Apathetic sympathy

At a loss, my words empty, my heart dead to life.

In my eyes there is pain, too much to bear.

Tears have run dry, heart without a song.

Empty pictures, deathly cold I am burning away.

Nothing to say, painful thoughts, alone I shall die.

Lost inside, broken out, dead to everything.



I feel so cold inside of my prison,

a cage without bars,

illusion of walls,

broken.



Sorrow,

tearless crying eyes,

fading images and dreams,

facing my world of pain unable to feel.



Can anybody hear what I am feeling inside?

Is this the only dream left to comprehend?

Can’t you feel how much I love you?

Are my screams so silently spoken as to ignore?

I am now more gone, so gone as to understand the meaning.



Intellectual intelligence smitten loveless man,

answers my mind will never understand.

All thoughts break my worlds apart,

sinking soul in a man without a heart.

You hold it still in your hands this meaning,

eyes blind to what I should have been seeing.

Never failing in your arms my reason to live,

after all is done I gave you all that I had to give.

I wasted so much time trying to figure out up and down,

leaping into the air to always land back on the ground.

Spinning around without direction helping me see,

broken mirror this lonely man reflecting me.

Hopes meaningless dreams fading into distances too great,

showing you today my love, but showing you too late.



Coffee waking cigarette burning chocolate drizzle,

tasting sweet finding how bitter love can be.

Trying and trying for another chance to feel you,

but I am never enough for you, never enough at all.

I break each time I try to sleep,

closing my eyes to pictures left inside.

Soul black as my heart once was,

refill my coffee please.

Apathy my purpose for your empathy,

sympathy calling, not my name.

I tried not to care, I tried and failed,

lights become my haven safe from myself.

I just wish I knew what this meant,

I wish you still cherished my heart.











Johnny Newell