Empty man

Hidden behind any mask that could fit,
always being the man that fear controlled.
Couldn’t for what I allowed myself to become,
what would it prove anyway?
I would always hide who I was behind my eyes,
never finding the bottom I was looking for.
Each second lasting longer than the last,
alone was all I could feel within my black heart.
Death was the only path I wasn’t able to find,
love was never something I could feel.
My eyes were dead to all that cared to see,
but never enough to ask me what was wrong.
I felt most comfort when alone in large crowds,
so easy for others to miss who I was.
I had tears that wouldn’t exit through my soul,
finding release in no ways but one.
Trapped by fear, consumed by desire,
giving up before I knew what to do.
Found one night alone and afraid,
reaching into this empty man I had become.
A touch so beautiful it is hard to believe,
finding light on this dark path I walked.
Holding onto this moment as the night fades away,
filled by love in a once broken heart.
Looking back to try to understand,
why did I allow myself to become an empty man......





Johnny Newell