Giving up myself

For my whole life I have fought off my heart,

unable to grasp the depth of emotions.

Dropping to my knees I cry out for help,

trying to hold onto who I am.

Alone I have always made myself,

desperately seeking the light I hid away.

Shadows have known my soul too dark to express,

no reflection save the one bearing my love.

Still silent after so many years in anguish denied,

my lips portray the kiss of death I sought out.

Never alone in my solitude broken by dreams,

rainbows pouring into my heart, lifeless man I die.

I can only give up now after failing to remain without love,

each word unspoken holds the keys to my eyes.

A simple thought of retribution reminding me of days before,

when I was so broken and empty in my loneliness now gone.

I raise my arms reaching out for one to take notice of me,

so lost in the shame of needing one to lift me up.

Dark wings bringing light into my eyes blinded by hope,

giving up who I was to taste the life I have always denied.









Johnny Newell