My face is in my hands, phone on the floor,
eyes covered in makeup smeared from my tears.
Another way to escape this life has been found,
in a heart that was only beautiful to my eyes.
She never had the chance to finish her dreams,
why she let go is something I can’t explain.
More than the life she was found in her smile,
so much more her heart meant to me in the dark.
Seeping lights fading away as I fall to my knees,
why she had to die is something I will never fully get.
In so many words she spoke to me in love,
even by saying hello, my heart would stop.
Cringing fearful thoughts betrayed by images lies,
facing faulty hearts homeless despise the night.
Under her wings of fallen faces finds the way,
a way out of life only to live in death.
Unable to undo what was already done,
permanent solution to temporary problems.
I was here for her but apparently not enough,
so far away I was but now a different world.
As I slice into my wrist I feel the pain she may have known,
with tears in my eyes all else fades from my heart.
I loved everything she was in my life,
now in her death I wake up screaming at night.
What can I feel now that my best friend has fallen away,
I have no tears left to feel, no feelings left to say.
Johnny Newell
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