What I am in you

What was it about me that took you?

I try to figure out what your eyes can see,

but when I look in the mirror I find nothing but hate.

Looking beyond what my eyes think they see inside,

to discover something found only by you.

Who am I to even try to understand?

What I first noticed in you was your heart.

The way you could express what I was feeling.

Sometimes I look back to when our winter was one,

realizing that wasn’t that long ago.

In you I am more than just an image of words,

painted by a heart so black I bleed tears of pain.

Under my disguise of laughter a scared boy cries,

seeing the truth that is such a lie in my life.

I try to breathe without you, I cannot.

I try to feel the light, pain covers me.

I wish I knew your touch closer than my own,

if only you could hear what my eyes have to say.

Never a moment of regret in what we are,

so close yet somehow so far away.

Light bleeds the day my soul crushed by fear,

crashing waves of air so wet the rain.

In me there is always you.

Making beautiful my heart in your hands.

Touched beyond reason I let go of my pride,

as in your heart I vanquish my pain.

Who knew how much your love could reach?

Was I ever a thought before, was I always so dark?

Without question I know only one thing,

I love you more with each passing day.

Johnny Newell