Nights seem to be going by so fast now. After the torment had set in, I was
empty inside. Looking back to what I think I remember only shows me how wrong I
have been. Always was I searching for the answers. Never was anything made in
what things seemed to be. The clouds raining the tears of the gods, or the very
whispers from the wind. There was a time when all else was beautiful. Somewhat
like a dream, somehow like hell. To face the nightmares alone was my way. No
need to involve anyone in this charade. Tied to the tree of my life. I was made
to be broken in the name of love. All of the fear that stayed within me, made me
the man I am now. I see the rain in the distance. Now that my life is all but
spent, I see clearly. Darkness to me was always beautiful. Nothing to live for
in the light. Year after year my way had become endless. So lost in time where
only blood could speak my pain. As my last breath is taken away, there is
nothing more to fear in this love.
Broken soul unbecoming,
lifeless heart reaching home.
Drowning eyes crying rivers,
bleeding so lost in his own.
Each word never spoken,
no lie but life in his eyes.
Trying so hard to discover,
why he lived after he died.
Looking out in blindness,
seeing only what was clear.
Brokenness becoming undying,
life and love making his curse.
He was bruised before knowing what living was. There was never a way for his eyes to see what beauty could be. He tried so hard. He fell even harder. Really, there was nothing for him to live for. So many times I wanted to reach out for him to know. What he was taught about love was the lie. Stricken his heart by the name of love, torn apart was his life. Countless times I watched on as his body was tearing apart. His tears had become so empty, his hands were always covered in shame. In his screams I could feel as her felt. Each time the whip ripped his flesh, I cried. In a way I feel I was with him. In life I was there as he died. Now when the rain stars to pour down around me, I am reminded of who passed away. In the tears that once covered his eyes I see now why he ended his life. All for what love was made out to be. Because of his pain, I live in anguish. I hope to know what he was always searching for. To know what love could have been.
Johnny Newell
Broken soul unbecoming,
lifeless heart reaching home.
Drowning eyes crying rivers,
bleeding so lost in his own.
Each word never spoken,
no lie but life in his eyes.
Trying so hard to discover,
why he lived after he died.
Looking out in blindness,
seeing only what was clear.
Brokenness becoming undying,
life and love making his curse.
He was bruised before knowing what living was. There was never a way for his eyes to see what beauty could be. He tried so hard. He fell even harder. Really, there was nothing for him to live for. So many times I wanted to reach out for him to know. What he was taught about love was the lie. Stricken his heart by the name of love, torn apart was his life. Countless times I watched on as his body was tearing apart. His tears had become so empty, his hands were always covered in shame. In his screams I could feel as her felt. Each time the whip ripped his flesh, I cried. In a way I feel I was with him. In life I was there as he died. Now when the rain stars to pour down around me, I am reminded of who passed away. In the tears that once covered his eyes I see now why he ended his life. All for what love was made out to be. Because of his pain, I live in anguish. I hope to know what he was always searching for. To know what love could have been.
Johnny Newell
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