Sinful you

Lace torn off slowly to reveal my lust,

licking to taste you for all that you are.

Lips locked in passion, eyes fixed on you,

temptation eminent pleasure to come.

Feel me ravish you in all ways,

find the pleasure in your pain.

Scream for me as I touch your flesh,

feel me rape your willing heart.

What a sight you are on top of me,

such a dream your fantasy is to my eyes.

Making you do to me what I want,

on your knees, eyes wide open.

See the desire in my touch this light,

squirming before you, falling to my knees.

Hands on hips, tongue exploring,

tasting your rivers of wine my desire.

Finding the place to make you fall my goal,

feeling each moan you make in vain.

Legs wrapped around me, pulling me in,

my love, my sin, my place inside of you.













Johnny Newell

Feeble mind my heart

Who am I to question the depths of love?

Even if my feeble mind could comprehend,

there is nothing to express the feelings I feel.

When in your arms I am safe from all things.

Wherever you are my heart is also,

whoever I am is only because of you.

Do I bother trying to understand that which is so misleading?

The beautiful way a heart can open up to one soul,

knowing only the touch creeping up behind my eyes.

With all that is lovely in your heart I find rest.

Seeing the light within your touch so cold,

soft white skin so smooth against my face.

You have touched me in ways I never knew of before.

Does this make me fallible as a man,

or am I just made human in the love you give me?

Questions rise and fall but still our dream stands.

Never in life is death so lovely and warm,

knowing eternity is only forever with you.

I speak out my heart in rhyme this song we make.

All things tangible are the fantasies we endure,

by a look, a touch, a light so blinding our love.













Johnny Newell

Kiss me deadly

Holding back for the right moment,

the look I feel in your eyes,

speak to me in showers of pleasure.

Kiss me to death your soul,

bleed me into your arms,

feel the pain as I pass away into you.

Hold me closer than before,

passion, poison, painful lights,

kissing my heart with such demise.

Feed me to your soul my love,

burn me with your waters deep,

kill me with a kiss so deadly.

Lay me down beside of your touch,

wake me alive with your poisonous lips,

race through my veins your love.

Make me do your desires cold,

take me away from this life alone,

the deeper I fall, I fall into you.

Dream me to reality your kiss,

so deadly your touch ready to kill,

lights so dark your soul so bright.

When I open my eyes blindly shown,

your lovely kiss killing me,

your passion so hot I am dead to all else.















Johnny Newell

Passionate fairytale

Waking up I ask myself if love exists in the world anymore.

So many ways I see fairytales as our only hope.

The passionate look just before a long kiss,

where time doesn’t matter, where we feel close.

Deep water’s warm embrace reminding,

hope seeing the dreams we feel.

I see only the passion in my heart to make this real,

finding I too have a fairytale in my heart.

In all that I see I close my eyes,

hearing the love left in my soul.

Burning my thoughts with true desire,

a feeling only felt in my dreams.

I love you deeper than the ocean’s tides,

stronger than the light waking the day.

When in your arms I am all that matters,

no amount of nightmares to take that away.

When I close my eyes I am next to the one I love,

comforted by the breath she leaves on my neck.

We dream and hope for things to come,

our visions, our pain, everything is together.

If a fairytale is all that truly exists today,

I am in one with her, we are the story.

Tonight I wake up to share my heart,

with the woman I love, deeply, truly, passionately my soul.













Johnny Newell

Our moment

Do you remember the tree in which we met under,

the rain pouring down, the lights so dim.

All of the feelings in the moment,

each drop so loud as we embraced the night.

I see you there waiting in my dreams,

from a distance I smile in remembrance.

The moonlight hiding from our eyes,

clouds so dark our hearts lit the pasture.

I can hear you still saying my name for the first time,

like the sounds of the ocean knocking on our hearts.

Whisking away these thoughts are the dreams once seen,

under darker skies in a time that stood still.

The first time we kissed like a volcano erupting true,

burning my heart, scorching the love within.

I wait here sometimes knowing you aren’t far,

maybe you see me, maybe you hide away your heart.

I give everything still to this tree in which we loved,

holding a branch as your hand, peering into your eyes.

Somehow I know you are there in spirit watching me,

as our love drifted apart, this moment shall never die.















Johnny Newell

Moon's tears

Once more I say hello to my goodbyes,

not sure as to why I feel this desire.

My dreams blend into my tears,

a smile so warm it hurts.

Looking to the sky I realize,

how much her memory haunts me.

Lie to me again tell me you love me,

say what you will as the lights go out.

My heart is on my sleeve making it harder to hear me,

even then my life is so unnoticed by your heart.

I snap before the madness within my eyes,

failing to see who I am to you.

Screaming so loudly the silence eats my heart away,

leaving thoughts and feelings the same buried deep within you.

When I am me I see how much I hate what I am,

a raging wave of emotions dying to escape.

Backing off of my desires fleeting memories cold,

snow washes away my soul when love comes into play.

Drenched in your tears drowning my heart’s hope,

calling out to be held one more time in this shame.

What direction have I come to as loneliness fades,

do you see my heart still crying the shame of yesterday?

In a moments time all silence brings the sorrow within,

taking me to a world I never wanted to know.

Nothing to make anything better in my fears,

finding who you are still covers my eyes.

Wanting you to see me in more than a dream,

I wait for you under the moon crying shadows and light.













Johnny Newell

In my heart your tears

I have tried so hard to control my tears,

but as each minute passes by I break.

So lost to how I should be feeling,

so alone to this misunderstanding.

Not knowing where you are breaks my will,

each time I open my eyes your tears crush my heart.

I hear your voice in my ears reminding me of hope,

never seeing the pain, tasting only the fears.

What have I become being so far from your eyes,

who am I now that I am so destined to live?

Tears have fallen from my hands in crimson red,

sliced heart bleeding the emotions found inside.

Hiding nothing that makes sense to my eyes,

blinded by your fears crying deep within my heart.

Black portrait calling home the reasons for light,

shaking hands unable to hold onto this love.

Faster I fade into this realm known only by you,

kissed by lights my shadows hide behind your soul.

Spinning around as I fall away in this vision,

living life in the death always longed for.

Feelings crash around my thoughts as you bleed,

in my heart where your home is, in my memories still.

Waters come to me so dry soaking my eyes in you,

drowning love inside of all the things you cry for.

I want to try, I long to hold on, I can’t let go,

all of my ways are leading up to your touch.

Wearing black so beautiful is my dreams of us,

where nothing is everything we once let go of.

Keep on holding as you try to slip away,

even in your absence I am with you.

Loved by hate this illusion fades,

finding me alone in your arms.













Johnny Newell

Goth in light and love

Sometimes when I feel as much as I do I break,

beneath of the surface resting painful lights,

unable to express the very depth of curses,

blessings fading into this breath now made.

Snakes seeing the fear in all ways enlightened,

facing pain in the touch made beautiful,

falling inside is the emotional man I am,

killing shadows with the light in her eyes.

Chasing dreams within a bite so cruel,

lovely thoughts of death making me whole,

dying beyond the depths of living I cry,

seeing only the colors her heart shows.

Down to the hiding place so open,

fantasy fading as I fall away into her touch,

buried deep within her soul is my demise,

hopes becoming too distant to comprehend.

Blessed by the curses shown in my eyes,

crying to understand the meaning of it all,

finding only the answers for questions never asked,

alone to be as one in all colors of love.

So dark is her heart so beautiful,

each scar represents my heart,

stolen kisses bringing lust and passion,

knowing only her light, love, everything.













Johnny Newell

Devil in love

In love there is much more than what I see,

what I feel becomes the dream I live.

Making each passing moment a lifetime within,

holding everything as it is in my eyes.

Breathe in me this feeling of painful light so bright,

tasting lust in the images flashing before my soul.

Breaking to feel all of the life left to understand,

making all illusions the dust that remains on my hands.

Seeing the whispers in my heart covered up in hope,

helps me to feel, makes all things that much more.

Misunderstanding visions of pleasure mixing with pain,

fate becomes the very essence left to drink in each kiss.

Hair pulled back, lips on my neck, desire falling into me,

held back from the words unable to speak.

Dreading every thought within my feelings growing cold,

warming the deepest soul so dark in eyes breaking blindness.

Fear holds me close to the images in my heart’s design,

showing me the darkness, holding out for light.

Touched by the devil within I fall away to love,

knowing only what my eyes can perceive in each kiss.













Johnny Newell

Seeing voices

Closing my eyes taking all dreams away,

I see nothing but your voice echoing within me.

Softly spoken fantasy burning eyes clean,

lights bright, darkness the cure, whispering my name.

Thunder sounds in the beat of love known only by my heart,

felt with each drop of rain glistening on your flesh.

New heat sweating as we embrace under darker shades of love,

melting together by the music our bodies make.

The look in your voice as you see into my soul,

kiss me before the lights fade in again.

Tongue discovering your body, lips letting go,

holding onto you closer than the breath inside.

Tightly we blend together under the sound we create,

moaning softly visions of voices meant for our eyes only.

I feel your body move in ways never heard of before,

making me bend to ways I only do for you.

Tie me down to the bed, have your way with me,

hurt me, make me bleed, taste the life in my love.

Lips on my neck, fingers pulling my hair,

forcing me to scream, you make me feel so good.

In a voice unlike any dream I have seen,

I hear you move, I see your words, I want you now.

Take your time with me as I beg for the end,

have me consume your flesh with kisses of pain.

Find me there with my eyes closed,

seeing only your voice in a vision of desire.













Johnny Newell

In a single mind of two

I hold my head in my guilt so repressing,
I have no reason to feel guilty, it is love
inside of me that I've been repressing.
There have been so many dark paths to decide,
The dark paths I have walked,
have not all been absent of light.
All thoughts fade into the sorrow now breaking me,
I have been broken for so long
and yet I know I am still fixable.
Tears have fallen from my eyes to portray my hope,
My own tears I have felt upon my cheek,
as I have wept for hope.
I hear nothing but the pain screaming within my soul,
Pain screams loud, but it's my soul
that screams louder from love.
Does anything matter anymore if I am to do it alone,
Everything matters as it has always,
even when one is alone I can close my eyes
and I feel not alone.
There seems to be only regret forging this hell,
Regret is something that can be overturned,
for it is not set in stone.
Who am I to question my heart for who I love,
I can learn from it, and then my hell
will become my heaven.
Your lips pressing, arms strong, heart forgiving,
My heart has never questioned love,
twas always my thoughts that did.
Destiny sings for our love knowing new understanding,
My arms have become so pressing,
and yet my heart has stayed strong through it all.
Always a new path before us in new Moonlight,
It is my lips that will do the forgiving.
Destiny has always understood my love
and it's it that sings to me.
Take me as I break before this wave of waterfalls,
My heart follows new paths, and
my moon is the guiding light.
Guilty I may be, but in a way my heart knows your desires,
I break into pieces under this waterfall,
but I will come out whole.
Guilty I am never, for my heart wants
what it wants. It is my heart that has always seen
my truest desires.



Leslie Daniels and Johnny Newell

In me

Desire becomes the fate of all thoughts and dreams,

unwavering, unspoken, untouched by many.

Open eyes see blindly the lusts of their own,

making fantasy and reality somewhat of the unknown.

In my heart I carry the shame of many nights alone,

broken to heal, healed to break myself again.

Who I am is only because of what I was,

cheating death with a life so unwanted by many.

Slicing into my flesh to cry out loud,

my silence noted, all words empty.

Writing in blood the tears I wasn’t allowed to cry,

speaking the void left so lonely in my heart.

No love to know, no feelings left to suppress,

just the ramblings of a child hiding in the light.

Beat me with your truths so I may understand,

believe in me my sorrowful dreams left behind.

Broken child becoming a dying man,

left to feel the void spoken into existence long ago.

I hurt as you hurt, I feel as you feel,

all dreams are vacant when seen in the dark.

Clouds of light raining shadows of pure light,

facing fears only to be more afraid than before.

Solitude endlessly seeking sorrow for compromise,

alone in a crowd unseen by many faces.

Lost is the image in my eyes,

of life, of love, of everything in me.













Johnny Newell

Fateful heart

Does love hold true to the cause of living,

bringing worlds to their knees in flames so bold.

Tempted beyond reasoning portrayed by guilt,

falsely accusing the worthy for the unjust.

Hanging onto the light stringing me along,

songs in Lyric’s mind so beautiful.

Heart crying out for this end to subside,

beneath of the waves is a home my soul has made.

Tested past the realm of desire I fall sway to your hold,

letting me know who I was always meant to be.

In light and shadows the same end is near,

to wake up as one in endless tides breaking shores.

Kissed by devils angels fall under the guise of the pure,

blessings mistaken for curses untold magic letting go.

In a circle forged in the flames five points arise,

burning love into the wicked with all fantasies forsaken.

Light becomes the darkness, heaven becomes hell,

all dreams turn inside out breaking minds.

Fingers slip, letting loose, falling away,

wings give out under the pressure of life.

Yelling painful thoughts hurting eyes deaf,

unable to feel who I am without you I cry.

Left out in the cold as winter blends into spring,

the leaves in my heart grow into this tree of life and love.

Who am I to question this path to your heart?















Johnny Newell

Think as you will

Are you infallible to a point of rightfully speaking,

darkness too holds a light in my eyes.

Seeing me before you, do I scare you,

can you truly see the evil beyond my eyes?

I have tasted death bringing life to a new meaning,

all thoughts of old are just that.

Who I was or where I came from nothing,

it isn’t what I have done, but what I do now.

I have a heart unlike any other before me,

the depths of hell I have been to design my way.

So much pain I felt before ever cherishing love,

only in my darkest place was the light made clear.

No amount of prayers have ever saved me from pain,

god promised a mansion, well hell gave me a Condo.

Never have I been one for doing what’s expected,

for in my path the way is never what it seems.

You may not like my way of living but who are you,

is there some connection I was never aware of?

I am not here to feel sorry for myself,

my heart, my love, my dreams are for one to understand.

Rose petals softly burning my soul in love and war,

a chance to survive in a life built on death.

Love has been away from my heart for so long,

now that I have it, all lights are perfectly united.

I lie sometimes and even cheat when I must,

to make it known am I as hidden as you are?

I don’t take for granted anything I used to know,

all that is inside of me is beautiful because of her love.















Johnny Newell

Understanding my love

Bleak outcome caused by fateful beginnings,

tears vacant vast stars shinning eyes cold.

Fate eminently bruised hearts broken loved,

whipped flesh scarring fears embracing pain.

Lashes speaking loudly unable to say,

pointless visions never seen by open eyes.

Falling away to discover unachievable disaster,

tearing walls down never put up at all.

Seeing lights reseeding endless dead ends,

storm approaching clear skies crying yesterday.

Tasking decisions made unclearly by minds frayed,

hanging on by needle and thread sewing love.

Unspoken gibberish understanding Greek,

sand script in the water snowing ice before the fall.

Making no sense out of nonsense mistaken forgettable words,

feeling thoughts becoming undone in eyes closed to life.

Out of all there is nothing, sacred to shrines empty,

How I see love is only left to my interpretation.















Johnny Newell

From her hospital bed

From her window I see her on the bed,

in pain as she cries feeling so alone.

Keeping me away from her is this glass,

like being miles away from the closeness we feel.

Bruised heart breaking the skin of helplessness,

dire ends to what was once so much to her.

I place my fingers on the window speaking my love,

hoping she can feel me, believing in her heart.

I cry her tears when she is too weak to move,

blood flows from my eyes crying her pain so deep.

To see the beauty in her lowest form so light,

I whisper on the glass a message of my love.

Her fists clinch the sheets as she rolls around,

so much torture her heart has come to know.

Crying out her name so loudly silence befalls,

nothing heard from the words of my soul.

I try to break the glass, I try to make her see,

how much she is to me, how much I love her.

Only echoes bouncing back in shadows of glass,

painful moments of darkness killing my inhibitions.

A needle I see breaking her skin as she looks my way,

she smiles, closes her eyes, speaks the words,”I love you”.













Johnny Newell

Singing dreams

Pondering thoughts of images I had only a moment ago,

lost within my eyes drifting silently so loud my ears hurt.

Vanilla hopes in strawberry fantasies cold,

rain on me my hopes falling deeper into despair.

The taste you left on my lips woke my dreams,

reminding me of a hope I have in our desires.

Do to me the very imagination pictures painted in words,

falling away to the depths of love so warm.

Holding on for your whisper screaming in my eyes,

closing blindness deafening the natural feelings thought of.

Sink your teeth into my soul, drain me of all emotions,

taste my bitter heart of yesteryears broken between.

Lost in your sight to be found alone together in your arms,

all finalities ending the start of life bringing death.

Kiss me, kill me, hold me so close I can’t see myself,

deeper into the shallows drowning in your love.

Shower my heart with the blood only your tears understand,

figure me out so confusing task fearing I am not afraid.

Salt agonizing painless slices of flesh deteriorated,

infatuated soul bleeding lust for love sympathy falls.

Attracted to unattractive feelings remembered in my sleep,

unaware so flamboyant hiding in plain sight my eyes.

Black clouds bringing light so bright the rain hurts what I see,

deceived by deception lying to truth’s unwilling compromise.

Twilight giving up to daylight sunlight kissing moonlight,

in all ways light in this love seen as beyond beautiful.













Johnny Newell

Heaven in my eyes

Heaven to me is being in your arms,

how you hold me closer than your heartbeat divine.

The softest kiss planted on my lips so evil,

making the best of my life come out.

All things dark become all that is beautiful,

when you say my name time stands still.



Hell to me is waking up into a dream alone,

startled is that moment when we are apart.

Waves break on the shores of my heart with your tears,

not a star left to shine, all lights fade away.

Deeper my nightmare becomes twisting memories,

of a world without you, in a winter too long to endure.



Perfection to me is your smile,

always lighting up my heart, always beautiful.

The way you laugh as you kiss me tickles my soul,

tears pour from this hysteria we play inside.

Such lips of desire calming all fears within me,

perfect smile in such a beautiful heart.



Reality to me is knowing your love,

in pleasure and pain all things are of you.

How you loo into me as we kiss so passionately,

making the sun shine brightly as I hold you in my arms.

There is only one feeling left for me to expect,

how much our love will grow, how dreams and love collide.















Johnny Newell

Closing eyes open

Exhausted I fall to my knees,

covered in shame I close my eyes,

tears exit through my heart bleeding love.

Guilt takes away desires for life fading in,

alone has new meaning under my regrets,

no light to be seen in this darkness now my home.

Skies are down below my dreams killing reason,

unable to feel the rain sent only yesterday,

drought of love left on the shores of my being.



“Get up,” she said to me in a voice so angelic,

opening my eyes I find the light before me.

All pain leaves me numb in her sight,

nothing left to fear, nothing holding me down.

Soft eyes peering into the very pain caging my heart,

ripping the shame away with her smile so warm.

Light surrounds me in her presence enlightening,

sounds of delightful dreams crashing around my soul.

Speaking life into what was so dead she holds me,

making life seep into my heart again.

Such passion, what desire, a beautiful feeling,

passing into the deep with a touch of her love.



Drained pain exhausting the emptiness behind,

life coming into love, love making dreams, reality sits.

Tasting a world of pleasure in a single kiss hello,

calming the fears set inside by desperation.

Looking into her eyes I understand who I am,

lost before the light was able to come on.

Alone with love in a life unworthy to be,

changing the very soul meant to burn.

Dreamt before closing my eyes to sleep,

this touch, this hope, her love always there.

I just needed to close my eyes so she could open them.















Johnny Newell

Icy flames of love

Frozen in your eyes,

deeper than your tears,

crying to understand,

feeling just to know.

Awake I am before you,

light shinning to fade away,

burning to feel cold,

seeing past the eyes I see.

Falling into your hideaway,

escaping from bars unlocked,

tasting delight in sorrow,

finding my way home.

Opening my heart to your touch,

a beat away from a song,

love with apathy combined,

held closer than my soul.

Ecstasy calling ringer off,

hoping for what I have in you,

wanting nothing that I can have,

realizing my dreams are of you.

Stepping out to be noticed,

spotlight not for me,

moon so beautifully silent,

screaming in song Lyric’s love.















Johnny Newell

Breaking to bend

Unable to bend, I broke for you,

teaching me how to love inside.

So afraid I was to fall in love,

so scared to feel what I couldn’t control.

How you reached into me and showed me,

there was nothing to fear when in your arms.

Maleficent my will breaking twisted thoughts,

cold heart becoming the very meaning of warmth.

Touched by an angel covered in light,

blessed by the kiss once terrified to embrace.

You hold me up when I can’t seem to stand,

my mind bends for my heart to know you more.

Each time I look into your eyes I know,

I know I adore you in all ways you love.

Looking out into the distance I become one in you,

forged in water, sealed within the flames.

Buried deep inside of your hear I rest,

finding who I was always meant to be.

Love has new meaning for my eyes as I cry,

joyful sorrows kiss tickling a heart once so cold.

Destiny means nothing if my fate was alone,

but in you I am able to be the man you were born to know.

Whispering roses subtle kiss of petals torn,

thorns pricking my flesh in a lover’s hint of lust.

Taking back the soul so lost inside of his own world,

finding my home in you, until eternity falls do we break.















Johnny Newell

Essence of love

The snow melts as I sit here smiling with you,

the lights are dim, your eyes are so bright.

Winter winds chill my soul burning for your touch,

welcoming the pain in everything that you do.

Your smile lights my soul on fire in heaven’s lie,

touching the face of a Goddess, touched by your lips.

In a kiss so alive all deaths break away from my mind,

feeling your passion in the pleasure we create.

Rain starts to fall upon our hearts, so wet, so free,

facing you in my arms I let go of what I see.

Your arms around me, my only safety left,

worlds fall apart but not when in your arms.

Nightly images flash in front of my eyes,

yearning for the only love I have in my life.

Birds fly away as you whisper in my ear,

of dreams and love mixing into one.

Winds grow stronger in your hands,

heartbeat becomes so silent.

Rapidity speaking pulse creating life and love,

waking in all images known inside.

Moon has fallen before your feet where I lay,

hands on your knees, eyes locked on yours.

The touch of your fingers on my face,

making this the very essence of our love.











Johnny Newell

In a thought

In a thought I am carried away,

in a vision I am lost in your eyes,

in a touch I am frozen in you,

in a world where we are one.



Beyond your eyes is my heart,

beyond my heart is your hand,

beyond your hand is my soul,

beyond my soul is our forever.



Taken away from a dream,

taken back to your arms,

taken from the pain,

taken for this moment in you.



Falling away in your dreams,

falling up to hold you close,

falling down to lift you up,

falling deeper in love with you.



Drifting apart to come together,

drifting slowly eternity cries,

drifting sorrow covering release,

drifting to where we came together.



Feeling so close to my soul,

feeling so close to your heart,

feeling so close this image,

feeling of hope knowing dreams.



Love you I do with my entirety,

love me you do with your love,

love making this truly beautiful,

love in me I have in you.



Breathe on my heart your forever,

breathe in me this life we share,

breathe for me understanding,

breathe with me forever in us.



In your arms I know I am home,

in my kiss you will always know passion,

in your heart I have made my home,

in my heart you will forever be loved.











Johnny Newell

Love and loss

When I close my eyes I can still hear your smile,

like running waters of passion bleeding pain.

As if I were ever meant to know who you are,

sometimes I imagine things differently.

I cry now to sleep just to hide my fears,

knowing when I wake up I will be alone.

Never do I dream, never do I smile,

as you never came back my world was destroyed.

I see your laughter on the wind,

each gust taking me back to our home.

The life around so beautiful, all things complete,

a dream made in the tears shed so long before.

Unwanted man meets desired woman in pain,

both hiding secrets of a life left behind.

No way back to the rivers we swam in,

only empty hopes and shattered dreams.

Nightmares falling into me like an unstoppable force,

controlling me in all ways, breaking my heart.

Tears unable to escape from my eyes,

screams are void, love doesn’t exist.

Looking into the deep dark emptiness I wake,

closed eyes on a once beautiful soul.

Death falls under my cries in the night,

hoping to take a hold on my mind.

No heart left to feel as everything dies,

crushing my reasons, taking away my dreams.

On the flames before me I remember your love,

how you would sweep me off of my feet with a glance.

The lights were brighter because you were there,

life was amazing, dreams became our reality.

If only I had known what to say,

if only my heart was more to you now.

Sometimes I look to the stars and pray,

that somewhere out there, you are wishing for me too.















Johnny Newell

In hell for you

I have tried to be enough for your life,

seeing now I am nothing I give up.

Beaten to a mess of blood and tears,

cried for who I thought I could have been.

Get your hand away from me I don’t want your help,

after seeing your love I think I will let love be.

Not enjoyable the pain of never knowing understanding,

how far must I fall before you realize I have had enough?

Your words broke my heart as your kiss killed my flesh,

seeping through the cracks of destiny my pain.

Bleeding and broken before you as you smile,

like this was your plan from the start.

A ragdoll used to satisfy the hunger in your soul,

to hurt, maim, abuse without remorse.

Torn apart are the seams of my heart,

by the very love I was so afraid of before.

I know the meaning of hurt now in my sorrow,

all of the grief I had caused making my hell.

Twisted images flash from your words spoken,

ripping apart my life, showing me how little I am.

Death would be comforting to me but I was given you,

I despise each breath I am forced to take.

Your words empty now like your heart,

no way to love anything but yourself.

Fading away slowly in pain an anguishing torment,

breathing flames on my eyes burning the dreams of old.

Where love meant something more than just an illusion,

where I mattered, but where I am now only you know.











Johnny Newell

I love you wherever you are

I remember when she said hello to me,

all fears of this world left me that day,

I was waiting for her reply, expecting her voice.

So cold was my heart alone in emptiness barren,

dreams void of her touch, light without her shadows,

nothing made sense the way she did to me.

Heart raced just to find the little message of love,

ripping into my dark world to show me something,

realizing all of this time I had been so wrong.

She held me close in a time when I didn’t matter,

darkness my name, light my heart’s only fear,

a whisper speaks of a dream long ago seen.

Sprouting up in her arms this empty man caved,

all thoughts of love were changed in her voice,

all unclear imperfections were clearly perfect.

I tried to push down my feelings behind my pain,

but she reached in and soothed the wounds of before,

painting this life with me in beautiful eyes.

I cry now only for the memory of who she made in me,

a hint of pain wrapped in a love so pure,

where once I hid away now I standout strong.

I lift my eyes to her today under December grounds of lust,

covered in white, bathed in red, singing for black,

only that she knows I love her wherever she has gone.

















Johnny Newell

Waking up alone

It’s hard at times waking up alone,

how cold it feels, how silence falls.

Eyes closed as the light peers in,

blinding already deaf eyes shinning.

Scared I have become to waking up,

shaking endlessly under false images.

The birds outside of my window haunting,

life around me killing my will to fight on.

Vacant smiles in pictures felt inside,

calming the pain, reliving the sorrow.

Hell has become my only way to push,

holding back for a moment to strike.

Snakebite piercing my heart frozen,

melting the flames of what was never there.

Under my hands rests eternity and tomorrow,

rain on me the sadness, show me I am alive.

So afraid to fall in love, too afraid to cry,

reaching for your stars, finding a new light.

To feel this loneliness is my nightmare,

talking to the pillows, finding a friend.

Losing my mind in all things left to say,

nobody ever listens, whose left in my life?

A single beat ripping my heart apart,

fear of loving, mostly fear of living alone.















Johnny Newell

Bed of winter

I feel the air say my name on the snow,

taking in a deep breath I feel you.

So cold on the tip of my tongue,

the kiss of winter you give.

All of the stars hide from my eyes,

standing out is your light so beautiful.

A candle’s flame of jasmine burning soft,

a flicker reminding me of your love.

Warm essence intoxicating my soul,

in my heart where rivers collide.

Testing my fears with new visions,

light bearer I call you back home.

So cold outside in the darkness so bright,

I see your breath coming my way.

You sparkle for me in the shadows,

with love I welcome your sting.

Sing to me your moans of delight,

feel me as I take control of you.

In a kiss made from the heavens,

all else drifts from our minds.

I feel you breathe so heavy inside,

my lips on your neck bittersweet.

All that I have left to give to you,

in all ways my body is yours.

Dance with me in the waters,

ice melting for our passion.

Make me feel who you are,

I will show you who I was meant to be.













Johnny Newell

You and I as one

I have been searching for your touch,

now that I am left alone I beg,

for a hint of a sign you’re here,

hiding in the shadows looking at me.

I have waited for my whole life to know,

this scent, this feeling, this love,

creeping into my existence,

waking me up from the dreams of old.

I have lived so long only reminded of you,

in the rain showering my eyes with life,

the flowers that bear your name,

all light and love from your heart.

I have you where I have always needed you,

in my arms where nothing dies,

in my heart where love was formed,

in my eyes where you see me clearly.



You searched for me from the day time became,

lost on my way without a light to guide me,

broken under foot, buried within your eyes,

trying to speak your name.

You waited for me in our secret garden,

becoming who you are,

ready to give away,

everything that you are for me.

You have lived for so long just to know,

all that is beautiful in me is for you,

realms only appear for our desire,

hope is made in each others arms.

You have me where you have always wanted me,

in your sights where I am free to love you,

next to the earth where angels sing,

in your heart where I have always belonged.



You and I together under all things,

we come to understand,

love forged in our hands,

beyond what dreams can see.

You and I as one heart,

knowing what will come,

under new moon and sun,

where we will never be apart.

You and I will find inside,

hopes and fears the same,

love known in our pain,

past the tears we’ve cried.

You and I will see through the end,

as love becomes our light,

passion seen in our eyes,

as our love makes its way in.















Johnny Newell

My mirror is you

The meaning of broken has new meaning for me,

completely whole lost inside of a nightmare so alone.

Tasting passionate waters embracing my will to move,

I let go of who I thought I was before, I am empty.

Desire in my eyes for what I cannot see in this storm,

approaching the end of this beginning so futile my pain.

Importance falls from my heart cleaning sorrow with a deep kiss,

sinking in the air before me as rain covers my soul.

Which way is tomorrow if tonight is lost within,

just barely broken, barely alive at all.

I don’t recognize who I see in the mirror,

lost am I to everything but the shaking man before me.

Black eyes calling destiny to fade beyond my grave,

cold your touch is, so warm your kiss of damnation.

Would you know me if we passed by on the street,

would my eyes still captivate your own?

Can I see you in a realm where our dreams survive,

can I hold you so close to my heart?

So lost I am with only the silence keeping me company,

no light, no shadows, nothing to know as my own.

I don’t know what to do as I ponder not whether or not I will fall,

but I fear that I will jump into the emptiness that stole my love.

I see you there on top of the river as a ghost inside of my dreams,

only I can see you, only I know who you truly are.

It is your eyes that reflects who I really am,

only then do I know, only with you am I whole.

Broken down to tears bleeding emptiness away,

where I hold you now, where I will never let you go.















Johnny Newell

Open eyes

I feel broken inside,

pieces of love scattered,

mirror reflecting sorrow,

dreams releasing pain.

There doesn’t seem to be peace,

my thoughts portray my feelings,

my feelings hide their guilt,

leaving me cold once again.



I try to call your name by the flames,

by the flames where our love ignited.

Love ignited the passion in each kiss,

in each kiss we made this hell so beautiful.



I hear you knocking,

I feel you crying,

I know only your love,

nothing else matters.

You have seen me so low,

lifting me up with your desire,

showing me I am something,

opening my eyes to your light.















Johnny Newell

Touch me

Is there a point in falling,

if I am unable to kiss the sky?

Does anything ever matter,

if all things are trivial?

Am I worth more to you,

knowing I am yours?

Why do we ignore each other,

if we truly crave to be one in all ways?



Built on lies and deception breaking hearts of glass with stones,

carrying pain are the wings of featherless devils.

An angel without a soul to hold underneath of my sorrow,

tears cried by hearts with only deaf eyes blinding me.

Singing lights burning out to the darkness inside of my eyes,

feeling all fall from view to understand the questions you wouldn’t ask.

Let’s go to the place we hide from ourselves to find,

how deep our pain has actually grown.



Calling your name,

screaming your touch,

holding your heart,

fearing your love,

facing your light,

to be one in you.



Tasting your flesh,

making you wet,

touching your thighs,

lost in your eyes,

finding my way,

to be one with you.



I don’t see the reason for the failure,

reaching out to hold you, empty-handed.

You speak bubbles in cartoon images,

my heart melts under your touch.

Will you hold me beyond my shame,

am I still what you long for at night?

Wanting nothing but the only thing I can’t seem to grab,

falling away in the fear that consumes my life still.













Johnny Newell

Abstract love

So lost

I was

without

you,

years gone

by

alone in

the only

love

I

have

ever

wanted.

I

have been

here

expecting your

scent

on my

hands,

a

kiss

left

behind

to

remind

me of

love.

My

life

was

a

mess

before

you,

somehow

you

have

made

everything

come

together.

Times don’t

feel

so dark

when

you are

in

my

arms,

coming

together

in our

love

so

beautifully

abstract.

I

look

into

your

eyes

knowing

destiny

is working

on our

love

as we

speak,

pulling

together

this puzzle

of our hopes

dreaming just to

be closer than all of the days before.

Tears have

known our names, breath

changed with the winds,

how I feel with you is more than complete, it’s meaningful.

You smile at me in a way I understand,you hold me closer than life,

you make me see beauty, in all that I see, I see you.

Messed up life in a perfect world so blind,

where we came together in a dream filled with puzzles and love.











Johnny Newell

Covering love

Your ghost haunts emphatically broken,

imperatively meaning crashing dawn.

Impeding fate shaking soul,

delicately misplaced my heart.

Unaware realized fixed in your presence,

shadows rise calling out my regret.

Times have come to a point of losing,

emanate my doom under your disguise.

Take me from this light to find you.

You are the very whisper I desire.

Desire falls into my arms empty.

Empty man shaking in this realm.

Realm twists water spinning making.

Making holes in clouds of rain.

Rain sets in my eyes as you touch me.

Me alone with only my screams fading in.

I remember the first time I saw you,

the world disappeared, my heart stopped,

eyes blurry just to focus on your smile.

Lost inside of a nightmare you controlled me,

like a lost dog trying to find my way home,

oh how I longed for it to be in your arms.

The way you laughed stole my affection,

accent mistakably heavenly devilish,

wings of soft passion my angel you are.

Looking into you is still my everything,

waiting by your grave I recall my pain.

Watching your last breath ravishing my life,

nothing lasts forever you said to me.

Holding my hands just to find your way,

Lyric in my hands leaving me to comfort her.

Promising my life for our creation in love,

guiding your princess to understand this love.

She has your smile, eyes of beauty, heart of gold so pure,

reflection of the flowers you always were in my eyes.

Soft words whisper,

hopeful hearts cry,

memories shrouding,

lights drifting out,

touch gently cold,

hair of silk so beautiful,

love in passion,

passionate I am for you.

Love me,

holding on,

facing life.

I love you,

letting go,

finding truth.

Let our love,

cover our love,

reality love.

Johnny Newell

It's okay to hurt

I would love to say to you that I am not broken,
but to say such a lie wouldn’t be right.
It doesn’t matter to me that I cry,
and I feel that by doing so I am able to care.
I know not what is to come of tomorrow,
there are way too many minutes in today.
What I do know is how much I love you,
and I also feel how much you love me too.
Hearts are made to be broken by this love,
as all feelings come out of the pain I cry.
There is nothing so beautiful as what I feel,
for you I give my life more today.
When I look into your eyes I find,
what I have never wanted to see.
I am crying just to show you I care,
I am here just more alone than before.
I wonder if this loneliness will ever go away,
waking up in a sweat brought on by your absence.
I am not one to fear yet in love I am afraid,
not fully understanding what it is inside of me.
You see me for who I can be not just what I am,
I am not invisible to your eyes at all.
You love me as much as one could know,
in all ways I am completely in your heart and soul.
I never wanted to break apart from this love,
but to be this miserable is a way of knowing I can.
To feel alive in the death that surrounds me,
in light the darkness is much more than before.
You look into my eyes and cry every single time,
like the first night we kissed under the Scorpio Moon.
I have come to find that there is pain mixed in love,
a way of showing me that I can feel in all ways.
I know nothing of regret for what I feel deep inside,
for you are the reason in my eyes I can cry.
I loved you long before I ever knew what love could be,
found in the waters of a love made for you and me.
Your touch melts my skin revealing a heart so true for you,
taking from the despair I was in the lies in loving truth.
Look into my eyes again and see past these tears I cry,
I am in love with you more in pain, in death, and in life....







Johnny Newell

For you I dream

As you close your eyes I am there with you tonight,
with all the space between us, we shouldn't feel this much.
I am the light in your sky to remind you I am here,
you are the water in my grave longing for my touch.
With every second fading away I love you for who you are,
as the moon calls your name, I welcome your heart.
In dreams I can be all of your desires,
in life I am here to hold you so close inside.
I close my eyes and I know what is to come of us,
the images are of us and the love we have come to embrace.
With your arms wrapped around me and my heart bleeding for you,
I know that in this love we are more than we ever knew we could be.
You love me just enough to keep me wanting more,
in my soul you are with me, and in light we stand in the shadows.
I take in my life this love that can only be with us,
with a kiss so deadly I am bound by your passion inside.
I watch the flowers bloom and feel the new life spring before us,
my life is completed by your existence, and my dreams are one in the same.
You waited for me to know you first and in my teachings you are the star,
the light in my eyes that calls me to the darkness.
Love is not the word to describe what it is we share,
without regret I am falling deeper into your world.
I am your man made from the tears of old love forgotten,
you are the reason I live and the hope that I can one day die.
Look into my heart and find your name carved in the center,
I love you with all I can be, and I am waiting for you to dream of our love tonight..






Johnny Newell

Who am I now

I feel almost normal, but who is to say how long this will last?

Each second an eternity, each sound deafening.

Silence is the strongest fear, locked within my soul.

Crying makes no sense, I can’t dream anymore.

Each morning takes away my star, hiding her from view.

As I expect everything, futile touch unable to quench.

Leaving empty handed, waking up from waking up at all.

Who is normal, what does that even mean?

So different we are, so far apart being together.

Taste falls into scents and lace, intoxicated with hope.

Seeing light so vulgar, images speak my words.

Dark heart am I alone, without me who am I going to be?

Emotions fester in my hands, where a heart once was.

When I could see her, I love the way she would shine.

Lighting up any room, just with her smile.

Dreariness so weary, sleeping sleeplessness I am tired.

Flames calling the winds of desire, water covers my world.

Anticipating the end, I never got the chance to even start.

I only fear the very fear inside, consumed by false beliefs.

Pulling hair, softly crying hard, rain pouring down in my heart.

Never a cloud in the sky, never even a sky.

No moon to paint my body pale, so cold my winter has become.

Laying down only to rise, living death only to face regrets.

Who am I without me, who am I without you?













Johnny Newell

Contradiction

Something calls me in so inviting it scares me.
A touch so cold I'm burning up inside.
Fires touched by ice.
Dreams blessed with you.
Holding nothing but everything.
Becoming one with love.
Taken away by your darkness.
Torn apart without your light.
Breathing air to die.
Tasting death to live.
Holding onto letting go.
Breaking my mind feeling your heart.
Depths shallow with pain.
Narrow oceans in rivers of love.
Breaking out to come inside.
Falling up to your touch.
Forsaken to be blessed.
Loved to know hatred.
Alone to feel together.
Lost just to be found.
Waking up to sleep.
Living just to dream.
Fading in instead of out.
Lying to tell the truth.
Fate becomes fact.
Light turns on the darkness.
Pain so soothing.
Heating up I'm freezing.
Nothing makes much sense save this,
I live to love you and love to be loved by you.
Breaking the chains to be tied down in a world of misunderstanding...
















Johnny Newell

Broken flames

At times I feel I matter so much I don’t matter at all,
insatiable lust before my dreams burn and fall.
No tears left to taste while my eyes pass from life,
finding the hopes I had are all but dead inside.
With all that is in me I lay down for you,
tasting the sorrow in our love so true.
Heart beats your name as I kiss the skies,
seeing the beauty in such beautiful eyes.
Taking life as a vision of dreams broken inside,
as the stars burn to black in the middle of the night.
I walk through the flames just to be next to you,
without any answers I feel what to do.
I loved you for a time and that time is still here,
torn by fate in a destiny coming clear.
Your lips against mine as the water collides,
making what’s easy in a love born inside.
I hold you down and take control of your flesh,
kissing what I feel inside of what is left.
Your eyes locked on mine as the darkness dies,
becoming this love where we were broken inside.
There is light in your soul and passion in your heart,
I will travel forever I don’t care just how far.
If I am dead already my ghost will hold you close,
never letting you go in this love we have come to know.
There may be tears in my heart and blood in my eyes,
only in love for what we share through this night.
I am yours in all ways like I was never before,
too much to imagine without wanting to feel more.
Flowers may pass away but in my arms you are loved,
I may be far away but in your arms I wont give up....







Johnny Newell

Take my love away

I scream, silent images void of life.

You listen, only to the empty voice.

I cry, lonely tastes of a lost kiss.

You laugh, at my pleas to hold you.



Where have you gone to in my dreams,

is this the end or the silence before the start?

Vividly painted in white as red covers my soul,

eyes broken in blind hearts of love.

Spilling aimless wanderer so forgotten,

waxing the moon in all thoughts painfully felt.

I see nothing but the finish line you made me cross,

touched by wings of devils laughing in my face.

How do I let go without ever holding on,

doesn’t this feel like a little more than a dream?

Walls built strong so weak my arms are,

failing at failure disgusted within my cries.

Tearing down only to be buried by bricks,

covered in black, torn by your heart.

Knowledge falls sway to this storm crashing flames,

means to an end breaking my walls down for your touch.

Burn me if you feel the need I enjoy your pain,

abuse me with a kiss so deadly I feel so alive.

Hold me down take my breath away,

kill me with your love, that’s all I want.

I never lived before you, never felt this way,

I would rather die in your love than live without you.

Take me from this heaven, damn me in your fire,

all that felt good before is nothing compared to your touch.

Sitting here alone in your shadow’s light begging for more,

hurt me, force me, make me do what you want, I will.













Johnny Newell

In love I died tasting life

Sometimes it was hard just to be able to breathe,
unable to stand on my own as life became my end.
Testing waters of fear under passions and pain,
tears cried in the form of dragons wings.
In my heart I was broken and alone,
people around me as I blended in to the crowd.
So lost and confused I looked for my way,
too much fear controlling my destiny.
Greatly I walked on in my sorrow,
pain my only friend in this path I chose.
Loved by grief in broken dreams so cold,
eyes painting light in darker shadows.
It was there when I came to see her light,
the emptiness just left me there to fall.
Into her arms I cried for something beautiful,
a touch I was never able to feel.
Darkness had my heart on a string breaking away,
caught by a love I now understood.
This was only the start of something perfect,
imperfection paramount in eyes so cold and dark.
She loved me to love me in light so afraid,
when I couldn't find my way, she made it for me.
Too many ways in searching for my demise,
too many thoughts betraying my will to live on.
Letting go of understanding I understood,
all of my ways broken in the eyes I see with now.
Her love for me was beautiful in a heart so ugly inside,
making even my dreams so much more than before.

She has me still.
Still hearts bleeding hope.
Hope for nothing but this love.
Love inside of blind eyes perfection.
Perfection calling destiny.
Destiny Fate our path.
Path for love and light holding hearts.
Hearts crying for fear of love.
Love becoming our only truth.
Truth lies to death calling home.
Home no beautiful in Love's arms.
Arms of painful memories letting go.
Go down this path and find.
Find in my eyes this dream.
Dream of a beauty never known.
Known is my heart now by her.
Her love holding me still in darkness and in light.











Johnny Newell

Beautifully dark

Stars falling from the shadows ripping my world apart,
a light held in my eyes bringing forth your heart.
Lovers meeting reasons why together they should be,
for in everything once dead is a life they find so sweet.
A darker side of the room holding their love inside of dreams,
never able to know what truth is, never the way it seems.
Kissed by pain in waters bleeding red in new light,
tasting the world end while their love survives the night.
No amount of power to withstand what they know,
Love their strength in everything their hearts can show.
Watching from the deep black sky to see in them this love,
taking charge of what was forced to make this choice enough.
There is nothing left to fall away as the darkness takes control,
nothing to break away what in their eyes will not let go.
Sorrow in nothing now as life fills the skies,
tears crashing down from beautifully darker eyes.
I touch the wind with a sigh of relief found in death,
life just the start of what in their hearts seen as rest.
There is no grave to hold them apart from each other,
no fear that steals the feelings of these lovers.
Breaking just to be the puzzle not even they can comprehend,
just making Love the only hope left in hearts changing ends.
Look past the darkness and you will see the light their Love creates,
found in destiny of lovers dreams living beyond their fate....





Johnny Newell

Gothic heart

Never seeing the reasons behind my tears,

depths of hell causing hopes to diminish.

Bleeding out just to feel something,

beauty held in each drop spilt.

Darkness so perfect in your eyes,

something to live for within you.

Tasting death in each kiss we share,

embraced with pain twisted our love.

How you look into me when I wake,

each moment lived much more than the last.

In time we stand still to know eroticism,

pleasure able to succeed endless dreams.

Phantasm empty, realism broken.

This light we hide from seeking out our own,

shadows calling, answers come from our hearts.

Loving the darkness in this vacant light shinning,

feelings becoming all that we show.

Emotionally disturbed taking death for love,

sliced wrists speaking what we could never say.

Holding the coldest heart in my hands,

so dark, so evil, so in love with mine.

Laughing at ourselves we swim far away,

in black we shine forth our undying lust.

Taking breaths as our last we feel this moment strong,

desire ending, want falling, our love bleeding forever.











Johnny Newell

Wants needed

In a snow storm your are the rain,

in the middle of the ocean you are my flame.

A flower in the desert so beautiful,

the only reason left for me to breathe.

In your soul a heart resides comfortably lost,

my hands on your side kissing desires away.

Circles in the middle of squares you fit,

the only piece of the puzzle of my heart.

The warmth I feel in the winter is your touch,

a gentle breeze taking the heat from my hell.

In the night you are the only shinning star,

you are what I want, need, all that I have.

The time that stops each time you’re near,

no matter how close I feel you closer.

On the tip of my tongue you are my answers,

a prayer never asked but given in abundance.

Life to my death, hopes to my fears,

love in pain, joy in my sorrow.

I see my reflection in your eyes,

the only mirror I can stand to peer into.

In all things bad you are what’s pure,

in my heart, my soul, my life, you are everything.











Johnny Newell

With all things lost

With a tear, faces are reflected.

In a smile I can’t seem to show,

my world falls to despair.

With a word, I am speechless.

In a laugh I once let out,

all dreams are shattered.

With a look, I hate who I am.

In the mirror is a broken soul,

crying to just escape my fate.

With a touch, I am so cold.

In a feeling I never knew before,

all that I see is lost in my eyes.

With a lie, love was spoken.

In my eyes is only sorrow,

felt from a meaningless life.

With a whisper, words broke me.

In lips so beautiful I fell away,

only to taste the pain I gave.

With a heart, I am heartless without you.

In my soul there was once something pure,

I just can’t remember when anymore.

With a lie, death was created.

In my grave where I wait,

all things mean nothing to me now.













Johnny Newell

The last word

Words don't mean much to me yet they are my life,
in spoken feelings I am able to be yours.
I have never had this much to say without saying anything at all,
lost in this confusion I am waiting by the door of loves heart.
To run would be death to what I have come to know,
my heart was created in these waters for loving you.
You say things to me in ways I am not used to feeling,
breathing all of your soul in with mine as we become united.
Hand fasted by the Goddess, married to the world before us,
standing strong in the rivers of blood pouring from our love.
You say goodnight as you begin to close your eyes,
welcoming the last word I lay down at your side.


Nights become our home,
days makes us leave.
All fear forgotten,
dreams becoming so real.
Pink and black before me,
scarlet dress undone.
Lust turning love,
ecstasy born.
Lights forget our names,
shadows welcome us home.
Touching in passions hold,
feeling much more than love.
Sweet taste in my mouth,
up against a tree as one.
Breaking rules of love,
fucking for more than pain.

I listen to your voice speaking to me in riddles I understand,
false beliefs gone away, truth becoming our way out.
Life so full but empty to our views of love,
breathe in the lies they spill and fall away with the rest.
In our hearts we are one flesh melting under fire,
waters forge our souls as we drape the covers of light.
I see you in new ways, you found me with loves awakening,
all thoughts became this moment set in stone before we lived.
I look to you under the moonlit sky painting our bodies together,
bloody and broken under the lies of the tears we will never cry again.
I lay you down to rest and before you close your eyes,
"I love you my husband, before our time was our lives"...











Johnny Newell