The suicide

As the sun bled upon my face I knew I was alone,

blood scorched by resentment and pain.

Tasting lies through the mind of wickedness,

becoming who I was meant to be.

Alone in the light as shadows pass me by,

asking my name as they laugh and I cry.

Has everything come down to this now I ask,

while my life slips farther away.

I have cum with you and on you,

made love to you after we’d fuck.

Now that I sit here in solitude I wonder,

was I ever truly good enough for you.

No hopes left to ask for I let it go,

as my arm cries your name with my heart.

Broken and dying from wounds I have caused,

to end up what I see in my mirror.

There once was a light yet so blinding,

darkened by my eyes was your fate.

Watch me now as I pull the gun out,

and say goodbye to this world.









Johnny Love

Insatiable you

As we drove around in the air touching so softly,

we came together in what little light I could see on your eyes.

Such a beautiful smile in the very heart I want,

as to touch is to feel, to love is you.

There is a way you say my name in the night,

umbrellas in the rainless skies so lovely,

hinting passion behind the row of flowers created by your hand.

We’d drive around for hours while I tasted your skin,

licking your thighs, tasting your thighs.

How am I supposed to control myself this way,

when everything you do reflects what my words say.

The subtle light before your skin on my kiss,

sliding into you so hard and visible your desire.

Kill my insatiable need for more,

with the only kiss I have left inside.









Johnny Newell

Eyes of behind

I am at a point to where even my truths become their lies,

as I sit here to wait for what never was meant to be.

I cry at the loss of who I could have been,

trying so hard to see her face.

She sings to me songs that are country,

whispers the rain blessed by snow.

Holds my heart in her desire,

but truthfully doesn’t think I know.

I carry her picture around inside,

where only I can see its true light.

Destined to understand dishonor,

I am found by love in her eyes.









Johnny Newell

Sunken painful nights

There a pain inside my heart screaming death,

for that would more than this hell I know no.

Sleepless dreams too lucid to explain,

feel as though my word is crashing down,

I am a mother before anything,

yet the loneliness kill me under my tears.

Nobody can even squeeze the surface in which I live.

I give up time and again to just breathe here alone,

while I just ask for who wants the next pour,

crying another mans beer just to hard to fight away.

Falling to my knees as nobody can see,

just a painful day in the life of a bartender…..









Johnny Newell

Reflection man

Am I truly who I see in the mirror,

or am I the image he sees looking back?

Always living in the past I see clearly,

or looking to the future unable to see.

How am I ever to stop and smell the roses,

if I am so lost in the memories.

How can I let go of what I was,

if I never take a look at who I am.

I see images of ghosts in windows as I walk,

sadness hits me hard as I wonder about life.

Maybe I am the ghost walking these streets,

trying to get a grasp on what I am inside.

I have taken for granted what it is about living,

how beautiful things are to my eyes as I cry.

No sorrow enough to erase what I have done,

no grave able to hold me close as I rest.

Reflection hits me as the waters stop flowing,

destined to be I am able to stand.

Taking in all of the hurt I have caused,

only to cry in solitude weeping in my hands.

So much to live for now that I am dead,

feelings of tomorrow halting my yesterday.

I just want to see the mirror of my love,

where I mattered somehow before I understood.

Taking the hand of the lonely now at peace,

reflection beset upon the hearts of the few.

Holding up my head in my shame,

image of who I can be haunting lights.

I stop for a moment to look at right now,

all tears are gone, life is beautiful.

Letting go of what I may have been,

to see this reflection of love in my heart.

In my eyes there is much more to be revealed,

showing the truth of what passion is to me now.

As I walk down to be up in the light,

my mirror reflects my love, my hope, my life.

Johnny Newell

Life within love and death

You have sang to me your pain,

I only wish I could soothe,

as light becomes my eyes,

you will see the darkness within me.



I love the voice as you cry,

tears of desire for me,

kiss me tonight under love,

while facing the end in me,

I am yours.



Now that I live I am dying,

nothing but you to feed my need,

kissed by death life becoming,

what am I now in the light,

if I am without you.



You speak my heart,

you know my name,

you see my eyes,

in my lies I am dead,

in you I am alive.







Johnny Newell

Tasting enticement

Taste my kiss of desire,

feel my longing for more.

See in my hands your pleasure,

I will never let you down.

Looking into you I know this,

all that I crave is your wine.

Now in my arms I am taken,

by the dreams that once were forbidden.

Your breasts on my lips,

your hands on my heart.

Your lust craving for me,

as all else fades away.

I see you,

I want you,

I more than need you.

Why cannot you see who I am?

I wait here in darkness bleeding shadows,

to taste the kiss of your soul.





Johnny Newell

My arms of love

I wait here in the rain for you,

do you know my name anymore?

I seek to please your desires,

am I anything more to your heart?

I bleed to write your name on my eyes,

is there anything more I can do?

To show you that my love is your life,

if only you could still see my face.



Desperately seeking loneliness,

huddled in shadows reigning life.

Your heart breaks before me,

but not by my hand.

Now that I sit here in darkness,

you ignore my like I am the plague.

Time will come for you to remember,

question is, do you even care?



Blades of metal break my skin,

blood rushes out proving pain.

No tears left to cry I am empty,

yet still you smile and don’t care.

What have I done to receive this,

what is this reason for solitude?

I cry you heart bleeding roses,

to face my arms where love walked away.









Johnny Newell

Heart in her eyes

On the pillow next to her head,

rests a flower he’d given,

dipped in love so she’d know,

softly her dreams become life.



Clear night without reason,

rain pours onto his eyes,

as all that he was becomes,

a fairytale made in her eyes.



Knock on her door so late,

startled she stumbles to answer,

as she falls to the ground,

her heart is broken by fate.



So close to home yet for reasons,

clearly unseen blinding hope,

where his eyes became,

that which he could not see.



Hand on the doorknob she cries,

hoping that this was all a bad dream,

but as she identified his body,

she could only know him by his heart.







Johnny Newell

Secret lies

Rain covers the eyes of my heart now opened,

by the softest touch felt inside I cannot breathe.

Nothing here to take away what I have for you,

warm embrace covered by this storm.

I have a secret that I have been keeping,

one that would destroy who I am.

When I look to the stars it is you I see,

like a river of light coming home.

The is always this scent I am needing,

of your tongue pressed on my neck.

All the things I lie about today,

are the deepest secrets I can keep.

The way the water glistens from your flesh,

makes me scream so silently your name.

I wait for you to see who I am,

but in your presence I don’t know how to speak.

I feel the winds carrying your aroma,

tempting me with desires so true.

I can almost feel your hands on my body,

as your lips meet mine in the night.

The secret I have is that I love you,

in my eyes you are all that I see.

Love made from dreams reality cries,

here is my secret, that is not a lie.









Johnny Newell

Contemplation lust

Sunlight so bright my eyes blinded within,

within my heart where fools fall I wait,

wait for the air to paint my soul inside,

inside where only devils know my name.



In the arms of love I rest,

hands on my neck, head on my chest.

Breathing with me as night steals the day,

dreaming ecstasy reaching into what our love can say.



I am nothing now,

just lost in what we once were,

everything in love.



I can hear the heartbeat of vampires,

tasting my blood cried out for truth.

Sinking teeth into my veins I desire,

nothing more to want, nothing left to prove.



Kiss me as the moons shines her light,

fall away with me, find passion in my eyes.

Open your legs feel me thrust slowly inside,

face this lust as we play this love tonight.



Lips of honey flowing rivers touch.

Touch me with who you are for me.

Me beneath of you taking deep breaths.

Breaths of passion filling up our hearts again.



I will be waiting here,

expecting your sensuality.

Fearing the morning,

making this union our night.



Taste my rivers like raindrops of sin,

orgasmic light in what we were made for.

I am yours to embrace these shadows of pain,

torture me with your fingers up and down my spine.







Johnny Newell

In perfect love we stand

She sings in colors of purple light my smile,

as my heart quickens to face her touch.

In her hands is my heart asking for nothing,

making all that I ever desired complete.

She has a smile that melts my soul,

passion that craves my own.

Her eyes are just so beautiful,

perfection has a name.

Featherlike fingers brushing away my pain,

in the rain she is always my comfort.

Life has never been what I feel with her,

she rescues me from myself when I can’t stand.

All that is in her makes in me what I now believe,

for in her love is my life and a perfect life this is.







Johnny Newell

Love is an Angel in black

Appear before my eyes I asked,

as love became the Angel in my heart.

She rests in my arms as I sleep,

holding me without a hint of fear.

Before there was meaning, there was her,

dressed in black my nightmares recall.

Having a dream as our reality fell,

with all night we stand as one.

I still hear her whisper the love,

while my eyes close she visits me.

Taking away the need for desire,

as pleasure rests on her lips of night.

Kiss me deeply, teach me how to ravish you,

twist my arms to find what pain can be.

Desire my touch as our dreams come together,

as a waterfall of passion taste my lips.

Singing to me again to put me to sleep,

my Angel of Love fade with me to black.











Johnny Newell

Jaded lovers

So far away yet I feel you,

so close to me as I breathe.

The way you speak to me endlessly,

as waters come to an end.

Your name means more to me now,

when the shadows say I love you.

Light has a way with your eyes,

spreading across my heart.

Touching the very reasons we dance,

hours apart yet closer than before.

There is a softness in your smile,

captivating me in all that you are.

Tasting the wine on your kiss,

sent from a distance my love.

Jaded before ever knowing,

facing together the light we create.

Undone song of desires reaching out,

to be love, to find love, to know we are one.







Johnny Newell

Loved by her I plea

I have waited for just a sign,

a name to say by her light.

Found in water do I pray,

without words left to say.

To love as she did I please ask,

falling into what now is last.

Facing my demons do I cry,

as she walks away from my eyes.



I love you even if you can’t see,

in my heart there is only your name.

I wait for your soul to know,

how much I love you this day.

I am too afraid to shed these tears,

not knowing what you might think of me.



I have held you once and I see you name,

tattooed on my eyes your face.

Covered up as I bleed this night,

making the moon my way out.

I love you but you will not see,

how much you mean to me now.



What I am is more than lost,

as my tears fall to this night.

Now I speak as I cry,

to know what I was before.

But in my silence I know,

I was never anything to your heart, you lied….









Johnny Newell

Alone in love I die

Still recalling the way you’d speak my heart,

under all light where my darkness became whole.

Bleeding this deformed soul my tears speak,

as love becomes the very reason I want to die.

You looked at me once like I was something,

now not even a memory to your mind my pain.

I knew not what love was until you showed me,

how to grasp the feelings as life makes her way.

Heaven is closed to me, hell won’t take my calls,

just this image of destiny crying inside.

No amount of tears to wash away my lies,

bloody arms of life begging for death.

I am nothing to you, nothing to even say,

and as I slice my wrists I realize I’m not loved.











Johnny Newell

Forever in my nightmares

Your name means more to me than life,

remember when I was good enough to love?

The way you’d say my name,

how gentle your touch was to my soul.

I recall the talks we’d have in the night,

as subtle light became our way together.

Now I stand alone in fear of what’d I’d become,

without you in my arms waiting to die alone.

I seek nothing but the very scent on your breasts,

like jasmine reaching out into my heart.

The kisses you’d give me as I slept,

still haunt my dreams as I lay here.

How deep your touch would go when I was down,

lifting me back up to your eyes.

I miss you like I need the very breath in my pain,

to suffer without you is like needles in my arm.

Do you even remember my name?

Is there anyway you look to the same stars?

I love you, I need you, I want you more than you know,

but as I look upon these pictures, I know I lost you forever.







Johnny Newell

In a heart is forever

In love they stood together in all ways,
always becoming the meaning of life.
Under the night where love was made,
she would say to him that all was perfect.
There was a star named after her in his heart,
blessed by the very dreams he used to dream.
Water thickens in his hands tasting her lips,
kissed by the death he always wanted to know.
In her eyes the were shades of gray covering light,
trickled with blood as life became their way.
Her heart has more inside than anything h’s known,
merry meet under new moonlight where ghosts play.
She’d speak to him in ways only the devils could reveal,
a way with her tongue, a way with the very touch that is her.
His heart is now and always will be hers to hold,
under the water she controls, under his eyes.
She shines her love in her kiss so deep and futile to his life,
tempting everything he once thought was make-believe.
A tribute to love in her arms while he wakes up again,
knowing only how life was before he woke up in her arms.





Johnny Newell

Shadows on her grave

I waited for her there in the moonlight,

reaching into the very meaning of emptiness.

Eyes of blood crying tears of desire,

set aside for this moment to taste my end.

Nothingness façade of my heart denied,

breaking free of this need for her touch.

Sorrowful man of brokenness I stand,

unable to touch the sweetest kiss.

In the skies there is blood reaching out for me,

asked by death to understand what love truly is.

As I close my eyes to imagine what she smelled like,

I realize just how far I have fallen from her.

Her hear paints my sky with purple love so deep,

in waterfalls chased by dragons I know not who I am.

Night falling to the reason of life as she died,

no flowers on her grave just the man who loves her.

Singing to her the songs we used to dance to,

candlelight making my shadows appear by her name.







Johnny Newell

Hint of darkness my light

I have faded away into the nothing before light,

trying so immensely to grasp this way.

Shadows fall into my eyes as I cry,

no heaven to find when beside of myself.

Looking back into the forever I sought,

there is one touch that still knows my heart.

A love that surpasses the depth of my pain,

raining on love this desire fades away.

No amount of love to kiss as I die,

reaching for emptiness my loneliness calls.

Kill me again as waters end in black,

clouds of destiny making my eternity true.

Where are you my love, who am I to you?

Why are you silent in my cries I cy for you?

I seem to fade yet in your arms I am free,

to face who I am, to be what I am supposed to be.

Opened eyes of darkness seeing only the light die away,

as love becomes the hatred I now beg for in my dreams.

Nothing here with me, alone is all that I am,

to die, to love, to see, but not this night I pray.







Johnny Newell

Smile your kiss again

Tasting the darkness within your kiss,

as hell becomes my heaven to all things.

Your smile tells me to stop,

your moaning makes me go.

Forced by the depth of life in love,

where lust becomes the reason I suffer.

The look in your eyes tells me more,

licking your lips as I taste your breast.

Finding new light in the sheets we devise,

making sweet passion more than this love.

Feel in my heart the reason I fade into night,

face the demons with me, don’t let me go.

Sorrowful hint of despair making clear,

this need for who I am with your touch.

If I fall away will you fall with me?

If I die tonight will you hold my hand?

Seeking only to fear the time without you,

chasing dragons I beg you to kiss me again.







Johnny Newell

Become my sin

I have fallen away to feel you,

the way the sun touches your eyes.

Breathing hope to taste failure,

becoming my only demise.

All that is in me speaks your name,

finding the passion inside of pain.

I know your scent on my lips so pure,

falling down into a lifetime of rain.

As my heart breaks away from life I know,

only then am I able to breathe.

Sought out to face the end,

for what you have now in me.

I cannot cry without your whispers,

nothing but silence killing me again.

No love to find while apart,

nothing worthy to capture my sin.

Look into my eyes and feel who I am,

underneath of hell your heaven.

Kiss me tonight and know my heart,

is nothing without your arms to hold my own.







Johnny Newell

Passion of my heart your shadow

You have seen me touch myself in erotic pleasures,

as the light of love enticed the need for more.

I have licked your lips to taste heaven,

as hell became my reason for life.

Burning me apart when all else failed,

in arms of passion your need is mine.

Your scent echoes through my hallows,

hair flowing into my dreams.

Tasting forever in failure composed,

in songs I sing in your thighs we embrace.

Subtle breast calling me home,

into arms of pain my intimacy cries.

Solitude arms of desire I seek,

in hands of destiny I am able to let go.

Lick me again you speak in my ear,

as my tongue impresses even you.

Suck on me what you can fulfill,

when light in you becomes my hearts shadow.







Johnny Newell

Need for your pain

I cry because you will not speak my name,

I die when you ignore me today.

I whisper so I do not disturb you,

I wait for you tonight my love.

You know your name is my solace,

you see I am still your own.

The very way you control me,

is why I am now so alone.

Why must this be the way it is,

who are you if not my love?

I love you before I am living,

I need you like I need the air.

Waiting I do to hear your voice,

again as the night steals the day.

My hands are ready to take you,

my heart is willing to die.







Johnny Newell

Rising heart of fall

I have tried to be the forever in your heart,

washed away by the very water that holds me.

Flowing sadly into fruition my soul divides,

awaiting for just a sign that you’re still here.

Chest opened up to reveal the darkness within,

reminded by the sunlight how far I have fallen.

Subtle words from lips of honey I devise,

reaching into your arms to live life as one.

I see the shades of shadows cold as ice before me,

taking my heart from light to be the evil inside.

Your hands have held me closer than my own,

comforting the pain that always leads me away.

In love or out of love I stand before you now,

hoping that in my devilry you still find me beautiful.

Hears in hands and hands on hearts we come together,

placed beneath of the waves, controlled by this water’s lover.

Eyes of night convey to me reasons for my fall,

explanations to why I ever needed to dance alone.

Singing songs of passion’s flame my eyes are open to you,

as in my light your love becomes the need I rise again.







Johnny Newell

Love is a deathly waterfall

What am I supposed to feel?

Who am I without your touch?

There isn’t a light for me to see,

if your moonlight is hiding from me.

In your arms I knew I was home,

now I am lost without a way back.

Trusting fool this Pisces remains,

alone in a world without love.

Flowers have no beauty to my eyes,

black roses with thorns of hellish fire.

Trying so hard to understand why,

why you’d leave me broken again.

What was I ever to you but a vapor?

Di you ever truly love me for me?

Seeing your eyes roll back inside of your dreams,

unleashing the nightmares I always despised.

I gave you my heart and you killed it,

showed you my love and you walked away.

Nothing left to find in this hour,

I sleep alone in waterfalls of death.





Johnny Newell

Forgotten man of love

I don’t know why I cry,

for you already walked away.

I don’t see why I stand alone,

when you already made this clear.

I don’t understand what I have done,

but your mind is made up.

I don’t want you to forget me,

yet in your silence my heart is dead.

Your words to me about love speak clearly,

but something inside of me cries.

The way you’d say my name,

gives me dreams to believe in.

How softly you would hold me,

paints the memories I wish to forget.

You would never remember my name,

a in you I am nothing now.

You would always say my name,

but now I am forgotten inside.

Reach for me again I beg of you,

but nothing do I feel but pain.

Seek me in this night I ask,

for only sorrowful tears do I cry.

What have I done to earn this,

I ask only to save my tears.

Now that I feel alone in your sight,

my eyes ask only to be remembered.





Johnny Newell

Nicole

Behind your smiles are the tears I wish to consume,

spoken within each single moment your heart.

Eyes of a Goddess your temptation calls me,

showing me deeper moments alive in song.

Taken from the heavens your body controls,

holding in me a reason to believe in love.

Such a fragile soul mingling desire’s need,

I want you in ways I dare not write in this.

Your kiss haunts me, your touch burns me apart,

knowing nothing but how I am in love with you.

Show me a feeling and I will paint for you the words,

kneeling down in awe I am lost deep within your eyes.

Say no words to me that I cannot repeat back in love,

remember my name Nicole for I am yours tonight.







Johnny Newell

Our night sings

She waits for me by the moonlit sky,

passion flows from her lips.

Tasting her kiss of light,

takes me to a world I desire.

Soft winds carry her scent to me,

arousing the need for more.

I call for her to take me inside,

softly penetrating her with love.

On my mind and in my heart,

her face echoes through my soul.

Thrust after thrust my body falls,

deeper inside with songs of the night.

Held down by desire my fiery eyes let go,

nails in my back, tongue on my neck.

She sings to me without words,

played with this music we create.

Never going back to what I was before,

in her arms my life has new meaning.

Naked flesh upon naked skin divine,

killing the need for what I have in her.

Clouds of pleasure fall as we come together,

making this night more beautiful than before.







Johnny Newell

Heaven in her eyes

Like a child breathing air for the first time,

she wears her smile for the world to see.

Eyes of passionate embrace touching light,

making a way for the love she finds in heaven.

Softly her heart beats to sounds of perfection,

hinted in meaning her subtlety becomes.

I see the childlike essence in her eyes,

angels of light and love coming into view.

Such a gentle heart she bares to the world,

showing who she is deep inside of life.

Something in her hands resembling my heart,

cradled by her soft love of heaven and flames.

Burning my reasons away as I stare into her,

showing what I am now in her presence.

Flowers bloom into the light she creates,

such is love, such is life, such a heaven in her eyes.









Johnny Newell

Falling winter skies

Touched by the falling of light breathing stars,

molding life to find its doom.

Faced in the hours of darkness,

seeking to find what’s already there.

Slowly her body caresses the water,

unscathed by her own need for love.

Soaking inside her light carries on,

for all life is dead in her pools of hope.

Black hair draped in eyes as strong as night,

she sees nothing but the end of her fall.

Leaves of autumn dance around her heart,

making room for the next song to play.









Johnny Newell

Untamed heart

Unlike most I was created incomplete,

darkness in the place of my heart.

Never able to feel as my life became,

always in the way, always evil within.

My journey had taken me to hell,

no life worthy of calling life at all.

Trudging through grief my world had fallen,

mistaken for love my eyes were only blind.

Tears were not something I could show,

blood flowed down my face as the rain began.

I was nothing before but this hole left alone,

sorrowful image in the mirror crying black.

I had searched this world for the beauty,

yet in all that was in me was corrupted by pain.

Seeing only the shadows of what love might be,

my soul became weak as life moved around.

Alone in this night one’s touch reached inside,

making me find what I was always looking for.

With a twist of light permeated by regret,

her hands took ahold of who I was.

Completing in me the reason for life,

a love she’d given me even though I didn’t deserve it.

I see her face in the flowers all around me,

no painful moments except when we are apart.

Stars shine brightly my eyes giving way,

to fill me up inside with something I don’t understand.

She kisses me deeply her lips breaking life,

showing who I truly am in the mirror my heart.

Loveless soul broken without a need in the world,

now just her love, for this boy from that girl.







Johnny Newell

Light in my eyes

There is a light on in my heart for you,

pulling at the distance of life and love.

Becoming is this reverence and pain,

taking away the scent of fear left behind.

Walk away from the taste of yesterday,

stand in the light of this love today.

Hoping to face what is beyond your eyes,

with a look of desire cuddled in warmth.

Knowing your touch bringing me in,

asking for night to stay another minute.

Expecting the fall as your heartbeat slows,

feeling your love without a moment to lose.

Flickering candle of passion your soul,

crying on the wings of beauty my tears.

I hear each breath you make as you sleep,

protecting the only heart I can feel.

Make me the reason you’d never want to fall,

take the light out of my eyes, I’d give it to you.







Johnny Newell

Heart of night

Something in your smile still gets to me,

even though I only see you from afar.

The scent you left on my heart I crave,

with each secret kiss you sneak.

The way the light hits your eyes in the night,

or how the wind gently arouses your hair.

So many moments I see in your touch,

so much to love even still.

In your kiss so sweet my heart fades,

beating to dreams as reality calls.

Hiding beneath of the water tonight,

expecting for your silhouette to cross me.

I love you in the moonlight,

I need you as the sun shines our way.

I want you as worlds collide,

I desire you when all else is gone.

Your face is my angel of fire,

so soft are your lips my wine.

Your love is more than forever,

mine was painted in the stars for you.

Break me apart from these treasures,

seek me tonight where we’d play.

In the night where our nakedness awakens,

my heart will always hold your name.







Johnny Newell

My brightness is you

There is just something so beautiful about your smile,

I am taken away to a world made in dreams.

The softest touch arouses my complete desires,

as your kiss melts my heart into water.

When I think about you I am listless,

stuck in your eyes this dream of love.

In a trance you captivate me wholly,

there is nothing in this world but you.

Your scent catches me every time,

making it hard for me to even breathe.

To understand the love you give is my life,

laying beside you I am the spoon that you crave.

Something lighter in my darkness you complete me,

making hand in hand just what it means.

As a fish to water you are my heartbeat,

blessing me with perfection this love.

In all ways imaginable I am yours to control,

even though you never ask anything of me.

I love you with each breath I steal,

molded by love our hearts beat the same.







Johnny Newell

Invisible

In thinking I knew what love was, I was wrong.

So much pain in believing I mattered at all.

Now that I see myself in the mirror,

I know I am destined to die alone.

The sky seems to be only dark,

my tears are of the blood I shed.

If I love someone it is only one-sided,

guess that is what love is anyway.

In my heart I break for who I cherish,

and she doesn’t even know I exist.

Trying too hard to show what I feel,

making a fool out of the fool in me.

Does it even matter that I care,

or am I just a face in the crowd?

This means nothing for me now being forgotten,

for in my eyes I am already dead to her.

I see her face in the sky as I weep,

and her voice echoes through my head.

Maybe this is what was meant to be in her life,

or maybe I am just too ugly of a soul to love back.

To be ignored is more like being dead anyway,

but now I know she will never see my heart.









Johnny Newell

The wanderer

A wanderer traverses through time,
looking for what is already there.
There is a difference when one finds its origin,
you can’t find love if you don’t open yourself for pain.
This person goes to lengths I would not dare,
to prove to themselves love doesn’t exist.
Punch after punch to make what they see,
when did love become so selfish anyway?
This person gave and gave more through pain,
knowing there would be only sorrow.
Opened chest to reveal a true heart,
only to be broken in the name of love.
Still passion flows through the veins of this soul,
even though torture is brought on in spades.
Lying to only their self to save face,
as tears do fall, they fall hard when alone.
I have said “cry me a river of blood and in my heart you’ll have a home’,
I just never wanted to be right for myself.
The shaking sets in and all’s left is remorse,
laying alone with only shadows to blame.
The hardest part of this tale is too close for comfort,
because this tale is all about me.




Johnny Newell

Desire and flames

Like a flame burning for air to consume,

my will gives way to this yearning.

Light shines on your face revealing,

making in me this desire for more.

Insatiable twisting your body craves,

my touch in the shadows undone.

Looking into your eyes is my heaven,

where angels fall to the fires within.

Kisses like honey everlasting torment,

burning my soul to save this moment.

Your touch brings out my passionate dreams,

sleeping restlessly your heart bleeds my need.

Whispering softly words without words,

melting in me this candle’s flame.

No star in the sky holds anything to you,

beautiful romance tempted with flames.

Desire holds my hand in your arms I am alive,

dying for just another kiss from your grave.







Johnny Newell

Silhouetted

What was in his tears she’d wonder,

as the skies rained down on her eyes.

How can he be so enduring these times,

when all else appeared to drift away.

In her heart was room set apart for him,

she just couldn’t seem to place who he was.

The way his eyes penetrated deep within her,

as his stares made all time stand still.

She could smile to hide the tears she’d release,

but in her mind all was unclear.

What she has forgotten in his touch,

is what she is striving to see.

He looks upon her with love tickling desire,

passion flows from his lips loving kiss.

All that she cannot remember,

in pictures where they are one love.

Secret hears falling apart she weeps,

for this emptiness she doesn’t recall.

Standing by her side he never gives up,

to allow the memories take their course.

A tear rests on her pillow tonight,

where her head would make peace at war.

Silhouetted on the bed is her body,

this man finds he’s really alone.









Johnny Newell

Pictured

I was waiting to imagine myself in love,

and as time passed by I realized nothing.

Desperately falling into the shadows,

resting on wings of the eagles defiled.

Heartless man on the brink of death,

crying out for nobody to hear.

My fingers are numb in this essence of love,

feeling each breath taken by painful light.

No warm smiles to keep me close,

just this reflection of how I am pictured.

No tears can fall past my withered eyes,

hint of blue becoming the blackness inside.

Shrouded by regretful losses coming back,

tearing me apart from the inside of my guilt.

Nevertheless my portrait hangs on my soul,

reaching out for just another moment to hold.

She stands before me in a light of blinding shadows,

taking my hand to lead me beyond the shame.

Candlelight burning softly my nightmares name,

picturing a tale of love in this hell I await.









Johnny Newell

Gothic eyes

Who has cried the tears I have felt,

if all is lost how can I be forgotten?

Colors so cold freezing my way,

drowning my soul in this agony.

Reaching for a sign of love within me,

tears of black cover my eyes with sorrow.

As my hands become weak in my mire,

all dreams fade into the night.

Sacraments of death cringe at my name,

painted by false hopes of a life already gone.

Swimming away into destiny as I die,

holding nothing but her waters love.

Fear has taken me to a place I cannot find,

alone in what now I see as my darkness.

I cry for this moment to end as I break,

to pieces my heart crying tears of pain.

Images of fiery eyes bleeding away my touch,

no reminders of what never was anyway.

Tips of black my nails scratch into my tomorrow,

crying my soul, dying my heart, breaking apart my eyes.









Johnny Newell

Tears and dreams

If I had a heart to break I would be broken,

but as each day makes way for the night I fall.

Silent eyes crying for a world that doesn’t exist,

showering my hands with the blood I have spilt.

Trying to make the words out deafening my ears,

uttering forever in what is left of my life.

Allowing despair to take my heart away long ago,

choosing to become this figment of your imagination.

Blood pours out from the ages of light now cold,

remembering a kiss I never got to feel.

Deceived in a world without meaning for love,

no fear left to succumb to in my pain.

Stars still shine brighter than before,

but in my eyes the tears consume my dreams.







Johnny Newell

Johnny with love

I have a name,

but it doesn’t matter.

I hold a heart,

yet still I bleed.

I am a man of sorrows,

and it is behind my smile.

I am who I am,

to blend into death.

So many smiles I have pretended to show,

inside of my dreams I am able to feel.

No words spoken in my heart crying eyes,

raining on my soul this emptiness.

Love has a way of finding me still,

even though I run still I am weak.

Arms open wide for her to reach deep within,

becoming the image of shadows on my face.

I have a name,

I am Johnny.

I hold her heart,

bleeding with mine.

I am friends with sorrow,

who rarely shows a smile.

I am who I am,

blending with my love.





Johnny Newell

A vampire cries

There is nothing left in living,

the passion for love is lost.

Only attributes of eternity,

in this forever I waste away.

The wine of her lips still lingers,

as a kiss of pleasure in my eyes.

Agony tortures surrender,

blood covers my past in the light.

On my knees I beg please accept me,

nothing becoming the fate of my soul.

So little left to discover in my heart,

where no beat resides in my life.

Undead my path has fallen to emptiness,

no tears can I cry in the night.

As I try my needing for love,

only pain does my way desire.

Moon of destiny holds my hand,

leading me ways to reveal.

No point in living this forever alone,

if my love cannot take me back home.







Johnny Newell

Voices

Seemingly broken hearts of fall,

nestled between songs of hope.

Tenacious denial voices approach,

ways to become meaningful love.

Missing truthful ways to beguile,

ravishing lust within her lips.

Speaking out in fantasies uprooted,

feeling passion on her voice my wind.

Temptation calls out my heart to devise,

resembled in pain my soul cries.

Voices on her eyes bleeding tomorrow,

faced by demons unveiled by despair.

Unseen ghost hovering beneath,

grave of sorrow fighting off the shame.

Pictures in my voices seemingly cold again,

waiting for a moment to understand.

Reaching out to hear just one more I love you,

storms fall apart from her voice as my end finds me.







Johnny Newell

Silence dreaming ends

After all silence speaks the loudest,

reached by depths shallow grave.

Grievously dreamt imagination,

melting to freezing life thus far.

Hollow heart sought in black,

reflection distilled her touch.

Blurred by light dizzy contractions,

spinning up to fade into the night.

Screams vigorously trying vacant,

untouched fingers smoothly portray.

Kiss of love torn between hatred,

man of sorrow filled with grief.

Eyes in lust forgotten within,

fantasy making light of his soul.

Tied down in her waters he stands,

moon shinning brightly her way.

Fiery tomb now forsaken,

burning all the air he breathes.

Lost cause undone being done,

no way to swim this air so thick.

Falling upward towards extinction,

killed by a kiss without lips to feel.







Johnny Newell

Dreaming rain

Soaked up in the faces I see before me,

sorrow painting love with poisonous regret.

Water consumes my soul as whispers in the rain,

calling back into light the darkness I became.

No silence left to hear in my heart broken and cold,

caused by fear my world has fallen away from me.

Walking alone chasing shadows of what I was,

old oak tree perished within my dreams.

Feeling more alive while sleeping my pain away,

retribution recoiled by who I cannot see.

Laying face down in my home of light denied,

only then is blindness truly felt in my heart.

Glistened by sweat my body comes to be this,

on my knees in fate my life is ripped apart.

No sounds making the music I cherished long before,

back when time was nothing but a clock on the wall.

I see visions and make dreams what I desire,

yet in my solitude I am faced by only my reflection.

Nobody can seem to hear me crying tonight,

so I weep these tears on the rain blessed in your sky.









Johnny Newell

Forgotten lies

Rain quenching desires of old,

resonating eyes of summer before.

Kindling reminiscing love of hope,

painting light so fragile.

Finally held under water to see,

breathing death on the lips of life.

Making sense into nonsense this dream,

visionary lust made to taste the blindness.

Heartbreak reaching out for my mind,

explanation cold in the heat of hellish light.

Dust to ashes sprouting youth breaking free,

skies of painful memories burning inside.

No moment forgotten remembering my end,

death to live this way for eternity lost.

Quenched by hydration seeping into fate,

destiny lets go of tomorrow today.

Nothingness nonetheless forging through,

called by redeemers who forgot their own sin.

Cursed by a burning cross holding my name,

released by the holy hope of mischievous lies.

Taken down to recall the depth in which I suffered,

in all light where love was is no more.







Johnny Newell

My Angel's song

Lyrics flow into my heart,

yet I cannot seem to sing.

The way you used to listen,

or the depth in which you’d smile.

I sit here alone in the water,

trying to find my way.

So shallow my heart is now,

treading this life alone.

I hear the music lifting,

voices don’t utter my pain.

Cold now my life is becoming,

trying to see your face.

For countless hours we’d walk,

finding our meaning in love.

Now the heavens have fallen,

I can’t find my Angel tonight.

Whispering emotions bleeding,

tears of crystal my fall.

Killing painful memories,

with each song I try to sing.

Fortitude stands surrender,

seeking out patience again.

Sing for me your beauty,

in my Angel’s song of love.







Johnny Newell

Tonight my love forever

There have been dreams to imagine,

life to take for granted,

hopes to see through.

In a time where love is everything,

truth becomes the reason,

mixing into beauty with you.

So many nights I have wandered,

to find a way to feel,

my soul cries out one name.

In your eyes there is always a look,

showing me my heart,

taking pleasure in you.

At night I hide my meaning for this,

to hold you close again,

taking your hand in mine.

As love and lust blend into our forever,

pain and pleasure cease,

making this true passion.

So many ways to kiss you,

lips unlocked this time,

facing life as one.

To the stars where my heart is lost,

you find me in your water,

wet and divine this touch.

Holding you so close to feel your breath,

let loose your love again,

I am ready to fall away.

Now and forever your heart I’ll keep,

reminding me of this,

kissed by love your kiss.







Johnny Newell

From here I go

I have felt the love of the ages,

on my fingertips knew true lust.

Fallen away from forever,

and kissed passion with love.

I have seen the reflection of pain,

forging my heart deeper light.

Knew what it was to be wanted,

understood why I had to fall.

I have become who I am just to know,

why one has to hurt to see.

Faced my demons with fire,

been brought to my knees in agony.

In these waters of forever,

there have been things I can’t explain.

Making my way to discover,

what death and life see in me.

There was always a reason for this time,

each passing moon speaking clear.

Torn apart by dreams of tomorrow,

waking up alone in my bed.

I have found many ways to be free,

yet my memories haunt my heart.

Forsaken by friends lest my sorrow,

takes me home again tonight.

I have never known what this meant,

how life can change in a day.

From here I go to live out my love,

in the only arms able to hold on.







Johnny Newell

Touch

So perfect the sky in your eyes,

I see the light in which life was made.

Torn down to become this before me,

heaven’s touch on your fingertips.

Slowly your arms envelope my being,

taking me to places never seen.

Warm heart of love to befall my way,

slipping deeper into your touch.

Making this night too discerning,

twinkle little star brightened hand.

Leaping out as one soul on fire,

lighting the way to your touch.

Touch me again under this shade,

skies of darkness clearing forever.

Wrestling with imperfection,

touching my face with your lips.

You reach out for my heart,

taking me into your hands.

Beaming life unwavering,

touch me tonight under the stars.









Johnny Newell

Feel

Feel me suffocate the space between,

holding in my arms your meaning of love.

Feel my lips upon you breathing in the night,

with passion on your heart and lust in your eyes.

Feel my hands touching you in ways you’ve never felt,

lighting the way to heaven in a gentle embrace.

Feel all that I have for you in my grasp tonight,

making love in ways the gods envy.

Do you feel my heartbeat quicken,

do you feel my pulse rise?

Can you feel the sensation,

can you feel my touch?

Would you like to feel this moment,

would you love to feel my kiss?

Is there a way to feel this as one,

is this the way to feel?





Johnny Newell

Fantasy

Floating away on dreams of wishes,

held up on the wings of butterflies.

Soaring to the light in her eyes,

resting on clouds as she sleeps.

Perfectly beautiful painting divine,

blessings of love cherishing her heart.

Flowing rivers of purple imagination,

falling waters becoming fantasy.

Whisper to my heart she speaks,

no words from her lips this wish.

Silky ribbons of passion on her tongue,

embracing the night as she falls.

Dreaming to be what is only inside,

stars of pleasure fill her cup.

A voice in her head showering forever,

in her hands rests the way to his arms.

Spoken by storms of rain breaking in,

he stands in her fantasy of tomorrow.

Laying down below her hair flows to say,

welcome my love in our destiny tonight.







Johnny Newell

Dark

Dark are the days left in her eyes,

lonely is the image of her heart.

No words left to say,

life unfair in these times.

Breaking away from all light,

dark inside of her imagination.

Silence becomes her only friend,

tainted in pain unbearable.

Facing the night in her solitude,

waiting for the end to come home.

She would cy if she had feelings left,

but in this dark she knows nothing.

Set to be who she is inside,

by the stars that gave away their light.

Screaming shadows nestled beneath of her,

cringing agony marked in death.

Tasting forever in this hell,

she wakes up no more.

Destiny haunted by redemption,

imagery desolate and grim.

Eyes of Dark writhed in shame,

making her way to the end.

Nothing left to rediscover,

new lights never shine again.

Torturous love always ending,

dark is her heart, dark are her days.











Johnny Newell

Reaching

Feelings of nothingness surround me,

emptiness fades into sorrow.

No light on my face breaking shadows,

releasing meaningless desires.

My tears are all that I have in my eyes,

no vision to see what is to come.

Falling jaded to love under fire,

seeking only for a sign.

So much sadness inflowing my heart,

sinking deeper into what was left.

Nothing befalling my reasons for living,

knowing only what loneliness brings.

Walls are falling down all around me,

my heart breaks in this silence portrayed.

What have I done to make this my way,

I can’t see a way out of this light.





Johnny Newell

Sleeping

In a time without time my heart is hardened,

no rhyme to speak with riddles unsaid.

Whispering clouds raining laughter tonight,

solely stated memories not yet forgotten.

To hear your smile as the sun rises high,

is like the waters in the ocean glistening.

Each drop accounted for in your rain,

showing me much more than the storm.

Your eyes light up the night sky with desire,

shedding dreams flying low songs of passion.

So many ways to uncover what was hiding,

looking deep into the only eyes I can see.

Your lips hold the honey falling into my mouth,

sweet lovers games playing within.

Kiss me again under waterfalls of lust,

showering lips of magical fire.

In my heaven there is only you,

waiting for your soft voice to say.

Love in the darkness our light burning strong,

close your eyes my dream, I am coming to your arms.







Johnny Newell

Beautiful

Kiss of light holding shadows name inside,

coming together in candlelight so true.

Touching flesh our bodies face the pain,

yearning lust entombed with ecstasy again.

My hands are on your skin so softly tamed,

lips on fear’s forgotten reason for rhyme.

On this lake of passion’s flame calling rain to fall,

your weight on me slowly swaying back and forth.

Slipping slowly penetrating deeply this kiss we fall,

enlightened by pleasure fading away into your eyes.

Moving into your love with each thrust we partake,

lips open slowly, tongues meet again.

Drinking fleshly waters grave becoming erotic streams,

dreaming love under light and shadows calling out for more.

To my soul you are the meaning of beautiful,

beyond my mind’s grasp for understanding.

The way you connect to me much more than life before,

orgasm crying out for our bodies to realize.

Take my hand don’t be afraid of tomorrow never here,

face your fears within my eyes and welcome beauty with me.









Johnny Newell

Together

Breathe on me the life left out so long before my time.

Where devils play the fallen as angels light the fire.

To my heart where mist is my dream,

I only ask that you open your eyes this time.

Feel in my heart the reasons for darkness fading away.

Back when there was only rain in my eyes.

Do you see in my heart the visions you once knew,

or am I only a vessel of life emptied by fate?

Break me away from this realm of false destruction.

Keep me buried alive in your warm embrace of hell.

If there is only one wish to ask for in you,

I wish to be all that you desire one day.

Taste my kiss of fire burning away the fears you once knew.

Sought out to find only what you never wanted to see again.

Love in your heart found in my eyes this time,

forever reminding us of what is never said.

Hear my voice echoing into this life of dreams growing colder each day.

Green trees of autumn rain calling out our names in the darkness.

Inside of my heart is your hand holding on,

to what we are as one, for who we are in love.







Johnny Newell

Pleasure

In a vision we come together tonight,

all thoughts aside to what we now feel.

Seeking to find what pleasure can be,

making love and lust the same light.

Before me she waits in white to my black,

no shade to run to in her arms I am home.

Opening passion to feeling hands we taste,

kisses of pleasurable fictitious pain we hide.

I can feel her eyes upon my body,

as her fingernails dig into my skin.

No sinful notion left to be know,

entangled by ecstasy kneeling before each other.

Lips all over my chest she devours me,

feeling each ripple of love leaking out.

Laying down before me in such a perfect form,

my knees hit the floor, she opens her thighs.

Her eyes are closed to the dream felt within,

smile on her heart, lust in her imagination.

Silk rests against her subtle breasts,

fantasies in her mind, hand on her hips.

Covered in desire my passion reaches out,

to her lips giving pleasure, my kiss saving light.

Darkness sets in as candles light our way,

exploring more than just these dreams we face.

Fingertips arousing life living love between,

beyond my feelings where reality is the dream.

Holding her down while my tongue tastes her warmth,

softly reminding lust to make way for her stream.

In her hands she takes me to a world never seen,

underneath of the stars moaning pleasure beyond.

Roaming touch of feathers bequeathing need,

for more than this closed eye’s vision of pain.

Pull my hair gently speak into my ear,

feel me give out, taste my kiss inside.

She opens her eyes for a moment seeing me vanishing light,

in her shadows my home, in her flesh my pleasure is fulfilled.







Johnny Newell

My Angel's return

In my deepest love she awaits my return,

in her body she feels the coldness within.

No rest for my aching heart without her,

I am feeling the pain burning anguish inside.

She calls my name only when I am nowhere to be seen,

hiding from the very reasons for loving at all.

Each time I cry it is her face that I see,

wanting to end the suffering forced on her tonight.

Holding her head up high she faces the fear,

bestowed upon a heart so fragile and weak.

Unbecoming denial seeking lights burning out,

catching the fallen as my wings carry her home.

On a mountaintop colored in ashes of lost love,

I await the return of peace in her heart.

Listless lies leaving behind tomorrow,

killing this moment dying in today.

Sleeping eyes falling to the depths of love and light,

kissed by hope, touched by reality, brought back to life.









Johnny Newell

Gothic

Alone in her head,

alone is her heart.

Making black the reason,

she can shine in the night.

Bloody wrists of tears,

eyes as dry as rain.

Painful words unspoken,

life undone long ago.

Silence inside of her solitude,

reckoning the end coming near.

Living to die in her own way,

never trying to fit in.

She sings sad songs,

writes poetry in blood.

All of the time she has been here,

nobody could see who she was.

More than a concept of feeling,

her makeup dark like her heart.

Tormented by life so unwavering,

put down to rise up once more.

Inside she is more than perfection,

she cries by the slices on her arms.

So many words never said,

so much pain never seen.

When she smiles there is only desire,

in shadows she waits for her time.

Gothic woman made so beautiful,

for eyes as dark as mine to see.









Johnny Newell

Image

An image too dark to welcome alone,

above the water on the rocks she stands.

Storms approaching life whirling through,

tempest of hopes and dreams fading away.

On the edge of death she cries out in secret,

rain oozing off of her umbrella bleeding love.

Image of desire her heart conveys its song,

plastered in what fears have drifted into view.

Melody answering melancholy in a riddle,

painting words with bloody fingers she smiles.

Racing thoughts betrayed waters rising strong,

waves to disaster caused by the grief now seen.

Staring out into the distance eyes covering light,

shinning down upon her wishes of tomorrow.

Image in her reflection holding true to his name,

crying skies recalling forever in life passed away.

Still she remains under this hurricane of love,

into the water she falls back into the arms of his heart.









Johnny Newell

Plans

So many plans made forgotten in time,

from growing up to how many kids we’d have.

What a change that befalls us in each day,

tears spilt love giving the same.

Remember when it was all but a dream,

the closeness we always knew we’d feel.

It was always about us being who we are,

in painful silences to the passion I our hearts.

You had a list made of things we might do,

never for a moment could we predict the outcome.

When did we get this old, how did this happen,

memories are all that is left of those days.

So much more is this we have now inside,

in my blood I beat my heart just for you.

No list can make my love grow for you,

you are the reasons I learned life at all.

In our passing by this time has made its own,

checking the box for a love lived this way.

Yearning for solitude together we stand,

take my hand, here’s my heart, my love is yours.

Our checklist is complete.







Johnny Newell

Dreams and doorways

Was this all just a dream in finding you there,

so cold and loving in my heart so dead.

Your heartbeat still beats to my song,

drums of life where living isn’t an option.

Grave called you there before my time,

I still cannot just give up on you coming home.

In my heart I dream of two paths to take,

reality cries out loud yet you whisper the dream.

Like a child lost on which way to go,

I search for the way I think you might be.

There is purple roses blending into my eyes,

behind my tears where not even I can cry.

Words of love spoken without warning,

bringing me to my knees again.

In my hands I can taste your essence so true,

vanilla lace twisted in silky fantasies.

Lips of honey speaking erotic pleasures in light,

open the door I beg at the gateway to my fall.

Seeking out to find you here in my arms,

find me in these shadows love left behind.

Please answer me for I am dying to hear your voice,

awake to nothing but this choice of two doors.

Was this my doing, was this my fear that brought my pain,

please light my way, please baby open the doorway to your heart.







Johnny Newell

In the rain

Drops cried by the heavens we lay here,

noticing each feeling felt from above.

Sometimes I wish I could express,

what you still do to me today.

Years have passed by and still I see,

the first time we lay naked in the rain.

So many feelings rushing through us,

as one we come together in the night.

The softest kiss of my passion,

you gave to me a picture to last.

Forever started that night long ago,

looking into your eyes I still see.

The way you said that you loved me,

crying silent tears spoken loudly.

Taking me into your arms as we embraced,

the rain covering our bodies with love.

Take me away to our place in the light,

where even our shadows have a name.

In the rain I promise to love you forever,

in my heart the rain will never stop.







Johnny Newell

A man cries

I feel more alone than ever before,

haste giving way to my death denied.

Each second I take for granted,

tearing apart my heart in your closed eyes.

I see your face in everything,

smiles make me cry, eyes just bring pain.

I have been so lost without your touch,

without you I have no idea how to live.

You could say that I just miss you so much,

as I look at your resting place,

there is no comfort in the sleep forced upon you.

You must be getting tired of me singing to you,

but there are so many songs we haven’t made love to.

Remember when we would play by the river at night?

It was so cold, but somehow those nights are painted vividly.

Sometimes when asleep I reach out for your hand,

at times I actually feel your soft gentle touch.

Do you ever just wait for me to come to bed?

Kind of like I am already there.

There has never been a moment that you are not with me,

I just miss our talks, fuck baby.

I miss everything, most of all I miss my best friend,

baby I miss you, is it okay that I cry?









Johnny Newell