Who am I now

I feel almost normal, but who is to say how long this will last?

Each second an eternity, each sound deafening.

Silence is the strongest fear, locked within my soul.

Crying makes no sense, I can’t dream anymore.

Each morning takes away my star, hiding her from view.

As I expect everything, futile touch unable to quench.

Leaving empty handed, waking up from waking up at all.

Who is normal, what does that even mean?

So different we are, so far apart being together.

Taste falls into scents and lace, intoxicated with hope.

Seeing light so vulgar, images speak my words.

Dark heart am I alone, without me who am I going to be?

Emotions fester in my hands, where a heart once was.

When I could see her, I love the way she would shine.

Lighting up any room, just with her smile.

Dreariness so weary, sleeping sleeplessness I am tired.

Flames calling the winds of desire, water covers my world.

Anticipating the end, I never got the chance to even start.

I only fear the very fear inside, consumed by false beliefs.

Pulling hair, softly crying hard, rain pouring down in my heart.

Never a cloud in the sky, never even a sky.

No moon to paint my body pale, so cold my winter has become.

Laying down only to rise, living death only to face regrets.

Who am I without me, who am I without you?













Johnny Newell