken from grace,

to be by my side.

Did she know I was a Vampire?

Deep kiss forever,

living death to find,

her blood was my love,

and I took it.

How can I survive if she is not there anymore?

I taste her kiss on my lips,

feel her touch on my face,

hear her voice in my ear,

feel her in each breath I take.

Who was I ever when I was not a part of her?

Unable to know what death is,

I never could love another,

yet I love her to this day,

as I await my doom for love.











Johnny Newell

My Angel's voice

In the way she said hello to me I knew,

I existed when for so long I was a ghost.

Hiding in shadows to reveal my pain,

in light where love wasn’t real.

She took my heart in her hands,

told me she loved me like never before.

Her kiss is like my ocean,

her touch is the reason I sin.

Reaching out for nothing,

in turn I found in her everything.

Contradiction of life making love,

where now I see as my life.

So hidden my heart from this world,

she grabbed my hand and came into me.

No darkness to bind what I am feeling,

no shadows left for me to hide in.

Lips of wine now my sorrow,

voice of an Angel so pure.

She speaks to me in destiny,

she holds my once broken heart.

Reaching out to find something,

I realized in her arms I am free.

Whispers on the wind this desire,

spoken from my Angel’s heart.

Serenade my life this poem,

sing again to my heart this love.

Lift me up my new life,

spoken by my Angel tonight.

How can she reach so deep inside,

who am I without her?

My Angel’s voice ringing perfection,

in times where my life met its end.

My Angel I love you forever,

when we touch I know only love.

Sleeping beside my redeemer,

carried by the voice in my heart.










Johnny Newell

Into sorrow

I don’t know how to feel anymore,

my heart is breaking and I don’t know why.

I cry inside so nobody sees me,

yet my eyes bleed the sorrow from within.

Sadness takes my hand as I fall,

showing me the way to hell in my eyes.

Never in my life have I wanted this way,

breath taken from me in my suffering.

To anything I am ready to give my love,

setbacks of life just jumping in my way.

No moonlight covering my life dying cold,

warmth of reason hiding from me.

I know where I belong, I know who I love,

with a knife in my heart I realize I am hers.

Painful dreams reminding me of resentment,

while the world laughs in my face.

So close to your arms I cry alone,

hoping that this is all just a nightmare.

She gives love to me when nobody else could,

holding in her hands the reason I live.

Am I wrong for needing her touch right now,

or am I just a selfish man wanting his way?

Brokenness calling me into a vision of lies,

feeling so down without feeling at all.

It was in her touch that I knew almost nothing,

where everything had meaning in our hearts.

I stand alone to be together with my lover,

and fall into sorrow by the touch of life.









Johnny Newell

Misunderstood

Seduced by fire my heart cries her lust,

yearning this burning within my being.

Taken by the wrath of love unseen,

hypocritical cries of agonizing reality.

Burned by destiny in the heart of fate,

twisted revelation leaving me cold.

Soil of passion pleasing my will to die,

sufficed regret waking up the demons.

Growing roots of a heart broken beating gone,

weeds of fear created in dreams.

Weakness calling mind’s need for more,

shriveled up to be thrown aside.

Wind embracing hellish fantasies,

wings of angels falling to the pain.

Wreaking havoc this chaotic light denies,

doom approaching life facing death.

Tornado of life written by my hands,

bathed in blood meant to be misunderstood.

Water my comfort being home drowning light,

shades of black my purple eyes denied.

Emotional state of mind my heart gives in,

town apart by two, living death this love.

Breathing my hope this world made by trust,

becoming unbecoming understanding myself.









Johnny Newell

Dreaming agony

On the sidelines of life,

confusion killing reasons,

light chosen to be undone.

Giving into division we fall,

becoming into this nothingness,

ripped into pieces this life.

Survival denied inside,

left alone to be torn,

beyond these pieces of hope.

Taking away what was,

making what will never be,

dying for self bleeding forever.

Held down to reveal,

pleasure in pain,

feared by fate.

Drowning for nothing,

kissed by death alive,

reaching into dreams.

Would you wish me away,

could you see my love,

should I walk from your touch?

Tears frozen my heart,

heart broken your love,

love spoken this lie.

Kill me my soul awaits,

fiery demise my home,

heavenly dream my hell.









Johnny Newell

Stroke of blindness

Touching myself before you,

feeling what I feel.

In a moment of passion my pain,

release from this need.

What I have is for you,

open your eyes take my hand.

Tasting my orgasm your desire,

filling our thoughts with lust.

Each stroke made we uncover,

waterfalls of life burning love.

Seeking to find this reason,

for jealous eyes wanting me.

Taken from my hand your fantasy,

bursting all over myself.

Eyes are open to take me inside,

moaning for life in your pain.

Watching you melt as you see me,

masturbation just the endgame.

Hands are colored in white,

lips hinted in fantasy.

Looking at you watching me embrace,

myself in waters of light.

Harder I am to live in you,

knowing that this is for love.

Explosion revealing my passion,

giving pleasure to myself for your name.

I see your eyes enticing my desires,

as I burst into reality this dream.

Open your mouth and taste me,

pleasing your wants with my touch.









Johnny Newell

My Angel's dark love

Fly away with me she says,

in her sleep where she flies.

Tattoos of wings broken,

carrying her love to me in dreams.

Whispers on the wind she creates,

speaking lust in lovers calming touch.

Destined to remain we find our way,

in the arms of love where she holds on.

I feel her heartbeat completing mine,

killing the pain in this hell we chose.

No angel can reach this depth we have made,

yet my Angel’s dark love makes me who we are.

Tears from heaven falling fiery deaths of life,

darkness breaking hearts for shadows to consume.

Purple skies in black leather binding lust,

tasting the fleshly desires found in her thighs.

She holds me close allowing me to control her,

slowly penetrating her so she feels every inch of me.

Her soft moans creating smiles on her heart,

as love makes us in making love in vain.

Deeper she cries out holding me inside,

finding what heaven was always meant to be.

Each thrust into her darkness, each kiss taken,

feeling each other with lips our tongues crave pain.

Love breaking passion finding hardness within,

eroticism falls to this ecstasy forged by our dreams.

Fantasy calling home her love within my kiss,

in my eyes, in her mouth, where lust was created in dark waters.











Johnny Newell

In my Angel's fall

Wrists cut bleeding life away,

tormented heart revealed,

painful eyes crying,

light fading into death,

visions made from the stars.

Seeing only the fears left inside of his heart,

taking from life this reason to live.

Dead to this world he falls from light,

broken wings of love tasting true hate.

Seeking sorrowful lies,

spoken without words,

facing images mirror,

realm of shades undone,

as he falls from the heavens.

In his eyes he knew that he had given this pain,

to the love he had never wanted to feel.

She cried in his face when her heart was taken,

she died in his arms forced back to hell.

Renounced life blind,

denounced god her heart,

fallen away to reality,

burned by love,

made to see nothing.

He tried to protect her from the wrath she would face,

making her pain his own as he fell to the fire.

Each thought illusive in dreams becoming truth,

giving up his eternity to have forever with her.

Tears in blood making wine,

tasting pain in each kiss,

lips of sin making clear,

love in pain and death,

as all lights go out.









Johnny Newell

Pisces in Aquarius

Cringing pain agonizing defeat,

breathless air lungs drowning.

Lightless candle burning love,

listless life dreaming unbearable.

Seeing the past to become undone,

in voices unspoken these words.

Falsification breeding deception,

fading deeper into view.

Heart of ash materializing fear,

body of rain snowing death.

Bearing the shame to hide away,

crying without eyes blindly stated.

Broken to fix unbecoming,

lies written in my blood.

Held down to rise against,

swimming away from the flow.

A fish meets his end in beginnings,

lights share shadows with darkness.

Pain and love proven partners,

water held close to the wind.

She holds me in her hands to define,

definition of hope in my strength.

Bound to love everlasting,

treachery taught in despair.







Johnny Newell

Singing my love for love

Sweetheart,

I know I see you everyday, but somehow each day I grow deeper in love with you. This is hard to explain. I look into the morning sky while you are asleep. The color blue is magnified into such an image. The sounds of the birds and even the way the flowers smell. All that I see now is perfect just in waking up next to you. The rain feels like heaven, the clouds dream of evaporation. The gentle whispers you say to me as you first open your eyes just makes me fall into you all over again. There is nothing in my world that I have to embrace alone. Never do you let go of my hand. The color in your eyes as the sun shines through the window, or the way your hair flows like running water. I hear you say I love you. I taste beautiful lips in your kiss. How you touch my face as we stare into each others eyes, and the way you smile just melts my heart. I have seen so much pain in this world. I have fallen from grace just to meet you. Always was my heart waiting for you to feel. Never was never truly a part of me. I just wish to tell you that I love you. All that is me, is made yours. Take my hand if you want to for I am your man. You are my bride of rising shadows. I sing this last song to remind you. Of how much your love means to me. Wish me to stand and I will not fall. Dream with me of newer rainbows quite clear.



If you want my heart,

please take it.

If you need my love,

it is yours.

If you love me tonight,

I believe it.

If I am your man,

you are mine.



Each time I look into your eyes,

I know only how much love is now.

Every time that you see me,

my world becomes ours to live.



I know that you want me,

you have me.

I know that you need me,

take me.

I know that your love is mine,

I accept it.

I know you believe in this,

our first kiss.



Each kiss we share I know inside,

we are more than this life.

Every time our hearts are beating,

I know we are the same love.





In singing this to you I know one thing. You love me with all that you have in your heart. I know and realize this new love we have, was made by the tears we left behind. I cannot wait until you come home tonight. A kiss from my Goddess is my desire, and baby you are my secret fantasy. I love you always









Johnny Newell

Love meets Pain

Looking down around her she sees,

painful misguided thoughts of love.

Tasting each scent within her kiss,

where pain and love become one.

Held together by the desire for more,

her heart opens up to understand.

Falling into depths unheard of,

while she sings under the waterfalls of life.

Her kiss known only by her lover,

in hell where he waits for her to come.

Forsaken to this death in love’s game,

inside of pain where we are complete.

Her whispers speak of doom approaching,

accountable love in despair holding on.

Absolution endgame known by her touch,

flames of heaven burning on.

Reaching new ways to discover,

her heart cries only for me.

I am the pain that she needed,

and she is the love completing my heart.









Johnny Newell

Darklight dream

I don’t know where I am,

lights are dark, shadows are cold.

Ice beneath of me calling,

holding me within my demise.

Scared of admitting defeat,

afraid to lose control.

Hiding behind my dreams,

waking up in nightmares.

Weeping for disbelief,

wings carrying my pain.

Bleeding love in tears,

slicing through life undefiled.

Dancing devils drunk on life,

singing angels torn apart.

Lost within the lies of love,

drowning in air as waters fall.

Recluse hidden outside in crowds,

screaming without words in time.

Flowers sending grave of light,

death seeking heaven’s gates.

Killed by seasons changing love,

denied by fate in destiny’s call.

Taken from sleep through memories,

flesh fading into today burning the night.

Buried within her heart so lonely,

finding what a tomb could reveal.

No rainbows to admire,

no treasure to attain.

Light without my shadows,

body without my grave.

Painfulness no feeling,

drained to making full.

Poem of sorrow written,

bound in blood my soul.

Dreams becoming life,

reality falling to god.

No face behind eyes,

speaking words no lips.

Tongue made for pleasure,

kiss torn apart my heart.

Vampire dreaming wine,

blood giving way to life.

Beating heart of hope,

lust of all fictitious my warmth.

Path of light darkness free,

held down to die alone.

Heaven on fire my hell,

clouds of flames my way.

Hands in blood my eyes,

waking up without my love.

Soul of woman holding man,

wings of devils flights of angels.









Johnny Newell

Ecstasy entwined

You looked into my eyes just before you kissed me,

my hands fell to your side as heaven was released.

Such a kiss of passion found in your arms,

more than my dreams could explain.

Whispering in my ear what you wanted,

grabbing my pants as you bit my neck.

Reaching down you unveil me,

feeling what I have become.

I feel your tongue on my body,

like fantasies in my mind you are here.

Pinning me against the walls of desire,

as your kiss becomes my greatest sin.

Slowly you go down on me,

I am unable to move as you take me.

All the thoughts break to nothing,

feeling how deep your kiss can go.

You rise to your feet and lick my lips,

walking away to our bed.

Panties of purple passion’s fire,

ready to be removed by my hand.

As you beckon me to come over,

I know that I am your slave.

“Take me” you say as I fall,

between your legs where my dreams await.

Kissing your legs I taste true heat,

burning for your scent my tongue.

Waters of rivers and oceans,

leading me where I belong.

My hair in your hands you pull me,

up to your lips this kiss.

Taking me in your hands,

leading me to ecstasy entwined.









Johnny Newell

Birthday star

What was in my wish set before my eyes,

was this always the image of life growing?

The stars seen within my eyes are true,

as the gift I always wanted is made.

She sits before me with smiles on her heart,

says mommy when she needs something.

So many times now to look forward to,

so many nights where perfection knows my name.

I get to hold such an angel in my arms,

so young and fragile in my strength.

A mothers wish for who I have in you,

smiling down on my heart with dreams of life.

Was this always my wish growing up,

or did my wish come to me after I had found you?

No amount of years to take my baby’s youth away,

just pictures of how we grew together in love.

I feel the essence of desire on her heart,

she sings to fairies that fly around.

She loves cookies and candy and calls me friend,

plays with me when she knows I am down.

Lifting up my love to this wish on my star,

Happy Birthday dreams born inside of my heart.









Johnny Newell

Killing god

My heart stops as the loneliness sets in,

all images of love are thrown away.

No stars shinning brightly in my eyes,

no feeling left to understand.

I cry alone in the shadows left behind,

the silence you send me my fate.

All of the truth once revealed,

is now just a memory I wish to forget.

There was never enough hope to endure,

all that we had fell to its end.

Now as I sit here in the darkness again,

I feel how I never wished to feel.

Why did you take her from me,

who are you to end her life?

I curse you for what you have taken,

I will burn you where you stand.

My love I am coming for you,

through hell and pain will I fight.

This night belongs to the dying,

and god you will die this night.

In hell I will burn to release you,

my heart still holds your name.

Here I come my love please see me,

reach for my hand once again.







Johnny Newell

You said as I said

You said hello to me,

I have been falling since.

You said my name,

my heart is open now.

You said that you liked me,

so much more than before.

You said I love you,

the door was opened up.

I said do you remember me,

your smile took my heart.

I said your name out loud,

as the light covered my eyes.

I said that I loved you,

for the last time in my life.

I said will you marry me,

tears fell to the floor.

We said never again,

proven wrong we are.

We said I do,

the heavens opened up.

We said forever,

and in forever we are bound.

We say I love you more,

than anything we have known.







Johnny Newell

Before it all, was you

Perfection, always have I sought out to find.

Complication, was never there when I needed her.

Vindication, an image of light breaking the sky.

Purification, found only as I gave up my life.



In my eyes I have always seen the beauty left behind,

as waters crashed upon the shores of my life.

Blindly I fell away into this reason of hope with love,

unaware of what I would do to sustain this heart I cried.

Was this always the intent beyond reasoning fading faster,

or have I just been the very image of what I used to despise?

Seeing you here before me in nothing but the candlelight,

makes the shadows hide away as we come together.

You may not know this, but my heart is yours to hold,

in times of pain or when the sorrow is too much to take.

You have my love to keep you warm tonight my life,

in all ways that you can dream, my hope is in your touch.

I knew before the stars first shone their light upon my face,

that I would love you with more than my body could contain.

Before the first wave broke on the sands of time I could feel,

how your heart would love me in ways this world couldn’t explain.

Before the first breath was taken and before it was passed down,

I knew the only way to live was to love in death your heart.

Before there was a world to walk alone on in this time,

my everything was promised to one woman I have in you.

Before gods were created my existence held one truth,

with all that stirs within me, I was made for loving you.









Johnny Newell

Synonym of beauty

Realizing now that you love me more than I have ever dreamt,

shows me just how much I have always waited to understand.

In the words I cannot speak because of the shyness inside,

or the way you make me smile at just about anything.

For so long have I hid in the darkness just to feel your light,

nights became the only home I could ever understand.

When we wake up together I feel the beauty of sleep,

each time I open my eyes there is an angel laying with me.

Searching for the right words to express your beautiful heart,

is like trying to weigh the depth of my love for you.

I have heard you say my name in times of passion and lust,

tasted your lips while the rain poured down around us.

You have made in me a home for your heart to always stay,

and in my hands are your hands, in my eyes your eyes shine.

A silence around us speaking the lyrics we thrive on,

light becoming love, destiny making forever.

In a few words that come to my mind I know,

I am yours to love and in my love is your name.

Souls beckon the end of beginnings running dry,

beyond the tears where rivers of life flow.

In my hands this touch of pulchritudinous allure,

my eyes see and feel the wondrous life in your love.

Beyond beautiful my love I feel you again so deep,

where angels and fairies play for the same desire.







Johnny Newell

Teasing me

Squeeze me a little harder than before,

make me, take me, consume me.

Embrace the pain in my passion,

feel the desire burning strong.

Each and every kiss you find,

has my yearning for your touch.

Hold me softly no more this night,

ravage the pleasure in my body.

I can feel your eyes on me,

tasting your lips as we unite.

Held together in darkness,

harder tonight my love.

Place you hands on my neck,

find the air leaving fast.

Tie me down to the floor,

make me do what you want.

Tease me again make me harder,

filling you up in this moment.

Tickle me again as I scream,

for more than the gentle before.









Johnny Newell

Heart to heart

My eyes have been opened to what has always been around me. An ugly world made beautiful by love. Sometimes I feel so lost in this way I cannot breathe, yet in the arms of my hope I am found. So cold the weather is to my hands. So icy white with painful thoughts of being wrong again. Coffee in my hand so warm. Her heart in my chest beating strong. For so long I have been fighting off my emotions. Too long have I been so afraid of who I am. She wakes me up with whispers on the wind, she holds my hand as life drifts together. How could I have been so blind? Does she realize who I am without her touch? So many feelings rushing through me, almost too much to handle. Opening my voice singing rainbows these flowers of hope. Her smile greets me in the morning with love and light.



From so far away can you feel me?

Here I am my love ready to fall.

In my arms will you feel safe again?

In my hands I break down your walls.

Sleeping next to this angel,

I find who I was always meant to be.

Making way through the torture,

she opens my heart up to see.

So many tears I have given,

as everything found its own way.

Taken from pain to become,

this man and woman today.



He was waiting right there for me to see him. Somehow I remembered his name. Watching the flowers become the beauty I now see, in the life we have made as one flesh. His touch wakes me up in the sunlight. I watch the moon as he sings to me forever. When I hear his voice I know how he feels. You can see it in his heart as he smiles. The tears never allowed to be revealed, say things that words cannot speak. In his arms I feel I am home. As we sleep together I know I am living a dream. If I can’t say my heart to his heart then I would know nothing, but in our silence I know I am where I belong.









Johnny Newell

Why didn't you come

Is it in the air these feelings of regretful sorrow?

As I sit here in the darkness alone is all that I know.

There are no tears just this feeling of doubt and loss,

created in my heart as lights fade away.

I feel so empty without your touch,

my words make no sense tonight as I fade.

I miss you so much it is killing me,

nothing to take this away but your touch.

Is this the only reason left for me to cry?

As my shades of gray drift into my black.

Only the loneliest touch brushing my face,

kissing the light from my eyes as I die.

You are not here with me and I need you so bad,

only your kiss will be able to keep me alive.

Am I truly nothing without you next to me?

Does your heart feel the pain that I hide?

I wish that you had come to my arms,

and as I burn in the shadows I know I am gone.

If you are still out there remember my love,

as I drown tonight in fire, my life speaks your name.







Johnny Newell

Plugs please

My head starts pounding as this week sets in,

as the swelling hits me, I am in pain.

I feel the pressure inside of my soul,

each movement harder than before.

Emotions hit me in all that I see,

my heart can’t take it but once a month.

All that I hear is magnified in my ears,

as screaming children keep me up at night.

I eat crackers like crazy and chocolate is so great,

no Motrin to take away these feelings I feel.

When the rain falls down my world falls apart,

I just want to rest before I lose my mind.

Don’t touch me if you want to live through the day,

get me my coffee before another word is said.

I don’t want to watch this movie again,

please stop pulling on my clothes.

If you truly love me than please let me go,

as lights hurt my eyes your touch burns my skin.

I do need a few days to come out of this hell,

and if you knew what was good for you, you’d walk away.

I feel the blood coming so honey if you don’t mind,

pick me up some tampons before I make a bloody mess.









Johnny Newell

What I feel in you

When I am away from you I cry,
when you are sad I feel your pain.
When you love me you love me well,
when I hurt it’s for you.
I have never known this kind of feeling before,
all of my thoughts are of you and me.
Never in a world so full of pain,
could I ever believe in true love.
Now I know I was wrong,
in you I have a truth so deep.
There are questions and fears inside,
but nothing we can’t get through.
I love you with a heart so fragile and cold,
you warm me up with a touch of your love.
I was so afraid to hold you before now,
now I am afraid to not hold you right now.
I love you and I feel this only when I am with you,
never a second passes by that I am not with you now.
All of my fears are so empty when I am holding you so close,
your body up against mine as we sleep and dream together.
I feel you breathe life into my dying soul,
your kiss heals my pain and I cry for you.
Nothing has ever been everything to me,
not even the life that I lived alone.
I see in you the same dreams shared under the same sky,
our mother paints our eyes in blood, our father burn the day away.
You are my lover in the morning as the sun takes the cold from us,
bleeding in the desires of our heart now in love with one.
I cherish every moment we have and I know in time I will hold you,
I cry when you cry, I hurt when you hurt, I love the way you love me.







Johnny Newell

As one love, we love

In all the ways I love you,

I love being in your arms the most.

How safe I feel as we breathe,

how this world just fades from my mind.

You whisper at times your desires,

causing great feelings of passion.

All of the things you speak of,

are the same things I dream.

You are to me much more than hopes,

you are to me my life and our death.

Your love comforts this yearning,

and all the images that are left.

In your heart I am something,

in my arms you are everything.

As the lights give way to the candles burning,

it is in your arms I am free.

There is nothing sacred without you,

if I do something alone I am afraid.

You are the calming in my storms tonight,

I am the light to carry you home.

There is one feeling I know we share,

it is the depth of this beautiful love.

In the waters where we came to be,

there is only love left to drown in as one.









Johnny Newell

Killing hearts

With a touch of forever love burns on,
as the times flies by pain sets in.
Ahead is the road no one knows,
in a world already broken apart.
Standing at the doorway to despair,
is the love found by hearts dying to feel.
Something never felt by either before,
killing hearts just to love in their own way.
Drifter, ghost, runner, hiding from the pain,
strong one, angel, holder of life’s secrets.
You see the light so beautiful in their eyes,
broken by the fears they both share.
Lovers in life and wed by the blood they possess,
bound in eternal fires quenched by love.
Killing hearts to survive another day,
killing hearts forgotten by the dreams they see.
Visions held aside for the moment they shall know,
killing hearts forever in this heart that they hold.
Love burning bright in the light held in death,
lovers in hearts killing fire by their eyes.
Crying to die, living to love,
killing hearts never failing their hopes.
Bound in water held together by desire,
these killing hearts bleeding as one.
Love found, pain let go, fear creeping in,
pleasure known, dreams remembered, in loves killing heart.





Johnny Newell

Saying goodbye

I've looked past the feelings to see my way home,

letting go of the love to feel again.

There has always been pain to push me farther than before,

so much hope is left in my heart tonight.

I have made the choice to say goodbye to your love,

with pain pouring in I fall to my knees.

The light that used me to taste the darkness,

the love that took me to remember pain.

You were always there to hurt me more than yesterday,

your words more empty to me now.

I am falling away from your touch inside,

I am saying goodbye to the hurt that is you.

Your touch once so warm and full of life,

has become the reasons I wanted to die.

I don't have to live this way any more,

you can't have my heart, you don't feel my soul.

This has been one of the hardest actions I've ever wanted to take,

the pain I felt before seems to be greater today.

Saying goodbye to your love gives new hopes for my heart,

letting go of holding onto you now is the only thing I can do.

Goodbye my love I will never give my pain away to you,

forget my touch, let go of the man I know I should be...alone...







Johnny Darklight

Virginity lost

Seeing you against the walls of my fantasies,

calling me back into your arms tonight.

I hear you whisper my name in silence,

feeling your breasts against my heart.

Your lips prowl my body enticing,

as your tongue reaches into my dreams.

Your fingers run through my hair,

as you kiss me I fall to the floor.

Peeling off your clothes above me,

I see what I have always waited for.

As you unbutton my jeans I am shaking,

softly your hands touch my thighs.

Tasting what I am for you,

unable to breathe as you control me.

I feel the weight of your body,

gently sitting on top of mine.

Holding my wrists down beside of me,

as you kiss me again for the first time.

Not knowing what to do you now show me,

taking my girth into your hand.

Slowly placing me inside of you,

as the heavens fall in my eyes.

Your hips move softly above me,

leaving your rivers on my skin.

Moaning for more in the twilight,

reaching ecstasy for the first time.

The look on my face lets you know,

how close I am to climax inside.

Backing away leaving me restless,

anxious for more in your touch.

Your smile before me unexpected,

as you go down on me I know.

Open your mouth and take me in,

as my first orgasm comes hard.

Out of breath you lay beside of me,

kissing me again as the stars shine.

Taken this man’s virtue away,

as love and lust greet the night.







Johnny Newell

Waking kiss

When alone inside I find no peace of mind,

when my heart skips a beat I know I am not alone.

As rivers become the tears left untried,

as my whispers fade I feel you next to me.

With what we are inside there is only light,

with all we are as one we breathe the same.

Love letting in as walls are breaking down,

love seeping into this body we share.

Nightmares are endlessly seeking to envision,

nightmares are only waking up without you.

Darkness holds the keys to a lost heart,

darkness was only my resting place before you.

Holding on for this moment we choose to embrace,

holding on for a love as divine as our light.

In you I have purpose more than living cold,

in me you have all that I will ever be.

My heart is in your hands waking the death within,

my love is your forever, my kiss will see you through.







Johnny Newell

My Angel's heart

By the door she waits for me to rise,
passion on her lips, desire in her eyes.
Calling me into a realm of dreams denied,
making a new way to explore what’s inside.
Touching my flesh with a magic enticing and strong,
as light becomes the path, in her heart I belong.
A look so amazing to a soul once so blind,
blessed by this Angel’s Love of mine.
Stepping towards a place inside of her I become,
nothing causing fear into her fantasies of Love.
A heart beyond words with a feeling so deep,
never looking back while she has a hold on me.
I feel the darkest heart inside of my body fade away,
coming into a light with Love, Loving her more each day.
There is no essence of time nor do our dreams pass on,
no choices made too hard, nothing felt as strong.
My Angel breaks my fall every time I start to pass,
waking me with a touch so beautiful, woken by her kiss.
Stand with my heart my Love in these dreams made for you,
find in me the man that can Love you like only I can do.
Kissing away the fear and wiping the pain away,
falling deeper into your heart, Loving you more today.
Stopping nothing but the fears trying to take control,
bleeding with lust, finding Love to hold.
My Angel you are so beautiful to me,
kill me with your touch, a Love loving endlessly.






Johnny Newell

Young life, old love

From a child to a man my life becomes,

to the loveless to love we are one.

Note passing by to see if you like me,

the smile on your face says you will.

So many fragile hearts left unattended,

as life makes her way through my eyes.

There was always a look on your smile,

nothing mattered to you but this trust.

Eyes of a goddess found bleeding,

the only tears you would ever cry.

From a distance I watched you discover,

as my dreams fell to the ground.

The only love I wanted to be with,

made a different path for herself.

Carrying the note that I wrote you,

reminding my heart you are here.

As life made its way past forgotten,

your name still comforts my heart.

Now that we are older I found you,

waiting for what we now have.

No letter to show how much,

just a look or a touch we now share.

Ageless times making beauty,

knowing only you are my life.

Woman coming to know understanding,

man finding the love in his bride.

Years are gone as we lay here,

holding one heart in our hands.

Life slips away and we know this,

dying together as love takes a stand.









Johnny Newell

Loved, the forsaken

Nights seem to be going by so fast now. After the torment had set in, I was empty inside. Looking back to what I think I remember only shows me how wrong I have been. Always was I searching for the answers. Never was anything made in what things seemed to be. The clouds raining the tears of the gods, or the very whispers from the wind. There was a time when all else was beautiful. Somewhat like a dream, somehow like hell. To face the nightmares alone was my way. No need to involve anyone in this charade. Tied to the tree of my life. I was made to be broken in the name of love. All of the fear that stayed within me, made me the man I am now. I see the rain in the distance. Now that my life is all but spent, I see clearly. Darkness to me was always beautiful. Nothing to live for in the light. Year after year my way had become endless. So lost in time where only blood could speak my pain. As my last breath is taken away, there is nothing more to fear in this love.



Broken soul unbecoming,

lifeless heart reaching home.

Drowning eyes crying rivers,

bleeding so lost in his own.

Each word never spoken,

no lie but life in his eyes.

Trying so hard to discover,

why he lived after he died.

Looking out in blindness,

seeing only what was clear.

Brokenness becoming undying,

life and love making his curse.



He was bruised before knowing what living was. There was never a way for his eyes to see what beauty could be. He tried so hard. He fell even harder. Really, there was nothing for him to live for. So many times I wanted to reach out for him to know. What he was taught about love was the lie. Stricken his heart by the name of love, torn apart was his life. Countless times I watched on as his body was tearing apart. His tears had become so empty, his hands were always covered in shame. In his screams I could feel as her felt. Each time the whip ripped his flesh, I cried. In a way I feel I was with him. In life I was there as he died. Now when the rain stars to pour down around me, I am reminded of who passed away. In the tears that once covered his eyes I see now why he ended his life. All for what love was made out to be. Because of his pain, I live in anguish. I hope to know what he was always searching for. To know what love could have been.









Johnny Newell

Your beauty

You're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.

Your eyes speak to me of rivers flowing into ecstasy.

Your lips speak of kisses that stop world and time.

Your hair is like the heavens flowing streams of passion into my hands.

Your touch calms the storms buried within my heart.

Your radiant aura shows me how to see for the first time.

Your kiss tames the soul inside of me breaking away from life.

Your beauty outweighs the deepest oceans in my eyes.

Your gentle way of expression teaches me how to live.

Your everything in nothingness revels who you are.

Your light creates the shadows in which I find my rest.

Your skies hold the stars that I wish upon each night.

Your hands hold my heart with the softest love I know.

You’re the meaning for meaning in reasons left unsaid.

Your life makes me who I am just by looking in my eyes.

Your voice reminds me of a dream I have yet to wake from.

Your love is my life, you are my bride, I am only alive to love you.









Johnny Newell

Making no sense

Your voice crashes on the shores of my soul,
breaking waves of passion in desires eyes.
Falling into bleeding words blessed within,
tempting painful pleasure inside.
Facing past emotion in future dreams,
placing emptiness so full in loves heart.
Images ghostly united by time standing still,
all reality becoming a vision of false hope.
Looking into you past the soul you reveal,
bringing me home in a desire I have yet to feel.
In my hands is your heart beating for life to fade,
kissed by petals so soft in poisonous ecstasy found.
All of my everything falls to the nothing in your eyes,
breaking free from the chains letting you go.
My soul breathes death in life so cold and gone,
frozen in the fires of a love yet to be seen.
Never always burning for what I cannot taste,
in pain I am free, in life I am able to pass away.
Holding lonely rain drops on the lips of eternity,
making a love to you that holds me so close to the flames.




Johnny Newell

Will you marry me?

To me you are the image of perfection,

in ways I am unable to speak.

I hope that I can be always,

as our forever mixes tonight.

You are the angel that saves me,

each time I close my eyes.

In my arms I can promise,

to always be the one holding your heart.

I know times may get so hard,

when life throws a curve our way.

I also know I will love you,

in ways only my heart can show.

If you take my hand it’s forever,

never again will you feel alone.

As moons rise and fall to the sun,

in my heart you are my home.

If I say something wrong please know,

mistakes will always come.

Yet in my kiss is your desire,

and in your love is my way.

Will you take my hand tonight,

will you take my name as your own?

I promise to make mistakes,

just to make it up to you even more.

I love you with all that is in me,

each heartbeat I break holds your name.

In the summer I will shower you with water,

to take away the heat burning strong.

In our fall the leaves will hold beauty,

like your eyes my visions are clear.

As winter fades into submission,

my love will keep you warm.

Spring flowers will light up your garden,

as life and love become our own.

Will you marry me this day forever,

a humble man pleads for your heart.







Johnny Newell

Marie and Matthew

For so long I had believed I was just like everyone else. Lost in this world of bullshit. So much has been done, too much to just forget. I am Matthew, stuck in the middle of life and death. 37 years old and so invisible. I take walks into town where the stares become so hard to handle. With music on, the world just fades into the background. What is it about me that makes people despise who I am? I really wish I knew the answers to the questions I am too afraid to ask. The world is at my disposal and yet I find things so difficult. There never seems to be any way for me to blend into the scenery. Why am I the way that I am? If I ever find out, I will let you know.



Lies fill the heart of this man,

lost in his own fear her falls.

Nothing to grant peace of mind,

living with a broken heart.

So desperately he sought out forever,

as pain became the only friend he knew.

Breaking away from reality he stands,

alone on the sands of his life.

He cries when no one is looking,

he sees with eyes too blind to open.

Soaking his hands with her heart,

he remembers how she once loved him.

On the edge of a knife he falls slowly,

ripping into who he once was.

Dying to find understanding,

of how his love passed away.



Sometimes I look into the sky, hoping to see her face. Never are my wishes met. I always stand alone. If there was a god that knew everything, why would he/she do this to me? Not once did my lover do wrong. Not once did she say a bad word. If love is perfection then she was love. So perfectly beautiful in all that she did. My heart beats her name in the rain. My hands faded into this blood. Her name is Marie and she holds me still. I feel her on the air as I breathe. I just wish I could still wake up in her arms. “Marie if you can hear me. I love you with all that I am. There is nothing to keep us apart, only this body I am cursed inside of.” As he gives up his life he sees. Marie is waiting with open arms.







Johnny Newell

You are as I am

You are more beautiful than the sun that burns my heart,

you are more invigorating than the moon which reflects my love.

You are more precious than the waters that flow through my soul,

you are the light that makes me feel like a man so in love with you.

You are the dream I have been waiting for my whole life,

you are the reality I have always wanted to die inside.

You are the reason I lift my head up to greet each day,

you are the only image held close to my heart tonight.



I am the only way for you to feel how you do with me,

I am the sorrow on your lips kissing away the pain.

I am the vastness of space so full of your love,

I am the only shadow left in your world of light.

I am your man to hold you in good times or through the bad,

I am the soul that has been searching for you to love me back.

I am the darkness to your light as night takes the day,

I am the moon reflecting the love you always send my way.



You are my dream,

I am your reality.

You are my hope,

I am your love.

You are my way,

I am your path.

You are my truth,

I am your man.









Johnny Newell

Breathing love

Hard to breathe,

so hard to feel,

even harder to stand,

alone we fall.

Love exactly,

in love even more,

loving who we are,

together we fade.

Painful to dream,

so painful this distance,

painfully broken apart,

unable to breathe alone.

Beauty is your name,

so much beauty in your eyes,

even more beautiful than life,

uprooted in life to love.

Forever we make,

forever we stand,

forever is our way,

in love we make forever.

Dance with me my dream,

dance for me my reality,

dancing I am to your song,

where love and light ignite.







Johnny Newell

Loving arms

If you fall my arms will catch you,

no need to be afraid.

If you hurt I will hold you,

I will cry with you.

If you cannot seem to fight,

I will fight for you.

If you are drowning in the rain,

my loving arms will shelter you.

In my touch I know you will always have enough,

taken from the pain, showered within my love.

Your heart might feel weak somehow away from me,

in my arms I will never let go as we were meant to be.

I see in your heart held within my hands tonight,

no fear of being alone just knowing I am at your side.

Close your eyes and let go of the feeling of pain,

bask in my loving arms as to life you find again.

To hold you is the passion I face in all ways combined,

believing in destiny where our hearts are entwined.

I love you more today than any time we spent apart,

please remember my love as you take ahold of my heart.









Johnny Newell

In everything we

Knowing only to be in need of everything,

makes its way into my heart as I bleed.

Tearing apart what was made long ago,

brick by brick my walls fall down.

Piece of my heart that was missing,

found inside of my hands.

Completion made while together,

perfection unsaid and undone.

Nowhere now is my patience,

crawling towards newer light.

Held down in the rivers of passion,

where everything becomes who we are.

Unknown by the faces before me,

smiling comfort in times of pain.

Raining upon my eyes with your love,

teaching me how to be a man.

Bride of shadows bringing light,

husband of death living love.

Waiting for the moment to come,

finding the truth in our way.







Johnny Newell

Breathtaking, beautiful, amazingly happy

Breathtaking you are to me in so many ways,

when you first wake up and smile so softly.

How your hair stays the same as changes fall,

so perfect you are to me in all ways divine.

I see you fall asleep and I will never let go,

your curves fit my body like water in the sea.

Each time you look my way I truly understand,

you always know how to take my breath away.



Beautiful you are in ways I cannot explain,

shelter from the calm, pleasure in your rain.

Stealing from my heart the only love I know,

blessing my world with you, please don’t let me go.

Your image painted in my mind while you hold my hand,

knowing you’re my woman and I am your man.

Flowers mean nothing compared to what you are,

beautiful you are to me my bright and shinning star.



Amazing your touch is to this broken man inside.

Inside is the key to holding each other forever.

Forever is only here when I am living it with you.

You have me in your hands as long as you want to.

To you I stand strong in ways too hard to control.

Control the game, this life just the illusion behind.

Behind your heart is my love reaching for amazing.

Amazing love the both of us in any way of life.



Happy thoughts we share,

nothing maters like this.

Happy we are inside,

for love is our way.

Happy I am with you,

so many ways tonight.

Happy you are in me,

knowing who we are.

Happy is the start,

and happy is our end.









Johnny Newell

Letting in

Do I hold breath away from your touch so warm and cold?

Is it possible to break before bending to what we are?

Is this the only fear left to endure together,

as life fades to seconds just before we die.

If this is a dream I have inside of you,

please never wake me up without a kiss.

Can this be the realization of what reality can be?

Are you my ghostly love embracing the light again?

I stand before the emptiness vacant of hope,

as life makes her way into this dream of us.

When I hold you there is no way I am letting go,

as breathing lives on our destiny is quite clear.

Do you still see me when you look into my eyes as I cry?

Can you feel the understanding so misunderstood?

As I wait in the shallow water of your love I know,

nothing makes a way while we don’t let go of life.

Stand with me tonight I won’t let you down,

just remember who we are, we are each other.









Johnny Newell

Dark love

I have nothing to give you but myself,
the world dies but in you love lives on.
Torment sets in with winds changing fast,
calling me back to the hell I once knew.
The earth dissolves leaving me sinking down slow,
making my life a vapor forgotten in time.
Fire burns my soul while my heart bleeds into you,
making love the only thing left for me to share.
Water restores me to a being made for you,
living, dying, loving, just as we do.
Crying, hoping, facing all pain together,
sinking below the flames of denial.
Facing this reality broken as one,
no moon left to shine without love.
In my death where life becomes my way,
I feel you in the shadows, I taste you in the grave.
Making light the reasons shadows exist,
holding on for this touch of desire to give in.
Lips of poisonous love killing my heart,
in love with lust in passion we fall.
Take from my hand this reason to feel,
dark love in light times born in fire undone.



Johnny Newell

Mermaid dreams

She watches the stars through her window,

believing he sees what she wishes for.

Lights are out in her mind,

all thoughts become of his touch.

Somewhere out there he awaits her,

she smiles as she cries out his name.

Underneath of the waters where she sleeps,

he tries so hard to swim to her arms.

Veiled is the beauty in the heavens,

flames of hell burning strong.

In her heart there is no desperation,

like how she needs him tonight.

Lighting a candle for his journey home,

magical vision light his way.

She closes her eyes and she finds him,

safely carrying him to shore.

As he open his eyes he knows,

her scent kissing lips under her stars.

So long he has been drifting at sea,

turn on the lights for he is coming back home.









Johnny Newell

Change in light

My dearest love,

In my heart there is only pure love so true for you.

I know there are times when I doubt myself, but

It is only because I don’t see what you see in me.

When I smile it is for how you make me feel, and

as time slips away I forget how much I am to you.

When you look into my eyes I see how amazing you are.

Each breath I steal just gives me that much more, but

when I am alone in my head I am reminded of ugliness.

Never in my life have I been blessed by such a woman.

You reach into me and teach me so much about love, and

honestly I see what you feel as you touch me again.

I have in you the greatest gift I have ever known.

The light hazel eyes that pierce my soul, and

the lips of an angel revealing heaven to me.

To me you are the word of beauty in my eyes.

Remember when we were beyond redemption, yet

somehow in our meeting we found what love could be?

I know I make mistakes in how I get towards myself.

I see it in your voice as my words speak doubt, but

when with you I know I am more than ever before.

I love you past the gates that hell tries to hide.

In my heart there is room for only you, and

now that we are one I see what needs to change.

The truth is, you never asked me to change my ways.

Not that what I do merits such a task, but

for you I will do my best to know I am perfect for you.











Johnny Newell

Words of play

Broken badly beaten before,

eyes enlighten eternity endlessly.

Sorrowful sounds seeking silence,

deeply damaged dreading death.

Tasting temptation tantalizing,

amidst amorous apathy assumes.

Painful pleasures painted perception,

leaving life limitless letting lies leak.

Covered carcass ceasing calls created,

found forgotten falsely forsaken forever.

Grounded grasping gateway giving gone,

having hellish heaven heaping hands.

Insomnia inside invading intoxicated,

jammed jaded joking jewels.

Killing knowing kneeling,

just to feel your love.







Johnny Newell

Her love coming home

She comes home to flowers in her hands,

from so far away his love is sent.

Words of love in the life she smiles,

painted in light colors of hope.

A single tear rolls down her cheek,

knowing he will be coming home.

His heart in her hands she survives,

believing in dreams coming true.

“I love you with all that is in me,

so much passion I have saved.

When I am next to you soon you will know,

how much you are to my life.

In all ways I am I am for you,

believe me my love I am on my way.

No path too great for me to travel,

will ever keep me away from your touch.”

Simple note he left for her to read,

as moonlight fades into sun.

So far away he has been as of late,

but tonight he is coming back home.

Softly her heart smiles in his hands,

where warmth of winter breaks down.

He cries for her hand to remember,

a love found deep in his eyes.

She feels the beauty that he sends her,

on each word unspoken she knows.

She is the meaning of perfection,

in his eyes she is so beautiful.







Johnny Newell

Haiku of love

I am falling now,

nothing left for me to lose,

I am falling now.



I am breaking now,

nothing left for me to find,

I am breaking now.



In your eyes,

I know what love is,

in your eyes.



To my heart,

you teach me to love,

to my heart.



Now I am nothing,

just waiting at the doorway,

in you I am found.



River of true blood,

flowing into existence,

heart of true love.



Take me now,

show me the way home,

to your arms.



Love in me,

finding hope inside,

I love you.







Johnny Newell

Forever in my heart

There is just something about you that gets me,

in a way I have yet to understand.

When I close my eyes you are on my mind,

and as I wake up you are all I see.

I have had dreams before but this is new,

I am living what I see now inside of you.

All of the shadows fade away from my life,

nothing makes sense the way that you do.

In my thoughts where I cherish your voice,

or the flowers without names worthy of you.

Everything melts into this ocean,

and in you I swim to let go.

Why you are the constellations in my skies,

or how you look deep into me to find me.

There is nothing in this world I want to do,

then to continue waking up in your arms.

Sometimes when I am cold I am on fire,

by the softest kiss you place delicately on me.

Life doesn’t matter in my dreams of old,

for now we live more than my dreams.

If I am able to hold you this way,

I question nothing in knowing your love.

While the world seems to move to a different beat,

I will always love the song we perform.

I ask only that you look into my eyes,

as the sun rises again in the morning.

Tell me if I am still beautiful to your heart,

I will show you how divine you are in mine.









Johnny Newell

Hard to breathe

If I could possibly take this life alone I would,

now that I have been found by hope,

despair has no place inside of me.

If there was a way to make it home tonight,

I would be there with a smile,

ready to take in what you are.

If life has a purpose in my eyes I see now,

the only reason for reason is within you,

as leaves fade our hearts grow inside.

I am having trouble breathing tonight,

like the air in your kiss drowning my soul,

waiting for the next moment to take you in.

In your hands is the only key to my heart,

bleeding brokenly painted with love,

as in your touch my eyes can feel the day.

You are the purpose I dream of setting goals,

finding a way into your heart once again,

where we are home together so close inside.

When I try to see the stars tonight I am lost,

knowing how you shine in my life your love,

asking to redeem myself as flowers fade.

If the world ends tonight I know what I lose,

a way to feel you one last time before we die,

under the grave where darkness lets us go.

Here is my hand, may I keep your heart tonight?

Here are my eyes, can I envision your love?

Here is my forever, will you want it with me?

Here is my love, can you feel how deep it grows?







Johnny Newell

Eyes

With a smile she catches the day,

making night that much more.

Finding peace inside of dreams,

knowing only what she sees.

Through her eyes she knows,

understanding divine shadows behind.

Seeking out the reasons to survive,

painted in the colors in her eyes.

Smiling tomorrow today coming down,

tasting the rain in the tears left behind.

Falling deeper into nothing as everything starts,

in her eyes where stars can be stars.

One more look as all brightens her skies,

looking through life through her eyes.







Johnny Newell

Crazy love

Tasting bitter to find the sweet,
feelings falling far from belief.
Sweating blood pouring life,
past what's easy to find what's right.
Laying down to fear the dream,
of waking up alone it seems.
Letting go of what you need,
to find this love you have in me.

I walked for hours to find the ends of time laying waste,
to love in you this dream of waking up as one.
I feared you before this hour of calming rage,
loving you in ways only darkness could portray.
Your eyes shine with sparkles burning the stars within,
all is lost they said, never will we be found.
So much pain in this agony set upon our soul,
breaking in just to get out of this life so trivial.
I feel you taste my flesh under the moon so beautiful,
the kiss of demons killing this man I have become.
The time sets the stage in which we act our way through,
bleeding hearts mixing the water we have yet to fulfill.
Your love holds me together while I fall apart from life,
breath slips away from my lungs as you steal my heart.
I can't feel the emotions flowing from words rivers form,
drifting raft becomes the home I hid from for so long.
Alone with you in open seas crashing swells within our sight,
loving love lived long inside our dying eyes we shine.
Not all that remains the same will ever be unchanged,
under the lies in lust we feel becomes our understanding.
What more can one say before they fall apart inside,
is this the end of todays start of something so new from yesterday?

You feel me sleep in ways so true,
knowing my love is for only you.
Fearing nothing to keep us apart,
you have my soul I have your heart.
Lovers left to live in dark light,
dreaming in days to harness the night.
Life so cold in summers heat,
naked under stars we shall meet.
Touching body's desire for love,
feeling passion more than enough.
Knowing fucking feeling falling,
sucking licking biting calling.
Lovers set the stage for bed,
twisting the desires painting red.
Fall becomes spring summer to winter,
what the fuck sounds like winter anyways?




Johnny Newell

Pinned down

Pinned against the wall of lust,

holding your arms down,

placing my lips on your chest,

making waters flow within you.

Peeling off what remains,

revealing what I long for,

taking my breath away,

making you quiver in silence.

Tongue inside of your body,

hands exploring your touch,

making my way unto you,

trying to stand without the wall.

You place your heel in my back,

as our lips meet again under pain,

passionately broken to find,

reasons for lust as we love.

Run your fingers through my hair,

hold me back before the inevitable,

scream with me as we erupt,

feel my touch become your sin.

Picking you up around my waist,

penetration immersion your rivers,

slowly unwinding your taste,

making love to the shadows we create.

Kiss my lips like you want me,

feel my body as you need me,

taste my flesh as you crave me,

know in each thrust this love.







Johnny Newell

Saying never

Never do I want to know this feeling,

seeping through my emotions.

Never wanting to know love,

pouring through me like water.

Never expecting to have expectations,

brink of resentments letting go.

Never imagining forever to start,

waking up in the arms of rest.

Never desiring to feel lust,

but then I looked into your eyes.

In all that I never wanted I have in you,

breaking me as the walls I built fall.

Seeing the start of dreams forgotten,

as I opened my reality in your arms.

Never again I have told myself to find,

how never just makes me want you even more.

Never will I fall away into a love I don’t believe in,

yet in you I just find never is beautiful.

Never will I know what it feels like to dance,

as I move with you to the music our bodies make.

Never I have said only to be shown how wrong I am,

to face this life alone in coming to understand it.

Never will I fear the waiting for something I need,

a scared little boy waiting for the touch of your love.

Never again will never be the never I see,

for in our never’ we were made to be just what we denied.

We became we.







Johnny Newell