Pain bleeding love

Am I not allowed to cry when feelings are too much to bear?

When I write my heart there are those that get upset with me,

crying because I cry for someone else’s pain so great.

I don’t understand the way this world works anymore,

not that I ever did, I have been so lost in my own.

Tears shed for the loss of something never truly had,

guilty before knowing what the reason for pain is inside.

Why do some people find pleasure in pushing me down?

It is true that I have cried for so many things tangible,

facing fears only to whined up so afraid to cry.

False accusations presumptions preceding glory,

facetious laughter called out of the rain.

No triumph in the painful moments now alone,

where her heart is my hands are still so cold.

Beating me for crying in a loss felt before,

nothing will ever compare to what broke me yesterday.

Waking up screaming in the darkness only to be afraid,

dying a little more each time I see her face.

Winds of desire changing my soul to die,

unable to love the man I am now.

I am nothing but a vacant sorrow forgotten in her eyes,

a memory too great to bring up again.

I am run dry of blood and tears in the love she gave,

if broken is the answer, I would do it all the same.

Alone I wake up in this winter of my life,

hoping to die I pray to the night to come.

No promises left to fulfill inside of my heart already gone,

make-believe love in a picture where love is true.

I try to cry my last breath in your arms tonight my love,

never will you hear me, feel me, believe in my heart again.









Johnny Newell