My brightness is you

There is just something so beautiful about your smile,

I am taken away to a world made in dreams.

The softest touch arouses my complete desires,

as your kiss melts my heart into water.

When I think about you I am listless,

stuck in your eyes this dream of love.

In a trance you captivate me wholly,

there is nothing in this world but you.

Your scent catches me every time,

making it hard for me to even breathe.

To understand the love you give is my life,

laying beside you I am the spoon that you crave.

Something lighter in my darkness you complete me,

making hand in hand just what it means.

As a fish to water you are my heartbeat,

blessing me with perfection this love.

In all ways imaginable I am yours to control,

even though you never ask anything of me.

I love you with each breath I steal,

molded by love our hearts beat the same.







Johnny Newell

Invisible

In thinking I knew what love was, I was wrong.

So much pain in believing I mattered at all.

Now that I see myself in the mirror,

I know I am destined to die alone.

The sky seems to be only dark,

my tears are of the blood I shed.

If I love someone it is only one-sided,

guess that is what love is anyway.

In my heart I break for who I cherish,

and she doesn’t even know I exist.

Trying too hard to show what I feel,

making a fool out of the fool in me.

Does it even matter that I care,

or am I just a face in the crowd?

This means nothing for me now being forgotten,

for in my eyes I am already dead to her.

I see her face in the sky as I weep,

and her voice echoes through my head.

Maybe this is what was meant to be in her life,

or maybe I am just too ugly of a soul to love back.

To be ignored is more like being dead anyway,

but now I know she will never see my heart.









Johnny Newell

The wanderer

A wanderer traverses through time,
looking for what is already there.
There is a difference when one finds its origin,
you can’t find love if you don’t open yourself for pain.
This person goes to lengths I would not dare,
to prove to themselves love doesn’t exist.
Punch after punch to make what they see,
when did love become so selfish anyway?
This person gave and gave more through pain,
knowing there would be only sorrow.
Opened chest to reveal a true heart,
only to be broken in the name of love.
Still passion flows through the veins of this soul,
even though torture is brought on in spades.
Lying to only their self to save face,
as tears do fall, they fall hard when alone.
I have said “cry me a river of blood and in my heart you’ll have a home’,
I just never wanted to be right for myself.
The shaking sets in and all’s left is remorse,
laying alone with only shadows to blame.
The hardest part of this tale is too close for comfort,
because this tale is all about me.




Johnny Newell

Desire and flames

Like a flame burning for air to consume,

my will gives way to this yearning.

Light shines on your face revealing,

making in me this desire for more.

Insatiable twisting your body craves,

my touch in the shadows undone.

Looking into your eyes is my heaven,

where angels fall to the fires within.

Kisses like honey everlasting torment,

burning my soul to save this moment.

Your touch brings out my passionate dreams,

sleeping restlessly your heart bleeds my need.

Whispering softly words without words,

melting in me this candle’s flame.

No star in the sky holds anything to you,

beautiful romance tempted with flames.

Desire holds my hand in your arms I am alive,

dying for just another kiss from your grave.







Johnny Newell

Silhouetted

What was in his tears she’d wonder,

as the skies rained down on her eyes.

How can he be so enduring these times,

when all else appeared to drift away.

In her heart was room set apart for him,

she just couldn’t seem to place who he was.

The way his eyes penetrated deep within her,

as his stares made all time stand still.

She could smile to hide the tears she’d release,

but in her mind all was unclear.

What she has forgotten in his touch,

is what she is striving to see.

He looks upon her with love tickling desire,

passion flows from his lips loving kiss.

All that she cannot remember,

in pictures where they are one love.

Secret hears falling apart she weeps,

for this emptiness she doesn’t recall.

Standing by her side he never gives up,

to allow the memories take their course.

A tear rests on her pillow tonight,

where her head would make peace at war.

Silhouetted on the bed is her body,

this man finds he’s really alone.









Johnny Newell

Pictured

I was waiting to imagine myself in love,

and as time passed by I realized nothing.

Desperately falling into the shadows,

resting on wings of the eagles defiled.

Heartless man on the brink of death,

crying out for nobody to hear.

My fingers are numb in this essence of love,

feeling each breath taken by painful light.

No warm smiles to keep me close,

just this reflection of how I am pictured.

No tears can fall past my withered eyes,

hint of blue becoming the blackness inside.

Shrouded by regretful losses coming back,

tearing me apart from the inside of my guilt.

Nevertheless my portrait hangs on my soul,

reaching out for just another moment to hold.

She stands before me in a light of blinding shadows,

taking my hand to lead me beyond the shame.

Candlelight burning softly my nightmares name,

picturing a tale of love in this hell I await.









Johnny Newell

Gothic eyes

Who has cried the tears I have felt,

if all is lost how can I be forgotten?

Colors so cold freezing my way,

drowning my soul in this agony.

Reaching for a sign of love within me,

tears of black cover my eyes with sorrow.

As my hands become weak in my mire,

all dreams fade into the night.

Sacraments of death cringe at my name,

painted by false hopes of a life already gone.

Swimming away into destiny as I die,

holding nothing but her waters love.

Fear has taken me to a place I cannot find,

alone in what now I see as my darkness.

I cry for this moment to end as I break,

to pieces my heart crying tears of pain.

Images of fiery eyes bleeding away my touch,

no reminders of what never was anyway.

Tips of black my nails scratch into my tomorrow,

crying my soul, dying my heart, breaking apart my eyes.









Johnny Newell

Tears and dreams

If I had a heart to break I would be broken,

but as each day makes way for the night I fall.

Silent eyes crying for a world that doesn’t exist,

showering my hands with the blood I have spilt.

Trying to make the words out deafening my ears,

uttering forever in what is left of my life.

Allowing despair to take my heart away long ago,

choosing to become this figment of your imagination.

Blood pours out from the ages of light now cold,

remembering a kiss I never got to feel.

Deceived in a world without meaning for love,

no fear left to succumb to in my pain.

Stars still shine brighter than before,

but in my eyes the tears consume my dreams.







Johnny Newell

Johnny with love

I have a name,

but it doesn’t matter.

I hold a heart,

yet still I bleed.

I am a man of sorrows,

and it is behind my smile.

I am who I am,

to blend into death.

So many smiles I have pretended to show,

inside of my dreams I am able to feel.

No words spoken in my heart crying eyes,

raining on my soul this emptiness.

Love has a way of finding me still,

even though I run still I am weak.

Arms open wide for her to reach deep within,

becoming the image of shadows on my face.

I have a name,

I am Johnny.

I hold her heart,

bleeding with mine.

I am friends with sorrow,

who rarely shows a smile.

I am who I am,

blending with my love.





Johnny Newell

A vampire cries

There is nothing left in living,

the passion for love is lost.

Only attributes of eternity,

in this forever I waste away.

The wine of her lips still lingers,

as a kiss of pleasure in my eyes.

Agony tortures surrender,

blood covers my past in the light.

On my knees I beg please accept me,

nothing becoming the fate of my soul.

So little left to discover in my heart,

where no beat resides in my life.

Undead my path has fallen to emptiness,

no tears can I cry in the night.

As I try my needing for love,

only pain does my way desire.

Moon of destiny holds my hand,

leading me ways to reveal.

No point in living this forever alone,

if my love cannot take me back home.







Johnny Newell

Voices

Seemingly broken hearts of fall,

nestled between songs of hope.

Tenacious denial voices approach,

ways to become meaningful love.

Missing truthful ways to beguile,

ravishing lust within her lips.

Speaking out in fantasies uprooted,

feeling passion on her voice my wind.

Temptation calls out my heart to devise,

resembled in pain my soul cries.

Voices on her eyes bleeding tomorrow,

faced by demons unveiled by despair.

Unseen ghost hovering beneath,

grave of sorrow fighting off the shame.

Pictures in my voices seemingly cold again,

waiting for a moment to understand.

Reaching out to hear just one more I love you,

storms fall apart from her voice as my end finds me.







Johnny Newell

Silence dreaming ends

After all silence speaks the loudest,

reached by depths shallow grave.

Grievously dreamt imagination,

melting to freezing life thus far.

Hollow heart sought in black,

reflection distilled her touch.

Blurred by light dizzy contractions,

spinning up to fade into the night.

Screams vigorously trying vacant,

untouched fingers smoothly portray.

Kiss of love torn between hatred,

man of sorrow filled with grief.

Eyes in lust forgotten within,

fantasy making light of his soul.

Tied down in her waters he stands,

moon shinning brightly her way.

Fiery tomb now forsaken,

burning all the air he breathes.

Lost cause undone being done,

no way to swim this air so thick.

Falling upward towards extinction,

killed by a kiss without lips to feel.







Johnny Newell

Dreaming rain

Soaked up in the faces I see before me,

sorrow painting love with poisonous regret.

Water consumes my soul as whispers in the rain,

calling back into light the darkness I became.

No silence left to hear in my heart broken and cold,

caused by fear my world has fallen away from me.

Walking alone chasing shadows of what I was,

old oak tree perished within my dreams.

Feeling more alive while sleeping my pain away,

retribution recoiled by who I cannot see.

Laying face down in my home of light denied,

only then is blindness truly felt in my heart.

Glistened by sweat my body comes to be this,

on my knees in fate my life is ripped apart.

No sounds making the music I cherished long before,

back when time was nothing but a clock on the wall.

I see visions and make dreams what I desire,

yet in my solitude I am faced by only my reflection.

Nobody can seem to hear me crying tonight,

so I weep these tears on the rain blessed in your sky.









Johnny Newell

Forgotten lies

Rain quenching desires of old,

resonating eyes of summer before.

Kindling reminiscing love of hope,

painting light so fragile.

Finally held under water to see,

breathing death on the lips of life.

Making sense into nonsense this dream,

visionary lust made to taste the blindness.

Heartbreak reaching out for my mind,

explanation cold in the heat of hellish light.

Dust to ashes sprouting youth breaking free,

skies of painful memories burning inside.

No moment forgotten remembering my end,

death to live this way for eternity lost.

Quenched by hydration seeping into fate,

destiny lets go of tomorrow today.

Nothingness nonetheless forging through,

called by redeemers who forgot their own sin.

Cursed by a burning cross holding my name,

released by the holy hope of mischievous lies.

Taken down to recall the depth in which I suffered,

in all light where love was is no more.







Johnny Newell

My Angel's song

Lyrics flow into my heart,

yet I cannot seem to sing.

The way you used to listen,

or the depth in which you’d smile.

I sit here alone in the water,

trying to find my way.

So shallow my heart is now,

treading this life alone.

I hear the music lifting,

voices don’t utter my pain.

Cold now my life is becoming,

trying to see your face.

For countless hours we’d walk,

finding our meaning in love.

Now the heavens have fallen,

I can’t find my Angel tonight.

Whispering emotions bleeding,

tears of crystal my fall.

Killing painful memories,

with each song I try to sing.

Fortitude stands surrender,

seeking out patience again.

Sing for me your beauty,

in my Angel’s song of love.







Johnny Newell

Tonight my love forever

There have been dreams to imagine,

life to take for granted,

hopes to see through.

In a time where love is everything,

truth becomes the reason,

mixing into beauty with you.

So many nights I have wandered,

to find a way to feel,

my soul cries out one name.

In your eyes there is always a look,

showing me my heart,

taking pleasure in you.

At night I hide my meaning for this,

to hold you close again,

taking your hand in mine.

As love and lust blend into our forever,

pain and pleasure cease,

making this true passion.

So many ways to kiss you,

lips unlocked this time,

facing life as one.

To the stars where my heart is lost,

you find me in your water,

wet and divine this touch.

Holding you so close to feel your breath,

let loose your love again,

I am ready to fall away.

Now and forever your heart I’ll keep,

reminding me of this,

kissed by love your kiss.







Johnny Newell

From here I go

I have felt the love of the ages,

on my fingertips knew true lust.

Fallen away from forever,

and kissed passion with love.

I have seen the reflection of pain,

forging my heart deeper light.

Knew what it was to be wanted,

understood why I had to fall.

I have become who I am just to know,

why one has to hurt to see.

Faced my demons with fire,

been brought to my knees in agony.

In these waters of forever,

there have been things I can’t explain.

Making my way to discover,

what death and life see in me.

There was always a reason for this time,

each passing moon speaking clear.

Torn apart by dreams of tomorrow,

waking up alone in my bed.

I have found many ways to be free,

yet my memories haunt my heart.

Forsaken by friends lest my sorrow,

takes me home again tonight.

I have never known what this meant,

how life can change in a day.

From here I go to live out my love,

in the only arms able to hold on.







Johnny Newell

Touch

So perfect the sky in your eyes,

I see the light in which life was made.

Torn down to become this before me,

heaven’s touch on your fingertips.

Slowly your arms envelope my being,

taking me to places never seen.

Warm heart of love to befall my way,

slipping deeper into your touch.

Making this night too discerning,

twinkle little star brightened hand.

Leaping out as one soul on fire,

lighting the way to your touch.

Touch me again under this shade,

skies of darkness clearing forever.

Wrestling with imperfection,

touching my face with your lips.

You reach out for my heart,

taking me into your hands.

Beaming life unwavering,

touch me tonight under the stars.









Johnny Newell

Feel

Feel me suffocate the space between,

holding in my arms your meaning of love.

Feel my lips upon you breathing in the night,

with passion on your heart and lust in your eyes.

Feel my hands touching you in ways you’ve never felt,

lighting the way to heaven in a gentle embrace.

Feel all that I have for you in my grasp tonight,

making love in ways the gods envy.

Do you feel my heartbeat quicken,

do you feel my pulse rise?

Can you feel the sensation,

can you feel my touch?

Would you like to feel this moment,

would you love to feel my kiss?

Is there a way to feel this as one,

is this the way to feel?





Johnny Newell

Fantasy

Floating away on dreams of wishes,

held up on the wings of butterflies.

Soaring to the light in her eyes,

resting on clouds as she sleeps.

Perfectly beautiful painting divine,

blessings of love cherishing her heart.

Flowing rivers of purple imagination,

falling waters becoming fantasy.

Whisper to my heart she speaks,

no words from her lips this wish.

Silky ribbons of passion on her tongue,

embracing the night as she falls.

Dreaming to be what is only inside,

stars of pleasure fill her cup.

A voice in her head showering forever,

in her hands rests the way to his arms.

Spoken by storms of rain breaking in,

he stands in her fantasy of tomorrow.

Laying down below her hair flows to say,

welcome my love in our destiny tonight.







Johnny Newell

Dark

Dark are the days left in her eyes,

lonely is the image of her heart.

No words left to say,

life unfair in these times.

Breaking away from all light,

dark inside of her imagination.

Silence becomes her only friend,

tainted in pain unbearable.

Facing the night in her solitude,

waiting for the end to come home.

She would cy if she had feelings left,

but in this dark she knows nothing.

Set to be who she is inside,

by the stars that gave away their light.

Screaming shadows nestled beneath of her,

cringing agony marked in death.

Tasting forever in this hell,

she wakes up no more.

Destiny haunted by redemption,

imagery desolate and grim.

Eyes of Dark writhed in shame,

making her way to the end.

Nothing left to rediscover,

new lights never shine again.

Torturous love always ending,

dark is her heart, dark are her days.











Johnny Newell

Reaching

Feelings of nothingness surround me,

emptiness fades into sorrow.

No light on my face breaking shadows,

releasing meaningless desires.

My tears are all that I have in my eyes,

no vision to see what is to come.

Falling jaded to love under fire,

seeking only for a sign.

So much sadness inflowing my heart,

sinking deeper into what was left.

Nothing befalling my reasons for living,

knowing only what loneliness brings.

Walls are falling down all around me,

my heart breaks in this silence portrayed.

What have I done to make this my way,

I can’t see a way out of this light.





Johnny Newell

Sleeping

In a time without time my heart is hardened,

no rhyme to speak with riddles unsaid.

Whispering clouds raining laughter tonight,

solely stated memories not yet forgotten.

To hear your smile as the sun rises high,

is like the waters in the ocean glistening.

Each drop accounted for in your rain,

showing me much more than the storm.

Your eyes light up the night sky with desire,

shedding dreams flying low songs of passion.

So many ways to uncover what was hiding,

looking deep into the only eyes I can see.

Your lips hold the honey falling into my mouth,

sweet lovers games playing within.

Kiss me again under waterfalls of lust,

showering lips of magical fire.

In my heaven there is only you,

waiting for your soft voice to say.

Love in the darkness our light burning strong,

close your eyes my dream, I am coming to your arms.







Johnny Newell

Beautiful

Kiss of light holding shadows name inside,

coming together in candlelight so true.

Touching flesh our bodies face the pain,

yearning lust entombed with ecstasy again.

My hands are on your skin so softly tamed,

lips on fear’s forgotten reason for rhyme.

On this lake of passion’s flame calling rain to fall,

your weight on me slowly swaying back and forth.

Slipping slowly penetrating deeply this kiss we fall,

enlightened by pleasure fading away into your eyes.

Moving into your love with each thrust we partake,

lips open slowly, tongues meet again.

Drinking fleshly waters grave becoming erotic streams,

dreaming love under light and shadows calling out for more.

To my soul you are the meaning of beautiful,

beyond my mind’s grasp for understanding.

The way you connect to me much more than life before,

orgasm crying out for our bodies to realize.

Take my hand don’t be afraid of tomorrow never here,

face your fears within my eyes and welcome beauty with me.









Johnny Newell

Together

Breathe on me the life left out so long before my time.

Where devils play the fallen as angels light the fire.

To my heart where mist is my dream,

I only ask that you open your eyes this time.

Feel in my heart the reasons for darkness fading away.

Back when there was only rain in my eyes.

Do you see in my heart the visions you once knew,

or am I only a vessel of life emptied by fate?

Break me away from this realm of false destruction.

Keep me buried alive in your warm embrace of hell.

If there is only one wish to ask for in you,

I wish to be all that you desire one day.

Taste my kiss of fire burning away the fears you once knew.

Sought out to find only what you never wanted to see again.

Love in your heart found in my eyes this time,

forever reminding us of what is never said.

Hear my voice echoing into this life of dreams growing colder each day.

Green trees of autumn rain calling out our names in the darkness.

Inside of my heart is your hand holding on,

to what we are as one, for who we are in love.







Johnny Newell

Pleasure

In a vision we come together tonight,

all thoughts aside to what we now feel.

Seeking to find what pleasure can be,

making love and lust the same light.

Before me she waits in white to my black,

no shade to run to in her arms I am home.

Opening passion to feeling hands we taste,

kisses of pleasurable fictitious pain we hide.

I can feel her eyes upon my body,

as her fingernails dig into my skin.

No sinful notion left to be know,

entangled by ecstasy kneeling before each other.

Lips all over my chest she devours me,

feeling each ripple of love leaking out.

Laying down before me in such a perfect form,

my knees hit the floor, she opens her thighs.

Her eyes are closed to the dream felt within,

smile on her heart, lust in her imagination.

Silk rests against her subtle breasts,

fantasies in her mind, hand on her hips.

Covered in desire my passion reaches out,

to her lips giving pleasure, my kiss saving light.

Darkness sets in as candles light our way,

exploring more than just these dreams we face.

Fingertips arousing life living love between,

beyond my feelings where reality is the dream.

Holding her down while my tongue tastes her warmth,

softly reminding lust to make way for her stream.

In her hands she takes me to a world never seen,

underneath of the stars moaning pleasure beyond.

Roaming touch of feathers bequeathing need,

for more than this closed eye’s vision of pain.

Pull my hair gently speak into my ear,

feel me give out, taste my kiss inside.

She opens her eyes for a moment seeing me vanishing light,

in her shadows my home, in her flesh my pleasure is fulfilled.







Johnny Newell

My Angel's return

In my deepest love she awaits my return,

in her body she feels the coldness within.

No rest for my aching heart without her,

I am feeling the pain burning anguish inside.

She calls my name only when I am nowhere to be seen,

hiding from the very reasons for loving at all.

Each time I cry it is her face that I see,

wanting to end the suffering forced on her tonight.

Holding her head up high she faces the fear,

bestowed upon a heart so fragile and weak.

Unbecoming denial seeking lights burning out,

catching the fallen as my wings carry her home.

On a mountaintop colored in ashes of lost love,

I await the return of peace in her heart.

Listless lies leaving behind tomorrow,

killing this moment dying in today.

Sleeping eyes falling to the depths of love and light,

kissed by hope, touched by reality, brought back to life.









Johnny Newell

Gothic

Alone in her head,

alone is her heart.

Making black the reason,

she can shine in the night.

Bloody wrists of tears,

eyes as dry as rain.

Painful words unspoken,

life undone long ago.

Silence inside of her solitude,

reckoning the end coming near.

Living to die in her own way,

never trying to fit in.

She sings sad songs,

writes poetry in blood.

All of the time she has been here,

nobody could see who she was.

More than a concept of feeling,

her makeup dark like her heart.

Tormented by life so unwavering,

put down to rise up once more.

Inside she is more than perfection,

she cries by the slices on her arms.

So many words never said,

so much pain never seen.

When she smiles there is only desire,

in shadows she waits for her time.

Gothic woman made so beautiful,

for eyes as dark as mine to see.









Johnny Newell

Image

An image too dark to welcome alone,

above the water on the rocks she stands.

Storms approaching life whirling through,

tempest of hopes and dreams fading away.

On the edge of death she cries out in secret,

rain oozing off of her umbrella bleeding love.

Image of desire her heart conveys its song,

plastered in what fears have drifted into view.

Melody answering melancholy in a riddle,

painting words with bloody fingers she smiles.

Racing thoughts betrayed waters rising strong,

waves to disaster caused by the grief now seen.

Staring out into the distance eyes covering light,

shinning down upon her wishes of tomorrow.

Image in her reflection holding true to his name,

crying skies recalling forever in life passed away.

Still she remains under this hurricane of love,

into the water she falls back into the arms of his heart.









Johnny Newell

Plans

So many plans made forgotten in time,

from growing up to how many kids we’d have.

What a change that befalls us in each day,

tears spilt love giving the same.

Remember when it was all but a dream,

the closeness we always knew we’d feel.

It was always about us being who we are,

in painful silences to the passion I our hearts.

You had a list made of things we might do,

never for a moment could we predict the outcome.

When did we get this old, how did this happen,

memories are all that is left of those days.

So much more is this we have now inside,

in my blood I beat my heart just for you.

No list can make my love grow for you,

you are the reasons I learned life at all.

In our passing by this time has made its own,

checking the box for a love lived this way.

Yearning for solitude together we stand,

take my hand, here’s my heart, my love is yours.

Our checklist is complete.







Johnny Newell

Dreams and doorways

Was this all just a dream in finding you there,

so cold and loving in my heart so dead.

Your heartbeat still beats to my song,

drums of life where living isn’t an option.

Grave called you there before my time,

I still cannot just give up on you coming home.

In my heart I dream of two paths to take,

reality cries out loud yet you whisper the dream.

Like a child lost on which way to go,

I search for the way I think you might be.

There is purple roses blending into my eyes,

behind my tears where not even I can cry.

Words of love spoken without warning,

bringing me to my knees again.

In my hands I can taste your essence so true,

vanilla lace twisted in silky fantasies.

Lips of honey speaking erotic pleasures in light,

open the door I beg at the gateway to my fall.

Seeking out to find you here in my arms,

find me in these shadows love left behind.

Please answer me for I am dying to hear your voice,

awake to nothing but this choice of two doors.

Was this my doing, was this my fear that brought my pain,

please light my way, please baby open the doorway to your heart.







Johnny Newell

In the rain

Drops cried by the heavens we lay here,

noticing each feeling felt from above.

Sometimes I wish I could express,

what you still do to me today.

Years have passed by and still I see,

the first time we lay naked in the rain.

So many feelings rushing through us,

as one we come together in the night.

The softest kiss of my passion,

you gave to me a picture to last.

Forever started that night long ago,

looking into your eyes I still see.

The way you said that you loved me,

crying silent tears spoken loudly.

Taking me into your arms as we embraced,

the rain covering our bodies with love.

Take me away to our place in the light,

where even our shadows have a name.

In the rain I promise to love you forever,

in my heart the rain will never stop.







Johnny Newell

A man cries

I feel more alone than ever before,

haste giving way to my death denied.

Each second I take for granted,

tearing apart my heart in your closed eyes.

I see your face in everything,

smiles make me cry, eyes just bring pain.

I have been so lost without your touch,

without you I have no idea how to live.

You could say that I just miss you so much,

as I look at your resting place,

there is no comfort in the sleep forced upon you.

You must be getting tired of me singing to you,

but there are so many songs we haven’t made love to.

Remember when we would play by the river at night?

It was so cold, but somehow those nights are painted vividly.

Sometimes when asleep I reach out for your hand,

at times I actually feel your soft gentle touch.

Do you ever just wait for me to come to bed?

Kind of like I am already there.

There has never been a moment that you are not with me,

I just miss our talks, fuck baby.

I miss everything, most of all I miss my best friend,

baby I miss you, is it okay that I cry?









Johnny Newell

Where dreams play

Here is my heart resting on your hands,

waiting for another passionate embrace.

Held down in your waters to enlightenment,

facing these fears of change to come.

Loving you has never been an issue,

with each moment we share, we are one.

Fading lights cast by dwindling shadows,

making our eyes shine in the night.

Where you hold me again as we feel,

I take your hand into my own.

Walking on distant shores beyond horizons,

making our fate define our love.

You look into my eyes and I feel you,

all that you feel calls my name.

Test me no more without knowing,

ask me what you know to be true.

Bound to live past these waters,

realizing my reality with you.

I see you as you sleep beside of me,

hoping your dreams meet my soul,

waking to make who we are,

where nothing matters but love.







Johnny Newell

Making lust

Looking into your eyes,

I am drawn to you.

Tasting your lips,

giving you pleasure.

Facing my lust,

making you squirm.

Calling out desire,

underneath of the sheets.

Tie me down to your wants,

ravish me again.

Your touch on my body,

eyes locked in heaven.

Becoming your dream,

feeling you beg.

Craving your scent,

let your waters flow.

Rip me apart,

make me cum.

Call me to fantasy,

eroticism cries.

Ecstasy feeling,

silk covered flesh.

Shroud my nudity,

feel me deep inside.

Wake with me dancing,

in love calling lust.







Johnny Newell

Broken and dismissed

When you found me I was already broken,

ripped in too many pieces to count.

Life was empty as this river ran dry,

no way to express anymore my feelings.

Blood kept me going as time passed by,

crying only when emotions were deep.

So it was there when you left me the same,

broken together to taste pain again.

Looking back to yesterday’s hope,

I found that within your arms I had life.

When love could not bear what I had to give,

I was tossed away like nothing and dismissed.

The moon shines brightly tonight over me,

so tranquil yet full of this storm cloud in mind.

Rain blistering sorrow painted by fate,

as my life becomes the reason I die.

Does it matter anyway if you left me how you found me,

if all that was ever meant of me was nothing.

I try to think about it but loneliness calls,

only feelings leading me back to brokenness.

Alone I stand in these shadows one more night,

where love is my curse, one I’d die for again.







Johnny Newell

Sharing dreams

On the brink of obsession my heart falls,

needing to hear only your voice in my soul.

Moments apart like razors on my skin,

slicing away who I am inside.

Aching for more I reach out for you,

hoping you take my hand in my pain.

Facing alone what solitude creates,

to wake up in the only arms I desire.

You see me before you squirming nakedness defiled,

dreaming of flowers burning again.

Taking my body into your arms,

allowing my visions to change.

Comfort befalls me riddled my fear,

questions asked only to face what I love.

Holding me as my dreams fade away,

waking to the only woman I desire.

Under the sheets covered in lust,

kissing these lips making your way.

Knowing only what I have in your heart,

a dream waking me to this reality we share.







Johnny Newell

Dying hope

Seek and find what you cannot know,

meaning to a life destined to end.

No way out of this guileful way,

in love we stand at the gates unseen.

No breath to cry out to ears deaf,

blood stopping heartbeat broken.

Separated in death reaching hope,

factitious dream of something more.

What could be the reason we fight,

when all comes to its end soon enough.

Nothing to dream for in colors unnoticed,

ice breaks away as we sink in despair.

Waking up alone in a world of imagination,

giving light in shadows left behind.

No relief to face us in all its glory gone,

dead to anything ever spoken before.

Hope making this life worth living again,

yet in our dying's we always die alone.







Johnny Newell

Lost in a kiss

From a child to a man I always wondered,

if there was a way to lose myself in a kiss.

Countless storms have encroached on me,

making me face what was only seen as false.

I have seen the smiles on faces many times,

never have I believed in this fantasy.

Love always a joke in my mind,

twisted by the heart to find comfort.

Seasons have changed in ways I don’t understand,

now as I sit here alone I realize how wrong I have been.

No thoughts in my head past these feelings,

underestimated lies of truth coming clear.

In my heart I have come to find love,

loneliness isn’t here even when I am alone.

I take her hand wherever I go,

she is next to me inside of my pain.

Resting aside calamity fading out,

showing me that in her kiss I am lost.

No time permitted behind what is now,

she takes me on a ride my mind cannot embrace.

Holding me closer than the flesh that she lives in,

hands in my hair, lips not letting go.

I feel her eyes upon my closed yet aware,

revealing to me what I was so afraid of before.

Passionate warmth riddled in reality found,

where in a kiss I am more lost than ever.







Johnny Newell

In a dream of love

So gloomy the outcome foreseen,

lost in the eyes of a Goddess.

Purple sun breathing life inside,

black stars shinning so bright.

The air around me tastes of magic,

each gust of illusion melting me.

Tornado of wishes felt upon my face,

like some kind of impenetrable façade.

There is fire so blue it is freezing,

colder this burning imagination blissful.

So hot I am too cold to survive alone,

dancing flames of ice in my eyes.

Earth the color of pink roses touch,

like a dream I am sure I never had.

I walk closely to the surface of life,

where everything isn’t what I have known.

Waters of words forming my thoughts before me,

no depth to find without my visions of fantasy.

Swimming in this reality lost in dark light,

no angel to face these demons buried inside.

All that I knew before is empty,

rainbows only shine when it is dark.

My fictitious life now made to see love,

because it is found beyond my dreams.

Feathers of crystal completing my eyes,

to show me what I can only have with you.







Johnny Newell

Drowning death

Searching for a reason to live,

letting go of holding onto everything.

In a bathtub filled with my blood,

my life paints its story inside.

No love known by this emptiness,

cadaverous dream coming to life.

Tears never falling into my eyes,

no way to be broken anymore.

Giving up on the very thoughts of hope,

sinking into my drowning heart.

Death takes my hand leading me home,

torn apart my reality by broken dreams.

Touched by pain my life ends its own,

heart on the floor beating one last time.

Who was I before I was nothing,

but the image of a way out of love.







Johnny Newell

Never in your dreams

Sometimes I forget how happy I am,

taking a moment to reflect all is clear.

The flowers have their petals of silk,

with you I have beauty in my life.

So much can be made undone,

but with a gentle kiss on the wind I am home.

Your smile reminds me of what love is,

so warm this light given by your hope.

Nothing feels as wonderful as this moment,

where in each others arms all dreams are real.

The perfect look from your eyes as you look my way,

all rain is gone away in this storm of love.

The deeper you stare into my heart,

the more I know for sure what these tears are for.

Your touch is made out of the heaven you believe in,

like Angel’s wings you carry me away.

Hold me in your arms as this night ends again,

wake up next to the man who loves your touch.

In your voice I hear so much love and light,

spoken in the winds of time forgotten.

Taking me away from the pain I used to fear,

sing to me again your love on these winds tonight.

Your love is the water within my soul,

so deep you are in my eyes I cry this dream.

Swim within me my love to a distant realm,

and find in me the forever you never dreamt before.









Johnny Newell

Broken life in love

I am bleeding as my fall comes to its end,

no fear left to face alone as I die.

Covered in the memories of yesterday,

haunted by the ghost of love’s demise.

As I lay here in agony I am caused to see,

what guilt has taken from me in these times.

Lifeless heart abandoned by grief,

crying tears so broken I rest no more.

Wretched soul bleak my outcome nonexistent,

torturous feeling fading far away.

In my sorrow I see nothing but the end,

a hole filled with nothingness and pain.

Waiting by the door my death calls out my name,

reminding me of a time when I mattered.

Silence now my vessel, anguish my only friend,

torn apart to find what rests beneath.

Throat slit too deep to mend my heart again,

my hand holds the blade, my eyes see the sin.

What I might have been stops in what I have become,

bleeding by the brokenness felt so far from love.

Taught by regret my way starts the same,

in darkness I cry, in your light I give my life.







Johnny Newell

Heads or tails

If I were to give you the moon,

would you light my way?

If I could make love last forever,

would you join me ?

If I could give you everything,

would you smile again tonight?

If I could be all that you needed,

would you want me the same?

You light for me this path back home,

you are the moon in my sky.

You join my heart in all ways,

you are my forever.

You smile for me tonight,

allowing me to be everything.

You have needed me the same,

you are all that I need.







Johnny Newell

No light

So emptiness has become my way,

lights of love undone.

No kiss to taste in the night,

nothing to wake to.

Sorrow bleeds my imperfection,

hatred found my name.

Lust burns away from this life,

no life left to live.

I have befallen to this horror,

alone in our room now deafening.

Sought out to truly undo and destroy,

as shades of gray paint my eyes.

In my blindness I see so much more clearly,

reaching heights breaking hearts.

Nothing to hold in my slumber,

no touch to wake up to.

In your heart now I feel nothing,

only this pain I wished for.

Crying to realize who we are,

by giving my life up tonight.

Blood covers my body with you,

speaking of love still I fall.

Resonated voice echoing silence,

where no light can shine on my heart.







Johnny Newell

Show me a sign

Give me a sign,

show me the way.

Face me tonight,

kiss me now.

Torment me with you,

reveal in your touch.

Teach me how to make love,

with you tonight I beg.

In your kiss,

rests my forever.

In your hands,

my heart dies tonight.

In your arms,

I am falling.

In your heart,

I love my home.

In your eyes,

see my love.

In your life,

taste my death.

In your love,

find me broken.

In our oneness,

find each other.









Johnny Newell

We are who we are

Baby, there are just things I need to say.

Like how even when you are so distant,

my heart still feels your love so close.

I knew before ever knowing how much you mean to me,

in your vacant whispers where your love is always known.

Somehow today the sun shines brighter inside,

I love you more right now than any day before.

The way your eyes glare my way when you are upset,

just shows me that you care that much more.

In your touch that squeezes my life away,

I feel the warmth of passion so strong.

And when you walk away I notice,

how beautiful you truly are.

You say nothing to me sometimes and I know,

why you are the way that you are.

It isn’t lack of caring that drives you,

but how much you feel for me.

I knew I loved you before I knew love at all,

each moment we share means so much more to me.

I see you when you wake up and I am there to hold you,

say nothing in my ear if you have nothing left to say.

In your eyes I see just how much I mean to you tonight,

no amount of distance can break that apart.

You hold my heart in your soft and gentle touch,

making me love you in ways I can’t explain.

There is hope for us in these sufferings we endure,

for love is the ability we have been blessed with.

When you cry it is my eyes that water,

feeling what you feel upon my love I sing your name.

As the rage inside of you beckons to come out,

you can see it on my face as the lights fade away.

Someway inside I know that whatever we feel we share,

in love and light, in pain and death, we are who we are.









Johnny Newell

Living proof

She cries at the doorway to eternity,

waiting to find something to believe in.

Each second passes by too quickly now,

tears of agony she waits in deep waters.

Nothing to hold onto in faith,

her heart breaks for what she is losing.

Not enough pain to go around,

she takes it all on herself.

Lump has appeared to take away from her life,

now that she feels this there is only one way.

Where she used to hide in the darkness,

now her life is the only proof we need.

So much to gain by just walking away,

in her heart she stands up one last time.

Breaking apart inside for loved ones to know,

as her weakness becomes too unbearable.

One in a million maybe she will be saved,

as others gave their lives to come this far.

A walk to remember a walk to survive,

these colors of life giving proof to this cause.









Johnny Newell

Something's missing

In my heart I have searched for something to know,

just how deep a kiss can feel or the touch accompanied.

Into my dreams where love is the ghost,

and the look in her eyes intoxicates my being.

I can feel her breath on my neck to greet the day,

finding in this dream a reason to believe.

She touches my hand with such precession,

knowing that there is something we have as one.

Walking these nights alone just to realize,

how her soft skin tortures my every thought.

Unbuttoned by my hands to reveal my pleasure,

found in a whisper she leaves by the door.

In a flower that lives in the winter I see,

beauty beyond what my eyes understand.

Held so close to the flames in her heart,

she straddles my body and kisses me deep.

So many moons have I watched pass by,

to find what was always right here in her arms.

A reason to know what cannot be known,

in her heart I found what I was looking for, passion.











Johnny Newell

Ignored by love

Where has the loveless heart so abated,

taken me to in these hellish quarters.

What I feel now that emptiness,

calls me out into the open.

Three words meaning nothing,

now lost without their sound.

Creation misguided I am blinded,

seeing darkness shinning brightly.

Broken away to be found missing,

twisting my arm no pain to endure.

Next to you I reach into nothing,

needing so badly your voice.

Solace heart crowded endeavors,

leading home my one crying wish.

Now as I wake up I feel the sorrow,

no words from your lips speaking kindness.

Alone I am by your side tonight,

why do you ignore me my love?







Johnny Newell

My Angel's Devil

What was it that pulled you into my life?

Did you feel the change as I still do?

There were only fragments of memories,

held together by something beautiful.

When I look into your eyes I find,

a way to know heaven in dark skies.

Where life and love become the same,

no rain pouring down in our hearts.

In you I have found what I always needed,

unable to ask for what was never there.

Waking up to you by my side I know,

how amazing love can be for even me.

Darkness was a part of my life,

mixing with the light that you are.

Making our way in all things we share,

under the love of one Mother inside.

We have broken the past to become,

tasted the pain to feel this love.

A touch of passion blended by fear,

in who we are now and who we shall be.

I look into your heart and my way is yours,

closing my eyes to find what I cannot see.

A touch you leave on my heart as you sleep,

in these waters of passion flowing deep within.

I taste your lips as I lick my own,

each embrace felt by dreams now ours.

You are the Angel in my heart tonight,

I will always be the devil who completes you.







Johnny Newell

In her eyes, my fall

If you were to see what she could feel,

maybe then would you understand.

How much pain is on the wind,

or how much each tear means to her.

The forest in which she hides,

is always darkened by her fear.

No light able to penetrate her heart,

no life able to sustain itself.

If you listen to the winds therein,

her voice would be quite clear.

Take caution when you approach her,

as her heart speaks in riddles of love.

When you look into her eyes you will see,

the pain she has come to embrace.

I have had her close enough to touch,

it was then she disappeared.

Like waves of passion reaching their shores,

her eyes took away my love.

Somewhere in this forest of dreams,

all nightmares are made to be seen.

With no moonlight to accept her soul,

she always cries out in the depths of hell.

Look again and see her there just waiting,

with eyes of illusion she sees who you are inside.









Johnny Newell

Fallen Love

He was lost in this world of shame. Broken by the reality seen in his eyes. Nothing to bring back what was already taken away, he cried. Emptiness setting into his heart. All meaning for reasons explained calling home. This man of grief set out to destroy what was made to be the end of his life. Struggles were upon him, solitude quite clear. Shadows held onto his heart, as his life slowly drifted from view. Once in his life he wanted to just feel what he could see others have tasted, Love. Angels falling from heaven to reach out for the weak. Everything sorrowful now. That was when she opened his eyes.



On a glass raft in crying waters,

her tears carried him back home.

Songs of desire playing strong,

brightness finding her way.

As they came together he found,

what was so lost in his heart long ago.

Tested by the fears now undone,

realizing what love always was.

Her smile kept him closer than death,

flames of passion yearning lust.

Forged to see who he was,

she gave him what was left of her heart.

So weak was her rhythm inside,

beating for his touch crying man.

Able to find in his eyes,

the reason she fell so far from life.

Her kiss gave to him a way to find,

the way back to her arms where he fell.

Kissed by pain to figure out love,

on this river where they are one.



From the heavens she watched as his life faded away. Against the gods she was ready to reach out for him again. Wings of hope burning away as she fell. There was nothing that could break the fall she was about to face. Looking down to find his light. So dark was his heart, so lost was his way. In all of the pain he had faced, she knew he couldn’t remember. Her fall forsaken to death. Each moment so hard as she died. To his pain she destined to change, with her love she’d make him remember. Loneliness crying from her soul. Emptiness like she was never meant to understand. Now in his eyes she can see why, his love never left her heart.







Johnny Newell

Tears for nothingness

In the shadows my heart remains,

crying for solitude to break,

finding only pain within my eyes.

As the lights inside fade away,

my life is left to become nothing,

all truths crying out my name.

This is lifeless my mind suspends,

bending to forever within,

ending up the reason I wanted to die.

There is nothing in my soul,

that anyone can know,

anguish settles her score.

In my tears this blood can see,

who I could never try to be,

just broken and dying alone.

Crying to the stars to find,

no way back home in her eyes,

where my heart is broken again.

Sorrow builds up to understand,

as love lets go of my hand,

drowning in my tears I fall away.

Desolation becomes my home,

where love was never shown,

I cry one last tear before I die.









Johnny Newell

Sharing lust

Left behind on my lips,

the scent of your lust.

Felt in my hands,

your passionate touch.

Seen in my eyes,

your desire so strong.

Tasted in my pleasure,

your love holding on.

I see you before me in lights of pain,

twisting me to make me bend to your way.

Broken flowers of strenuous foreplay,

where we come together in what candlelight remains.

Kiss me again under the old oak tree,

scream for me in this moonlight hanging on.

Hold me down in your waters of fantasies and games,

I will see you how you want me to always hide my eyes.

Nothing left to break away from this life,

finding a pathway to your arms again.

Vacant shallows tested by fear we let go,

making love in the heat of summer’s kiss.

Choke me softly my reason for torturous love,

bite in me your name buried in my heart.

Feel me explode for who you are tonight,

taste the kiss of lust in my eyes this love we share.







Johnny Newell

Purple bow of love

I am sorry for not being there to open you up tonight,

I know how you love to wear that sexy purple bow.

The ribbon you held for love is the ribbon that hides my gift,

yet from this distance I know that my gift is in your hands.

I keep reaching to the stars and hope to be in your arms,

and as I open my eyes today I just see how wrong I was.

Your voice is in my heart today in ways I can’t explain,

behind your purple wrapping where lust and love combine.

While you wait for me to come home, as you feel alone,

remember to hold your ribbon close, I will surprise you soon.

In a way that leads me home I realize just what I miss the most,

the way you smile at me, the way you hold me close.

I am so lost without your bright eyes leading me to you,

scents of vanilla lace under purple dreams of passion.

Waiting there behind the dream this gift you save for me,

your heart is in my hands, my love is in your arms.

I see your body I feel each tear you cry,

in all the ways you hide I know what loneliness can do.

Somehow I see your light, someway I know you’re smiling,

under your purple bow, waiting for me to come back home.









Johnny Newell