The suicide

As the sun bled upon my face I knew I was alone,

blood scorched by resentment and pain.

Tasting lies through the mind of wickedness,

becoming who I was meant to be.

Alone in the light as shadows pass me by,

asking my name as they laugh and I cry.

Has everything come down to this now I ask,

while my life slips farther away.

I have cum with you and on you,

made love to you after we’d fuck.

Now that I sit here in solitude I wonder,

was I ever truly good enough for you.

No hopes left to ask for I let it go,

as my arm cries your name with my heart.

Broken and dying from wounds I have caused,

to end up what I see in my mirror.

There once was a light yet so blinding,

darkened by my eyes was your fate.

Watch me now as I pull the gun out,

and say goodbye to this world.









Johnny Love

Insatiable you

As we drove around in the air touching so softly,

we came together in what little light I could see on your eyes.

Such a beautiful smile in the very heart I want,

as to touch is to feel, to love is you.

There is a way you say my name in the night,

umbrellas in the rainless skies so lovely,

hinting passion behind the row of flowers created by your hand.

We’d drive around for hours while I tasted your skin,

licking your thighs, tasting your thighs.

How am I supposed to control myself this way,

when everything you do reflects what my words say.

The subtle light before your skin on my kiss,

sliding into you so hard and visible your desire.

Kill my insatiable need for more,

with the only kiss I have left inside.









Johnny Newell

Eyes of behind

I am at a point to where even my truths become their lies,

as I sit here to wait for what never was meant to be.

I cry at the loss of who I could have been,

trying so hard to see her face.

She sings to me songs that are country,

whispers the rain blessed by snow.

Holds my heart in her desire,

but truthfully doesn’t think I know.

I carry her picture around inside,

where only I can see its true light.

Destined to understand dishonor,

I am found by love in her eyes.









Johnny Newell

Sunken painful nights

There a pain inside my heart screaming death,

for that would more than this hell I know no.

Sleepless dreams too lucid to explain,

feel as though my word is crashing down,

I am a mother before anything,

yet the loneliness kill me under my tears.

Nobody can even squeeze the surface in which I live.

I give up time and again to just breathe here alone,

while I just ask for who wants the next pour,

crying another mans beer just to hard to fight away.

Falling to my knees as nobody can see,

just a painful day in the life of a bartender…..









Johnny Newell

Reflection man

Am I truly who I see in the mirror,

or am I the image he sees looking back?

Always living in the past I see clearly,

or looking to the future unable to see.

How am I ever to stop and smell the roses,

if I am so lost in the memories.

How can I let go of what I was,

if I never take a look at who I am.

I see images of ghosts in windows as I walk,

sadness hits me hard as I wonder about life.

Maybe I am the ghost walking these streets,

trying to get a grasp on what I am inside.

I have taken for granted what it is about living,

how beautiful things are to my eyes as I cry.

No sorrow enough to erase what I have done,

no grave able to hold me close as I rest.

Reflection hits me as the waters stop flowing,

destined to be I am able to stand.

Taking in all of the hurt I have caused,

only to cry in solitude weeping in my hands.

So much to live for now that I am dead,

feelings of tomorrow halting my yesterday.

I just want to see the mirror of my love,

where I mattered somehow before I understood.

Taking the hand of the lonely now at peace,

reflection beset upon the hearts of the few.

Holding up my head in my shame,

image of who I can be haunting lights.

I stop for a moment to look at right now,

all tears are gone, life is beautiful.

Letting go of what I may have been,

to see this reflection of love in my heart.

In my eyes there is much more to be revealed,

showing the truth of what passion is to me now.

As I walk down to be up in the light,

my mirror reflects my love, my hope, my life.

Johnny Newell

Life within love and death

You have sang to me your pain,

I only wish I could soothe,

as light becomes my eyes,

you will see the darkness within me.



I love the voice as you cry,

tears of desire for me,

kiss me tonight under love,

while facing the end in me,

I am yours.



Now that I live I am dying,

nothing but you to feed my need,

kissed by death life becoming,

what am I now in the light,

if I am without you.



You speak my heart,

you know my name,

you see my eyes,

in my lies I am dead,

in you I am alive.







Johnny Newell

Tasting enticement

Taste my kiss of desire,

feel my longing for more.

See in my hands your pleasure,

I will never let you down.

Looking into you I know this,

all that I crave is your wine.

Now in my arms I am taken,

by the dreams that once were forbidden.

Your breasts on my lips,

your hands on my heart.

Your lust craving for me,

as all else fades away.

I see you,

I want you,

I more than need you.

Why cannot you see who I am?

I wait here in darkness bleeding shadows,

to taste the kiss of your soul.





Johnny Newell